The Complications Of Falling
by aut189
Summary: Right after Meredith tells Nathan that Megan is alive. Alex tells Jo he found her husband. How will Jo react to Alex telling her that he found her husband? Meredith starts to have strange feelings. How will she deal with these new feelings for her best friend/ person? What happens if something tragic happens? Can they find comfort in one another?
1. Ring Of Fire

Mer's pov

* * *

 _Its been a very hectic day and night. I just told Nathan that Megan is alive. He doesn't believe me at first. Once he believes me. He's says he is sorry and gets the car. I watch him drive away to find her. Sometimes I miss Derek. I walk back inside. I see alex. He tells me that he decided not to go after Jo's husband. I was relivied that he wasn't going back to prison. I turn walk away when Alex grabs my arm and swings me back around._

 _"Mer what's wrong"? He asks concernly._

 _I try to stop the tears from falling. I blinked back the tears._

 _"Nathan is going back to be with Megan" I chock out into sobs._ _He looks at me with a sympathetic look in his eyes. Sometimes I feel that me and him have a connection that's undeniable. More like a friendship type way._

 _"Hey, hey, Mer I know I said many times that I hate him. But I'm so sorry that your getting your heart broken again. I also know if it was Derek you would already be gone" Alex assures me. I give Alex smile and he wipes the tears out of my eyes._

 _"Thanks Alex I always know I can count on you" I confidently say._

 _"Your welcome Mer, I'm also your person. I still don't know what that means really" Alex chuckles. I begin to laugh too._

 _"So are you going to tell Jo you went after her husband"? I asked._

 _"I can't what if she's mad at me for interfering when she told not to" Alex states._

 _"Alex" I replied._

 _"What"? He answers._

 _"You have to, otherwise she will be mad when she finds out from someone else and not you" I explain._

 _" I know" Alex sighs._

 _"Bailey is giving a speech about the fire and what floors to avoid" I sighed as I head to where Bailey is talking._

 _While baliey is explaining I see Alex is talking to Jo. Then bam stuff fell from the floor above. "I guess avoid the 4th floor nurses station" Bailey blurted. I was still in shock._

 _I went up to Megan's room. I walk in and tell Megan I can do the surgery to replace her abdomen. We wheel her into the O.R. "Ten blade" I ask my scrub nurse._

 _I start to make a incision. "Dr Avery, we need you in O.R 3" Andrew interrupted._

 _He takes off his surgical scrubs and walks out the door. It's probably Amelia. She is always being an overachiever until something starts to fall apart. She does remind me of her big cocky of a brother and also my first love._

 _He was always pushing past the limit. He was almost fired I don't know how many times. 12 hours later my surgery was finally completed. I was so exhausted. I go to the attending locker room. I get there and try to open the door. But it was locked. Then I move my head on to the door and listen. I hear moaning. I decided to just to go home. I get outside and I see Nathan on the bench with his head by his knees._

 _"You okay? I ask._

 _"Megan said no. She says that I'm still in love with you" Nathan explains._

 _I just roll my eyes. I begin to walk away._

 _"Are we going to at least talk about this" He pleads. I just continue to walk away. I get in the car and drive home. I get home and see that the kids are already in bed and head up to my room._ _I open my door. I see Alex packing his stuff._

 _"Alex what are you doing"? I ask suspiciously._

 _"Oh hey Mer. Me and Jo are back together" He replies with a smile._

 _"So you told her"? I ask_

 _. "Yes, and she wasn't mad. She actually locked the attending locker door and we had sex right there" Alex explains._

 _Oh so that was Jo and Alex. I couldn't explain the feeling I felt in my heart. Maybe it's because Alex is moving out and I'm stuck with Maggie and Amelia. Not that they are horrible to live with. It's just that Alex understands me._

 _"Well that's good you guys are back together" I replied with a fake smile._ _I was sad that Alex was moving out._

 _"I got to go Mer see you at work tomorrow" Alex says as he hugs me goodbye. I watch him walk away._

 _After he leaves my eyes start to water. I don't know why I'm crying. I hear the door bell ring. I walk down stairs. I open the door. And there was Nathan._

 _"Nathan what are you doing here"?_ _I asked curiously._

 _"I just need to ask you something and you can't interrupt me" He explains._

 _I just nod._

 _"Are you okay if we get back together"? Nathan asks._

 _I was shocked. I didn't know what to say._

 _"Nathan I know that Megan said no to you. But I'm not sure how I feel about you. I didn't date you for Maggie's sake. But now she seems okay with us. I just don't feel the way I did before. I'm so sorry Nathan. It's just a part of me still hasn't moved on" I confess._

 _"Okay take your time, I will be there when you are ready" Nathan says with a smile._

 _"Goodnight" I reply as I close the door._

 _"Goodnight Grey" Nathan says before leaving._

 _I close the door. The tears kept flowing thru my eyes. I crawl into my bed and fall asleep. What could these feelings be about?_


	2. The Heartbreaking Truth

Alex's Pov

 _After going after Jo's husband, I decided to go home. I get home and it's chaos. The hospital is evacuating the patients outside. Smokes everywhere. Just being out there was hard to breathe. I was walking inside when I see Mer run inside looking upset. I decide to go after her. I_ _tell her that I decided not to go after Jo's husband. She turns to walk away when I grab her arm and swing her back around._

 _"Mer what's wrong"? I ask concernly._

 _"Nathan is going back to be with Megan" She chocks out into sobs._

 _I look at her with a sympathetic look in my eyes. "Hey, hey, Mer I know I said many times that I hate him. But I'm so sorry that your getting your heart broken again. I also know if it was Derek you would already be gone" I assure her. She gives me a smile and I wipe the tears out of her eyes._

 _"Thanks Alex I always know I can count on you" She confidently says._

 _"Your welcome Mer, I'm also your person. I still don't know what that means really" I chuckled_ _. She begins to laugh too._

 _"So are you going to tell Jo you went after her husband"? She asks._

 _"I can't what if she's mad at me for interfering when she told not to" I state._

 _"Alex" She replied._

 _"What"? I answer._

 _"You have to, otherwise she will be mad when she finds out from someone else and not you" She explains._

 _" I know" I sigh._

 _"Baliey is giving a speech about the fire and what floors to avoid" She sighed as We head to where Bailey is talking._

 _While baliey is explaining I was listening to Baliey when Jo comes up to me ._

 _"They took Stephanie to a burn clinic center" Jo says sounding weak._

 _I don't say anything. After Baliey is done taking. Then bam stuff fell from the floor above._

 _"I guess avoid the 4th floor nurses station" Baliey blurted._ _I head to my patient._

 _"Jo come with me" I stated._

 _She follows me to my patients room. After the sub interns come. One of them drops their glasses in the open patient. Jo handles it like a boss. I thought about telling her. But it just wasn't the right time to bring it up. Well it's never good time to bring anything up. The next day I was waiting in the line to get in to work. When I see Jo and Ben talking. Just right then the glasses guy came up to Jo. After the guy left. I hear Jo say something to Ben._

 _"You slept with him"? Ben questions._

 _"No I had sex with him" Jo says shyly._

 _"You slept with glasses"! I asked out loud._

 _Jo turns around. She has this scared look on her face. She was waiting for my reaction. I just burst out laughing._

 _"I'm sorry , it's just really funny" I respond between laughs._

 _I just walk off. Part of me was jealous but the other part didn't care. I mean we were broken up, so none of us cheated. I was watching Mer's surgery when Ben told me that Jo is afraid I would physically hurt her. That rocked me to the core. I never thought that she was going to be scared I would hurt her. After my talk with ben. I go talk to Jo._

 _"I found your husband" I blurted out._

 _"Oh god Alex" Jo starts to panic._

 _"But I decided not to go after him. And I would never hurt you. That guy who's your husband is who my dad was. I would never ever hurt you and I'm sorry I scared you" I confessed._

 _"So you didn't kill him" ? Jo questioned._

 _"No I didn't, I thought about it" I replied._

 _"Okay" Jo says as she walks away._

 _I thought she was going to leave. But instead she locks the door. She comes up to me. I put my lips on hers. She puts hers on mine. An hour later I go to Mer's and pack my stuff. We are back together now. Maybe she will actually say yes now._

 _"Alex what are you doing"? Mer asks suspiciously._

 _"Oh hey Mer. Me and Jo are back together" I reply with a smile._

 _"So you told her"? She asks._

 _"Yes, and she wasn't mad. She actually locked the attending locker door and we had sex right there" I explain._

 _"Well that's good you guys are back together" She replied with a smile._

 _"I got to go Mer see you at work tomorrow" I say as I hug Mer goodbye._

 _I walk out the door. I could hear crying. I thought about going back in. But then Jo called. "Yes babe". "Are you on your way"? She asks. "Yes I have my stuff on my way right now" I reply as I get into the car. After I hang up, I put the car in drive and head back to mine and Jo's place._

 _The next day. I walk in and Andrew come up to me. "Yes decluca"? I ask._

 _"I think you need to see something" He states with a complete straight face._

 _I follow Andrew into a room with a bunch of tumor C.T scans._

 _"Who's are theses"? I asked._

 _"It's someone in the hospital that works here" Andrew answered._

 _"Decluca I don't have time for games" I snapped._

 _"Alex I think you really should let me finish" Andrew demands._

 _"Okay fine explain" I scoffed._

 _"Alex sorry Dr. Karev, these are the brain scans of Dr. Shepherd" He said sincerely._

 _The wind was knocked out of me. "Oh my god" I gasp with a huge breath._

 _"I'm so sorry, Alex. She won't let me tell anyone. It's 10 centimeters" Andrew explains._

 _I start to zone out. I can't keep this hidden from Mer, and everyone else. And especially Owen. I know how it feels to find out the wrong way. Izzie never told me. And then she sighed a stupid DNR. Then later she leaves me cause she was fired._

 _"Thanks for telling me, Andrew" I thank him before going to find Amelia. I find her._

 _"Dr. Shepherd_ _can I speak with you, alone"? I ask._ _She leaves the room and follows me into a on-call room._

 _"What did you need me for" ? She asks._

 _"Amelia why haven't you told us about your brain tumor"? I ask in a serious tone._

 _"Damn it Deluca"! Amelia yells._

 _"Amelia do you remember what I told you about my ex-wife"? I ask._

 _"Yes she had a brain tumor" Amelia replied._

 _"Yes and she was stage four and 5% percent chance on surviving. And if you don't tell Owen he will find out from a different person. I know it's really hard. But you will get thru this" I explained. Amelia starts to cry._ _"I know I'm sorry" I tell her as I hug her._

 _After an hour of her crying she finally calms down. We walk out of the on-call room. Owen sees us. He face turns into full of rage. I could see him charging at me._

 _"Owen it's not what it looks like" I pleaded._

 _"Shut up Karev, since you lost Izzie, you had Lexie, April but not so long you were a jerk to her. Then there was Jo and now you want Amelia too"! Owen yelled enraged._ _Those words hit with venom. I looked over to Amelia._

 _"Owen, I need tell you something" Amelia interrupted softly._

 _"Amy, what is it"? He asked worried._ _She takes a deep breathe before telling him the news._

 _"Okay yesterday I found out that I have 10 centimeter brain tumor" She burst into tears. Owen's face went white._

 _"Oh my god Amy, I'm so so sorry that I yelled at you and went off on Alex" Owen answers back as tears stream down his face._

 _"We didn't do anything, Owen I would never do that to you" I state._

 _"I know, I'm sorry" Owen replies back holding Amelia in his arms. Owen takes Amelia into the on-call room to calm her down._ _As I was walking away I saw Jo. She looked upset._

 _"Jo what's wrong"? I asked._

 _"First Stephanie and now Dr Shepherd" She croaks out._

 _"Jo, I know it isn't fair" I calmly state as I pull her into a hug. Jo starts crying. Her eyes became red. Her cheeks started to get blotchy. I rubbed her back up and down until she fell asleep in on-call room._

 _I leave Jo a note and head out. I walk out the door and head to my consult I was paged for. I get there and Mer is doing paperwork. She probably hasn't heard yet. I could hear the nurses whispering what they heard. The nurses are known for spreading rumors and gossip. They have been doing that since I was intern. Once I slept with Nurse Olivia and she broke it off. She started sleeping with George. I was hurt, but I moved on. Then Izzie and I got together. It wasn't long before I cheated. I felt so bad for doing that to Izzie she didn't deserve that. Then we got back together, then she dumped me for that corpse, Denny Duquette. Then she had affair with George. That was heartbreaking. They didn't work out. I don't want Jo to think of me is that asshole I was before. I have grown up. I'm more mature. But sometime she seems like a child to me. I walk over to Mer._

 _"Hey you okay"? I asked worriedly._

 _"How could I be okay, Alex? Amelia has a brain tumor. A freakin brain tumor. She is a neurosurgeon. And she gets a brain tumor. Like what are the freakin odds"! She yells as tears fall from her eyes._

 _She looked so heartbroken. She used to say "I'm fine". When she really wasn't. She has been thru so much for most of her life. Losing Derek was devastating for her. She even left Seattle to get away from the memories._

 _"Mer, I'm so sorry, all theses bad things are happening. I wish I could turn back time and change what is happening, but you know messing with the past is never good idea" I softly said._

 _"But why Alex, I have been thru so much. I don't think I can handle losing anyone else." She states as more tears burst out._ _I decided to call the one person that help the most._

 _"Hello? Someone answered._

 _"Hey"._

 _"Alex"? Someone asked._

 _"Yes, it is evil spawn" I replied cocky._

 _"Why are you calling? Did you lose my money? Cause if you did I don't have any to give you" She stated Sharply._

 _"No it's Mer, she needs you" I informed._

 _"What did you do to her"! Cris demand._

 _" I didn't do anything, one of Derek's sisters has a brain tumor and Mer's taking it really hard" I tell her._

 _"Oh my god, I will be on the next flight out" Cris states._

 _"Okay, I will pick you up when you land" I reply back. She hangs up._ _Mer has calm down a little bit._

 _"Mer, you better"? I asked._

 _"Not really but I will be fine" She answers still shaking._


	3. Confusion

_Mer's Pov_

 _Why is life complicated? Life is complicated for many reasons. But why is my life so complicated? I really never have known why my life is so complex. I have dealt with so many complicated situations in my life like bombs in body cavities or plane crashes. I always feel like I have bad luck. Like it follows me and tracks me down to see how long I will last. For as many as near death experiences, I should died by now. Maybe I have some good luck too._

 _I woke up with this dreadful feeling. My stomach tightened to the thought. And when I get theses feelings something devastating happens._

 _"Mer, time to get up", Maggie said as she was knocking on my door._

 _"No, Maggie I can't go to work today I just know something is going to happen", I begged._

 _"Mer, come on your going be late, get up now",! Maggie argues_

 _"Fine"! I snapped_

 _I got my tired body got of bed. I walk over to the bathroom. I hopped in the shower. I miss Alex living here. After I was done. I head down stairs. Maggie was feeding the kids waffles. Walffes was Alex's thing. We came up with waffle Sunday's, when we thought he was going to prison. Or he thought he was._

 _"Those waffles look great", I chipped._

 _"Thanks, I used Alex's recipe. I asked him if he minded and he said no", Maggie states as she washes the leftover dishes._

 _"Oh tell him thank you" , I replied quckily as I realized we only had little over half hour until work started._

 _"Mer we should get going", Maggie implied._

 _I grab the kids and we get into the car. As I was driving I felt a jolt. I didn't know what was happening. The car shifted brusquely. They were tiny little cries from the back seat._

 _"Mommy, what's going on"?, Zola asked scared._

 _"I don't know sweetheart, I will make sure we are okay", I tell her with a calming tone._

 _My steering wheel locked. I was going 45 mph. I tried to turn the steering wheel but it wouldn't budge. The car kept going. This time I tried the break. I slammed my foot on the break. Nothing happened. I start to panic. But not a lot so I wouldn't frighten the kids. I saw we were heading into the car in front. I tired the steering wheel one last time. This time I was able to swerve out of the way. I braced myself for impacted._

 _"Mer, watch out,! Maggie screamed._

 _"Mommy slow down"! Zola Screeched as we turn upside down._

 _The car tumbled over. I felt a huge pain in my shoulder. I most likely dislocated it. I turn my head to see if the kids are still there. Ellis is screaming blood curdling screams. I tried to pull my seatbelt it wouldn't budge. I look over to Maggie. She was knocked out. I move closer to her to check if she had a pulse. I moved my two fingers to her neck. There was still a slight pulse._

 _I pull the seatbelt one more time. But nothing happened. I start to get more panicked. I continue to look for something to cut my seatbelt. I look down at the glove department. I opened so quckily. I don't ever remember how quick. It all happened so fast. I found a little pair of scissors. I grabbed them and saw though the belt. I continued to saw. It took about 5 minutes to cut through. I tore it off franctically. I climbed over the debris. The first one I saw was Baliey. He was conscious. It look like he had a cut on his forehead._

 _"Mommy, I hurt everywhere", Baliey cried._

 _"Where does it hurt", I asked._

 _"My arm, my head and my leg" Baliey coughed out._

 _"Okay, Bal I'm going to get you out", I told him as I grabbed the scissors I had before and sawed the strap._

 _"Is Aunt Maggie okay",? Baliey asked with a frown._

 _I looked back over to the seat Maggie was in. I crawled over by her. I put my two fingers on her neck. But this time instead of a faint plus. I felt nothing. I had the scissors I had before and sawed at belt repeatedly._

The strap became loose. I pulled the belt off. I pushed the seat as far as it goes. I started chest compressions. I pushed up and down repeatedly on her chest. With force I kept pushing. With my other hand I checked if she had a pulse. She had slight plus again. I sighed in relief. I went back to Baliey. I cut through the belt and pulled it off and assessed his injuries. His leg was stuck under a large piece of the door. The door was push more forward. I could hear the cries of Ellis and Zola. I fight the tears and continued to pull the piece of the door off of him. I used all my strength. I grab the the side of it and pull. I was able to free his leg. I touch his leg. He whined when I moved my fingers to his knee.

 _"Owie"! Baliey yelped._

 _"I know, bud, I know it hurts", I repeat._

 _"Mommy"! Zola yelled._

 _"Where are you, Zo"? I shout trying to see where she could be._

 _"I don't know, Mommy. It looks so bright out here" She answered._

 _"Okay Zo, I will be there as soon as I can" I replied trying not to sound panicked._

 _I crawled my way to the sound of her voice. I opened the door. As I grab hold of the door it brakes off. I crashed on to the dark black road. I hear a pop. My shoulder was back in place. I tried to stand but my knees buckled and slammed back down on the pavement. I let out a huge excrustaing yelp. I got up crawled on my hands and knees. While crawling I smelled gas. I knew that meant I quckily crawled back to the car and grabs Ellis, Baliey._

"Maggie, please wake up, the car is going to blow up soon", I begged Maggie to wake up.

"Mer", Maggie grasped on to me.

"Maggie can you move anything"?, I asked.

"Yeah, I think I can walk" Maggie stated.

I watched her climb out of the car. She hobbled on her spranged ankle. She reached the other side of the road with Ellis and Baliey in her arms.

"Mommy"! Zo yelled.

"Zo, I'm coming", I shouted back trying control the tone in my shaky voice.

I crawled on my hands and knees. As I was crawling I tried to avoid any broken glass. I moved my knee forward. As I set my knee down. I felt a sharp piece go into my lower frontside of my leg. I ignore the pain and kept going. As I get closer I could hear more and more distant cries for help. I see Zo she was stuck under the car. I crawl underneath the car. I pull off a large heavy piece off her chest. I examed her chest. I could see bruising. When I lifted her now torn up shirt, I could see a little tiny bone poking. I could see tears in her brown eyes. I have no idea how long we have been out here. Zo's eyes were pleading for the pain to stop. Not to long after Zo's eyes start to flicker closed. I started to panic.

"Zo, No Zola stay here, baby we will get help soon" I cried.

"Mommy, by time they get here, it will be too late" Zola expresses.

"Zo, Baby they with be here, okay I promise" I whispered into her little brown ears.

The tears I have been holding in just burst out. My little girl is dying and I can't do anything about it. How heartbreaking this is. Why is my life so harmful all the time? Why can't I be happy? Why does my life have to suck? Zola closed her eyes. I start shake her little body. "Zo, no stay with me"! I shouted. "Zo,please I need you, you can't see your daddy yet, your still so young"! I repeated again. I slammed my hands on the car. I continued to hit the car repeatedly.

"Mer, what happened"? Maggie asked. But she stopped when she saw Zola with her closed eyes.

"Oh Mer, I'm so so sorry, this happened" Maggie says as she lets me cry on her bruised shoulder.

It wasn't long before the car started smoking and Maggie carried me as she ran. Then she goes back and grabs Zo. Literally seconds later there was a huge boom. Smoke covered the sky. The sky that was once light blue turned into a dark pitch black as it spread out through the sky. I covered my head from the falling debris. Ellis was crying again. I lifted my head off the ground. I grab Ellis from her car seat. I rock her in my arms. Even tho they are weak and tired. I still continue rocking her until she falls asleep. In the distance I could hear sirens. The got louder and louder each time. The ambulance pulls to a stop. The climb out of the back doors. My vision started to blur from the blood lose. My eyes fell closed and the last thing I knew was being lifted onto a gurney.


	4. Life Changes In Seconds

Maggie's pov

Mer was taking forever to get her ass put of bed. The kids were already up. I get Ellis ready and give her baby food. Baliey asks for waffles.

"Auntie Maggie, can we please have waffles"? Baliey asked with a cheesy smile.

"Yeah we can" I reply.

"Yay"! He squeals.

I just laughed to myself. I grab my phone. I look up recipes. After my first batch I gave up. Then an idea came into my head. I dialed the number. It began to ring.

"Hello"? Alex answered.

"Hey, Alex do you mind if I use your waffle recipe. I tried to look one up. But my first batch failed and Baliey really wants waffles" I complained.

"Yeah I will send the recipe, Maggie I got go see you at work" Alex stated before he hung up.

I started to make them again. After they were done. I noticed that Mer was still not up. She is so irritating sometimes. I run up the stairs. I walk over to Mer's door. I knock on the door. She doesn't answer.

 _"Mer, time to get up", I said as I was knocking on her door._

 _"No, Maggie I can't go to work today I just know something is going to happen", She begged._

 _"Mer, come on your going be late, get up now",! I argued in frustration._

 _"Fine"! She snapped._

 _I watch her head to the bathroom. I head down stairs to feed the kids. After a little while Mer finally goes downstairs._

 _"Those waffles look great", She chipped._

 _"Thanks, I used Alex's recipe. I asked him if he minded and he said no", I state as I wash the leftover dishes._

 _"Oh tell him thank you" , She replied quckily as She realized we only had little over half hour until work started._

 _"Mer we should get going", I implied._

 _Mer grabs the kids and we get into the car._

 _As she was driving. I felt a jolt. I didn't know_

 _what was happening. The car shifted brusquely. They were tiny little cries from the back seat. I was scared for my life._

 _"Mommy, what's going on"?, Zola asked scared._

 _"I don't know sweetheart, I will make sure we are okay", Mer tells her with a calming tone._

 _The steering wheel locked. We were going 45 mph. I saw tried to turn the steering wheel but it wouldn't budge. The car kept going. This time Mer tried the break. She slammed her foot on the break. Nothing happened. I start to panic. I saw we were heading into the car in front. Mer tried the steering wheel one last time. This time She was able to swerve out of the way. I braced myself for impacted._

 _"Mer, watch out,! I screamed._

 _"Mommy slow down"! Zola Screeched as we turn upside down._

 _The car tumbled over. My head slammed hard. I could feel a terrible pain in my ankle. I knew it was either broken or spranged. I was hanging upside down. The car was now on its roof instead of the wheels on the road. I started feeling really light headed. My stomach ached. My vision was getting less clear every minute. The last thing I saw was Mer checking me for a pulse as tears fall._

"Maggie, please wake up, the car is going to blow up soon", I heard Mer beg me to wake up.

"Mer", I grasped on to her.

"Maggie can you move anything"?, She asked.

"Yeah, I think I can walk" I stated.

I climb out of the car. I hobbled my way to other side of the road on my throbbing spranged ankle. I finally reached the other side of the road with Ellis and Baliey in my arms.I saw Mer slamming her hands on the car. She continued to hit the car repeatedly. I raced over to her with my spranged ankle.

"Mer, what happened"? I asked. But I stopped when I saw Zola with her closed eyes.

"Oh Mer, I'm so so sorry, this happened" I say as I let her cry on my bruised shoulder.

It wasn't long before the car started smoking and I carried Mer as I ran. Then I go back and grab Zo. Literally seconds later there was a huge boom. Smoke covered the sky. The sky that was once light blue turned into a dark pitch black as it spread out through the sky. I covered my head from the falling debris. And Mer did the same. Ellis was crying again. She lifted her head off the ground. She grabs Ellis from her car seat. Mer rocks her in her arms. Even tho they looked weak and tired. She still continued rocking her until she falls asleep. In the distance I could hear sirens. The got louder and louder each time. The ambulance pulls to a stop. They climb out of the back doors. Mer's vision started to blur from the blood lose. Her eyes fell closed. Tears pour down my face. My face has tones of dark red dried on blood. I watch as Mer gets carried onto the stretcher. The paramedic walks by me.

"Ma'am, could you answer a few questions for us"? I just nod.

"What happened"? He asked.

I shallowed a huge gulp. I sucked in as much air as I could before I breathed back out. I begin to explain to the paramedic.

"We got into the car. All sudden I notice that the steering wheel locked. We were going 45 MPH. After a the steering wheel wouldn't budge. She tried the brake. But the brake failed. She then tried the steering wheel one more time. She swerved out of the way and the car tumbled around" I told the paramedic as tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Thank you, Ma'am, now lets get you checked out" the short, muscular men said.

I was put gingerly on the strencher as they assessed my injures. They then put me in the ambulance and shut the doors. I heard whispers.

"I wonder how long they were out there"? One short blonde whispered.

"From the look of the girl, with the black hair curly. She was pinned under the car. Her father was Derek Shepard, the great neurosurgeon" The other girl explained to the blonde.

"Oh my god, and her mother is Meredith Grey, the Chief Of General Surgery at Grey Sloan Memorial" The blonde said shocked.

The ambulance came to a fast stop. I felt my body jolt from the gravity. They opened door. I was pulled out first. The first set of surgeons rushed to the gurney.

" Maggie pierces 28, multiple fractures in her left arm. A spranged ankle. Trouble breathing" The dark haired women told them.

"Maggie" Alex sighed as I could hear his breath quicken.

"Alex" I frantically called out.

"Where is Mer" He asked with his voice full of worry.

I tried to hide the scared look on my face, but Alex saw right through it.

"Mag, what happened? Where's Mer? Are the kids okay" Alex cried out frantically as tears poked through.

"Alex, you need to calm down, before I tell you" I replied. He's breathing soften.

"Meg, tell me. I can handle it" Alex states.

"We we're leaving for work. As Mer was driving. She tried to turn the steering wheel. But it wouldn't turn" I tell him. I could see more tears poke through his blue eyes. They looked so fragile. I didn't think I should continue. But his eyes were just pleading. I continued to explain.

"She then tried the brake. She slammed her foot down on it. Nothing happened. One last time she tried the steering wheel. This time it worked and she swerved out of the way. She lost control of the car. We flipped upside down. I was conscious for few minutes after we flipped upside. I woke up to Mer begging me to wake up. Not long after I climbed out of the car and grabbed Baliey and Ellis. We went to other side of the road. I heard Mer slamming her hands on the car repeatedly. I looked over and rushed to her side. When I saw" I couldn't finish my sentence. I start let the a bunch of tears from eyes on to my face, neck. Alex saw the tears and started to look panicked.

"Maggie, please don't tell me something else happened" Alex begged as tears soaked his cheeks.

"I saw Zola on the ground with her eyes closed" I chocked on my tears as I told Alex.

"Noooo!" Alex cried.

"I know , Then I carried Mer to other side on my throbbing spranged ankle. I went back for Zola. Minutes later the car exploded. Smoke was everywhere. I could barely see. I don't know how long it look for us to be found. It felt hours" I explained as more tears fell.

"Oh god" Alex finally said.

I started to to fall in and out of consciousness. My eyes start to feel heavy.

"Maggie, no. Stay alive"! I heard Alex yell. I fought to stay awake. I lost the battle. My very tired eyes shut.


	5. The Disaster That Just Has Begun

Alex's pov

I woke up with a werid feeling. Mer used to tell me how she would have this feeling that something was going to happen. I never thought about it until now. The feeling contained it's self as I got ready. Just after I got of the shower I get call.

"Hello"? I answered.

"Hey, Alex do you mind if I use your waffle recipe. I tried to look one up. But my first batch failed and Baliey really wants waffles" Maggie complained.

"Yeah I will send the recipe, Maggie I got go see you at work" I stated before I hung up.

After I hung up, jo comes by me asking who I was talking to.

"Who was what"? Jo asked curiously.

"Oh that was Maggie asking if she could use my waffle recipe" I told Jo.

"Oh I thought it was just yours and not to share" Jo expressed with sense of jealously.

"Maggie asked for Baliey and he really wants my waffles" I explained.

"You always drop everything for those kids and Meredith" Jo stated.

" I don't drop everything" I snapped.

"Alex why can't you see. Whatever your doing you drop it as soon as she asks for something" Jo yelled.

"Jo why do you always start with this"! I grumbled.

"Fine walk away like always Alex"! Jo yelled lividly

"I'm not walking away, I have work to go to. I suggest you do the same" I snapped.

I slammed the door and got in my car. Just as I put in my seatbelt. My pager goes off. Get timing. I muttered under my breath. I put the car in drive. I get to work. My patient coded. I raced to his room. "Paddles"! I yell. Someone hands me the paddles. I put them on Cj's chest. "Charge to 140"! I shouted. "Clear"! The nurse shouted. I push the button. I put the paddles on his chest. "Sinus rhythm" Jackson said out of breath. I go run tests. I turn in my lab results to Dr. Baliey.

After the Me, Amelia and Owen fiasco. It was very tense at work. Owen admitted Amelia into oncology ward. Owen made several calls to find the best neurosurgeon possible. Derek would have been the best option. But unfortunately he can't be there.

I notice that Maggie and Mer wouldn't hear. They should of started work hours ago. I start to have that feeling I had earlier this morning. My gut was telling me something and I didn't like it. I decided to visit Amelia. I head over to her room. I knock on her door to let her know.

"Finally someone who isn't my doctor or nurses" Amelia complained.

"How are you feeling"? I asked honestly.

"This sucks. Like I'm a freakin neurosurgeon for god sakes" Amelia spat as tears fell like rain.

"Amy, you will get through this, this is just a bump in the road" I positively said.

"Alex just your making me laugh" Amy said as she laughed.

"Ugh great, now I'm laughing too" I complained.

The laughter didn't last long. I couldn't shake this feeling. It wasn't a good feeling. More like horrible, devasting one. Amelia noticed the look on my face.

"Alex, what's wrong"? She asked worriedly.

"I just have this feeling. Like Mer said before she was attacked or everything she has done. I just can't shake this feeling that something terrible is happening" I explained as tears crept off my eye onto my cheeks.

"Alex, it's okay you don't have to act tough all the time. Mer is very strong. I know I'm strong too. Just let it out" Amelia convinces me to let my guard down. I look up to her. "Alex come here" she said as she moved over and patted for me to sit next to her. I was hesitant at first. I gave in anyway. "I called Cristina for Mer, she supposed arrive tomorrow" I told her. Amelia's face starts to look uncomfortable. "Oh sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable" I apologized. "No it's fine, it's just worried hearing about her" Amelia stated. "Yeah I guess it is worried for me too" I replied with the same amount of discomfort. My pager goes off again. "Sorry I have to go" I apologized again. "No it's fine, I will be fine. I just miss being out there" Amelia said morosely. I look up her and tell her to just hang in there. I rushed to the pit. The ambulance pulls up. The paramedic pulls open the doors. She pulls out the gurney quickly. I didn't get to see who it was until the blonde paramedic tells us.

" Maggie pierces 28, multiple fractures in her left arm. A spranged ankle. Trouble breathing" The dark haired women told us.

"Maggie" I said as my breath quicken.

"Alex" Maggie frantically called out.

"Where is Mer" I asked with a voice full of worry.

I could tell that she was trying to hide the scared look on her face, but I saw right through it.

"Mag, what happened? Where's Mer? Are the kids okay" I cried out frantically as tears poked through.

"Alex, you need to calm down, before I tell you" She replied. My breathing soften. I watched her.

"Meg, tell me. I can handle it" I state. Even though I most likely would break down. Mer and thoses kids mean the world to me.

"We we're leaving for work. As Mer was driving. She tried to turn the steering wheel. But it wouldn't turn" she explained

"She then tried the brake. She slammed her foot down on it. Nothing happened. One last time she tried the steering wheel. This time it worked and she swerved out of the way.

She lost control of the car. We flipped upside down. I was conscious for few minutes after we flipped upside. I woke up to Mer begging me to wake up. Not long after I climbed out of the car and grabbed Baliey and Ellis. We went to other side of the road. I heard Mer slamming her hands on the car repeatedly. I looked over and rushed to her side. When I saw" she couldn't finish her sentence. I couldn't hold in the tears anymore . I started to get more and more panicked as she told what happened.

"Maggie, please don't tell me something else happened" I begged as tears soaked my cheeks.

"I saw Zola on the ground with her eyes closed" She chocked on her tears as She told Me.

"Noooo!" I cried.

The word I didn't want to hear. Zola was gone. Zola was one of the kids I brought back from Africa through my project I made during my residency.

"I know , Then I carried Mer to other side on my throbbing spranged ankle. I went back for Zola. Minutes later the car exploded. Smoke was everywhere. I could barely see. I don't know how long it look for us to be found. It felt hours" She explained as more tears fell.

"Oh god" I finally said.

Maggie starts to go in and out of consciousness. Her eyes start to close.

"Maggie, no. Stay alive"! I yelled.

Maggie starts seizing. I hit the code blue button. April, Jackson, Arizona all ran in. "Oh my god" Arizona says. April and I lift Maggie, flip her to her side. Then April brings Maggie back down onto her back. I grabbed the paddles and hand them to April. "Charge to 200" April shouted to the charging nurse. "Clear". She pushes down with full force. Her heart still hasn't gone up. It was still flatlined. "Charge again"! she shouts again. The paddle come down onto Maggie a second time. This time her heart rate went up. I sighed in relief.

Dr. Baliey comes and pulls me outside. I knew this couldn't be could.

"Miranda, I'm asking you as a friend and not boss. Is the kids okay"? I asked anxiously.

"The kids haven't been made it here yet" She calmly states.

"Okay" I mumbled.

"I would like you to sit these out. You are super closed to Mer and her kids. I saw that you let Apirl do everything. Your not focused and you need to relax. Now go rest" Baliey encourages.

I head to an on-roll room. I rest my bed on the uncomfortable small beds. My mind kept getting caught. I decided to try to sleep on the couch in Amelia's hospital room. I knock softly on the door. I heard a mumbled voice. "Come in" Amelia said groggily. I opened the door.

"Hey" Owen said.

"Hey, do you minded if I take a nap. It's so comfortable and I'm freaking out about Mer and the kids" I asked.

"What about Mer?" Amelia asked confused.

"Amy, Mer, Maggie and the kids were in a car accident on their way to work this morning" Owen told Amelia.

"What"! Amelia cried. The tears fall from her blue eyes.

"I'm sorry Amy, Owens right. I really wish that he wasn't. Maggie is stable now. No real bad injures" I explained.

"How could this happen again, I can't lose another or all to a car accident" Amelia panicked and started hyperventilating.

"Amy breathe" Owen and I instructed.

Amelia grabs the paper bag from what Owen got her for lunch. She took the contents out. She breathed in and out into the bag. Her breathing started to regulate. Amelia finally took her mouth out of the bag.

"Are you okay"? I asked worried.

"I think I will be okay, update me as soon as you get new info and yes you can sleep on the couch" Amelia asked.

"Thanks so much" I reply.

"Your welcome, now get some sleep. Or do I have get out of this bed and make you" Amelia threated jokingly.

I laid my head on the blue couch and closed my worried filled eyes. The feeling I had. It was real. I regretted ignore it. I shouldn't of moved out. What didn't make sense is that the car worked just fine a week ago. The police told us we won't get the official report until they find the cause. As I slept I thought about me and Jo finally being happy together.


	6. Accident Or Sabotage

Baliey s Pov

 _It was just a normal day at Grey Sloan. I started my shifted an hour half early to do some paper work. Sometimes I wonder why I accepted this chief of surgery position. I love my job. It's just that I miss surgery. Like Dr. Webber always said that surgeons need to cut. Or they can't function._

 _I was paged down to the pit. The ambulance pulls up. They opened the familiar doors that I have seen since I was an intern. "What do we have"? I asked Heather._

 _"Derek Baliey Shepherd, 4 mild concussion. Broken right and left leg" Heather explains to us._

 _Still figuring out what was going on. "Page peds But not Dr. Karev and Ortho"I told the nurses at the nurses station. I raced along to the E.R. He starts to wake up. "Mommy"! Baliey cries._

 _"Baliey, can you calm down for me"? I asked_

 _"Yes I can" He says shortly._

 _I examined him. He didn't have anymore injuries. I softly ask him what casted he wanted. "Blue" Bal said cheery. It quickly faded. "Where am I"? He asked. "You are the hospital. We are fixing you up" I said with a small smile. To hide the pain._

 _Arizona's Pov_

 _I get paged to room 234. I walk in and there's Maggie laying there seizing. April, Jackson, I all run in. "Oh my god" I say. April and Alex lift Maggie, flip her to her side. Then April brings Maggie back down onto her back. Alex grabbed the paddles and handed them to April. "Charge to 200" April shouted to the charging nurse. "Clear". She pushes down with full force. Her heart still hasn't gone up. It was still flatlined. "Charge again"! she shouts again. The paddle come down onto Maggie a second time. This time her heart rate went up. I watch as the monitor slowly increase. Alex was pull out of the room by Dr. Baliey. He didn't come back in._

 _I was the paged back to the E.R. I raced quickly to where I was paged. The ambulance pull up. Opens its doors._

 _"Zola Shepherd", collapsed lung. A bone poking up from her rib cage. She crashed at the scene. We were able to get her back" The paramedic explained as she pushed the gurney out of the back._

 _My jaw dropped. I wasn't expecting this. This morning I was just having coffee and now Mer and her kids are in serious condition. I thought about the next best Peds surgeon, Alex. But He's so close to Mer and her kids. As they pulled Zola in. I could see her starting to open her eyes. Her eyes flickered open. Zola's face looked confused as she was absorbing her surroundings._

 _"Where's Mommy"? Zola asked in confusion._

 _"Your mom hasn't come in Zo. We are going to fix you up okay" I assured Zola as I examined her little body._

 _"Okay" She sighed._

 _"Zo can you sit up for me"? I asked._

 _She tried to sit up. She lets a loud yelp._

 _"Ow"! Zola yelped._

 _"It's okay you can lay back down" I told her._

 _"I want uncle Alex. Can you please get uncle Alex for me"? Zola begged with her puppy dog eyes._

 _Damn thoses eyes are so cute. I gave in._

 _"Yes I will see if uncle Alex can sit with you" I told her. Her face brightens. She starts to smile. "Page Alex Karev" I told my intern. It wasn't long before Alex came in here._

 _"Oh my god, Zo you're okay" Alex said in relief._

 _"Uncle Alex"! Zola giggled._

 _"Zo Zo are you okay"? Alex asked Zola in a sweet warming tone._

 _"Uncle Alex it was so scary. One minute we were okay and then the next I was thrown out of car screaming for my life" Zola expresses as tears rolled down her small cut cheeks. Alex's eyes started to glisten with his own tears._

 _"Zo I'm so sorry, but I'm really glad your okay. Come here let me give you a hug Zo Zo" Alex comforted. Zola leaned into Alex and he wrapped his arms around her ._

 _"I love you, uncle Alex" Zola cries._

 _"Hey, Zo Zo don't cry, I love you too Zo" Alex said with a huge smile. She looks up to him and smiles._

 _"Uncle Alex is mommy okay"? Zola asked._

 _"I don't know, Zo Zo. But you have to be strong for your brother and sister okay" He states._

 _"Okay Uncle Alex" Zola mumbles softly._

 _I watch as Zola and Alex fall asleep. He looked relieved. The whole day he was so anguished. He wasn't focused. The thought of not having them must of really scared him. I have noticed since Derek died. He hasn't left her side. Some part on me knew that Alex loved Mer in a different way then he had shown before._

 _Webber's Pov_

 _It's a very traumatic morning. Maggie and Baliey came in earlier. I heard from Alex that says that Zola is alright . We still haven't seen Meredith. It's 10 am. When I got paged. I ran quickly to the E.R. They pull out Meredith. My heart just stops. Meredith is like my second daughter. I know I have made mistakes in my past. But meeting/mentoring Meredith is not one of them. She looked ghostly pale. They take her up to the E.R bed. I examined her injures. I lifted one of her legs. I heard a muffled whine. Meredith starts to open her eyes. She looked freaked out. She started to wrestle with us. She kicked and yelled._

 _"Where's my kids"? Meredith shouted._

 _"They we're taken and put in the rooms. They are okay. Baliey has two broken legs. He has been asking for you. Zola is recovering" I explained in a soothing tone. Her face changed when she heard Zola was okay._

 _"Zola is okay" She said with a small smile._

 _"Yes she is and Alex told me that she is asking for you" I told her._

 _"Page Alex here, please Richard" She asked with her puppy dog eyes._

 _I nod and ask someone to page him. I walk out of the room. Alex raced up here out of breath._

 _"She's fine, She is asking for you" I told as I walk off._

Alex's Pov

After a restless night of sleep. Amelia yells something. I turn my head. Amelia is sitting up her bed.

"Your pager is beeping" Amelia informed.

"Oh thanks for telling me" I thanked her.

"You're welcome" she says with a small smirk.

"Evil Spawnette Amy, why are you smirking at me" I joked. She rolls her eyes.

"It's not just Evil spawn that can smirk" Amelia said smugly as a smirk appeared. I just roll my eyes.

"Whatever, that's so not true" I retorted trying to look iritated. She smiles and laughs. My pager beeped again.

"Alex seriously go back to work. Your pager just beeped again. They must really need you" Amelia mocked but her face turned a bit sad.

"Amy no crying, what did I say earlier today"? I asked

"That it is just a bump in the road" She stated.

"That's right just keep repeating that over and over in your head when you feel down, okay" I instructed.

"Okay" She mumbled.

As I walk out I hear here mumble something under breath. "God why does Alex have to be right" She grumbled. I just smirk to myself as I head to the room I was paged to. I get there, seeing Zola made me feel so much better.

 _"Oh my god, Zo you're okay" I said relieved._

 _"Uncle Alex"! Zo Zo giggled._

 _"Zo Zo are you okay"? I asked Zo Zo in a sweet warming tone._

 _"Uncle Alex it was so scary. One minute we were okay and then the next I was thrown out of car screaming for my life" Zola expresses as tears rolled down her small cut cheeks. I felt my eyes start to glisten with my own tears._

 _"Zo I'm so sorry, but I'm really glad your okay. Come here let me give you a hug Zo Zo" I comforted. Zola leans into Me and I wrapped my arms around her ._

 _"I love you, uncle Alex" Zola cries._

 _"Hey, Zo Zo don't cry, I love you too Zo" I said with a huge smile. She looks up to me and smiles._

 _"Uncle Alex is mommy okay"? Zola asked._

 _"I don't know, Zo Zo. But you have to be strong for your brother and sister okay" I answered._

 _"Okay Uncle Alex" Zola mumbles softly._

 _My arms wrapped around her. She falls as sleep. I start to drift off to sleep too. After a restless nap. I didn't really sleep at all. I was freaking out about the kids. After hearing Bals was okay besides two broken legs. Ellis wasn't hurt at all. Her cries were more of scaredness. It was fearful cries. And now Zo Zo is okay. In my dream, there was huge part of me was still couldn't stop worrying about Mer. Was she okay? Is she alive? The kids can't lose another parent. I would take care of them in a heartbeat. Jo wouldn't be happy. But she will have to deal with it. I'm not sending Mer's kids to foster care. I would never do that. My sleep was interrupted by the sound of a pager. I gingerly sit up trying not to wake up Zola who is right next me._

 _I get out of her bed and go to the room I was paged in. My gut was telling me that they found Mer. But she was dead. My stomach started to turn. The anxiety was eating at me like I was a snack. I ran down the halls like I was being chased by man eating wolves. As the thought was eating me. I began to think more and about it. I felt sweat form on my forehead. I took my head and wiped away. I kept racing down the stairs. I don't even bother with taking the elevator. I'm finally one the floor I was paged to._

 _As I was running Dr. Webber steps outside of the room. I was so out of breath. I started coughing. After I finally catch my breath. Webber finally starts to speak. My heart quickened. I was start to have a panic attack._

"She's fine, She is asking for you" He told me as He walk off.

I ran into the room, I was greeted by Mer smiling at me. I raced of to her bed. After holding in my emotions. I just broke down.

"Mer" I gasped as tears poured out of my raw eyes.

"Alex, I'm okay. The kids are fine. Maggie is going well" she tells me.

"This morning I had a feeling like you always say you have" I confessed as tears continued to stream down my face.

"Oh Alex. It's okay you don't have to act so tough around me. You know that"? Mer asked.

"Yes I know, it's just I couldn't stop worrying about if you were okay" I explained as more tears fall.

"Alex, come here" she called.

I walk over to Mer's bed. She leans in. I wrap my arms around her tightly.

"Alex your crushing me" she warned.

"Oh sorry" I apologize.

It's okay Alex" Mer giggles.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh Alex don't be so serious all the time" Mer joked.

"Don't oh Alex me" I snapped playfully.

"Why do you have to be so evil" Mer retorted with a snooty tone.

"Oh you want evil" I ruthlessly smugly grinned.

"Okay, dirty Uncle Sal" Mer shamelessly mocked.

"Oh your playing that game, Mer. Or how about Dirty mistress" I snarled peacefully.

"You didn't just go there, Manwhore" Mer gulped in shock.

" Fine game on, Evil Spawn" Mer dramatically spat as she smirked evilly.

"Game over, Adulteress whore" I sharply remarked.

"Fine you win, Alex" Mer laughed uncontrollably.

"Yes" I cheered.

Mer laughs as I cheered.

"Why is my person so offensive" She mocked.

"I'm not being offensive" I sharply snapped.

"Chill Alex, I was joking" She snapped back.

"Mer what happened. The car was fine last week and the day of the fire. That day you dove me"? I asked with seriousness in my voice.

"I don't know. It all happened so fast. One minute we were fine. And the next we were flipped upside down" Mer says helplessly as tears trickle down her pink cheeks.

"Mer, I'm so sorry I snapped. I just want to know if this was accident" I calmly spoke.

"Alex really you think I would try to kill myself with the freak kids in car. Use your head Alex"! Mer screamed furiously. Her face turned hot red fumed as she spoke.

"No,no Mer that's not what I meant" I replied alarmed.

"Oh what did you mean"! Mer yelled bitterly.

"I meant was if someone messed with your car" I said with a frown.

"You mean like sabotage"? Mer asked seriously.

"Yes Mer" I replied dreadfully.

"If it was messed with, I will hunt them down" I told enraged. She gave me a disapprove look. "Alex leave it up to the police. Stop trying to be a hero. It's not heroic. It's stupid and you could get in some serious trouble" Mer ordered.

"Fine" I grumbled.

"Just lay with me Alex, please" Mer begged.

"Fine, but just for a little while" I said.


	7. Shattered Hopes

Mer's Pov 

_I opened my eyes. A painful light shines in my eyes. I turn my head and look around the unfamiliar room.i could hear machines beeping. I started to freak out. I start to wrestle with whoever is touching me. I kicked and yelled._

 _"Where's my kids"? I shouted in panic._

 _"They we're taken and put in the rooms. They are okay. Baliey has two broken legs. He has been asking for you. Zola is recovering" Richard explained in a soothing tone. The feeling changed when I heard my little Zo was okay._

 _"Zola is okay" I repeated with a small smile._

 _"Yes she is and Alex told me that she is asking for you" He tells me._

 _"Page Alex here, please Richard" I asked with my puppy dog eyes._

 _He just nods and asks someone to page Alex. He walks out of the room. Instead of coming back in I saw him walk away. Alex rushed in. He had emotional drawn look on his face. He was exhausted. He_ _ran into the room, I greeted him by smiling hugely at him. He raced over to my bed. After racing to my bed, he just breaks down. I watch as tears stream down his face with a sorrow filled look. I still couldn't believe the day I have had._

 _"Mer" He gasped as tears poured out of his raw eyes._

 _"Alex, I'm okay. The kids are fine. Maggie is going well" I explained to Alex in a calm tone._

 _"This morning I had a feeling like you always say you have" He confessed as tears continued to stream down his face._

 _"Oh Alex. It's okay you don't have to act so tough around me. You know that"? I asked._

 _"Yes I know, it's just I couldn't stop worrying about if you were okay" He explained as more tears fall._

 _"Alex, come here" I called._

 _He walks over to my bed. I lean in. He wraps his strong arms around me tightly._

 _"Alex your crushing me" I warned._

 _"Oh sorry" He apologizes._

 _It's okay Alex" I giggle._

 _He rolled his eyes. "Oh Alex don't be so serious all the time" I joked._

 _"Don't oh Alex me" He snapped playfully._

 _"Why do you have to be so evil" I retorted with a snooty tone._

 _"Oh you want evil" He ruthlessly smugly grinned._

 _"Okay, dirty Uncle Sal" I shamelessly mock._

 _"Oh your playing that game, Mer. Or how about Dirty mistress" He snarled peacefully._

 _"You didn't just go there, Manwhore" I gulped in shock._

 _" Fine game on, Evil Spawn" I dramatically spat as I smirked evilly._

 _"Game over, Adulteress whore" He sharply remarked._

 _"Fine you win, Alex" I started laughing uncontrollably._

 _"Yes" He cheered._

 _I laugh as He cheered._

 _"Why is my person so offensive" I mocked._

 _"I'm not being offensive" He sharply snapped._

 _"Chill Alex, I was joking" I snapped back._

 _"Mer what happened. The car was fine last week and the day of the fire. That day you dove me"? He asked with seriousness in my voice._

 _I was caught off guard. Just thinking about it made my palms sweat. I could feel my heart race. I sucked in air and exhaled._

 _"I don't know. It all happened so fast. One minute we were fine. And the next we were flipped upside down" I state helplessly as tears trickle down my pink cheeks._

 _"Mer, I'm so sorry I snapped. I just want to know if this was accident" He calmly spoke._

 _"Alex really you think I would try to kill myself with the freak kids in car. Use your head Alex"! I screamed furiously. I can't believe he even suggest that. I was fuming. It angered me. I know I have a dark and twisty past, but seriously ugh. I stayed silent still infuriated what Alex just said._

 _"No,no Mer that's not what I meant" He repiled alarmed._

 _"Oh what did you mean"! I snapped with a bitter tone._

 _"I meant was if someone messed with your car" he answered frowning._

 _"You mean like sabotage"? I asked seriously._

 _"Yes Mer" He replied dreadfully._

 _"If it was messed with, I will hunt them down" He told me enraged. I gave him a disapproving look. "Alex leave it up to the police. Stop trying to be a hero. It's not heroic. It's stupid and you could get in some serious trouble" I ordered._

 _"Fine" He grumbled._

 _"Just lay with me Alex, please" I begged._

 _"Fine, but just for a little while" He said._

 _Alex lays down next me and we fall asleep._

 _Jo's Pov_

 _I heard Alex get out of the shower. I walked in my closet. I got an outfit. I threw it on. I saw Alex hang up the phone. Alex has been very closed off. Every time I ask him about a case. He just shuts me down. Alex hangs up. I walk over to him._

"Who was what"? I asked curiously.

"Oh that was Maggie asking if she could use my waffle recipe" He told me.

"Oh I thought it was just yours and not to share" I expressed with jealously.

"Maggie asked for Baliey and he really wants my waffles" He explained.

"You always drop everything for those kids and Meredith" I stated. God he never stops dropping me for her. I swear he's in love with her.

" I don't drop everything" He snaps.

"Alex why can't you see. Whatever your doing you drop it as soon as she asks for something" I yelled.

"Jo why do you always start with this"! He grumbled.

"Fine walk away like always Alex"! I yelled lividly.

"I'm not walking away, I have work to go to. I suggest you do the same" He snapped again.

He slams the door and gets in his car. I hear him drive away. I just don't understand why he always has to be there for Meredith. I get she's his person and he's hers. But that doesn't mean spending every living moment with each other. I'm so sick of being 3rd place when it comes to Meredith or her kids. He treats her kids like their his own. Honestly I feel like a third wheel. I feel like I'm just someone who's holding his next girls stop. Until he's ready to finally make a move on Meredith. I know he won't just throw me to the side. It's just i'm so sick of being last thing on his mind. When he lived with her. He spent more time there then with me. I rented a little apartment. It's small, but it's all I can afford. With the little money I have.

My pager goes off and head to work. I get there. It's been a very busy morning. My shift started two hours ago. I still haven't talked to Alex. He's probably with precious Meredith. My pager beeps and head to the E.R. I get there, there's ambulances everywhere. I figured it was just huge trauma. I get called over to a patient. "Who do we got"? I asked. I look down at the women on the gurney. "Meredith, Grey, 39, multiple fractures. She crashed on site. We were able to revive her" The paramedic explained with a soft expression his face. Oh my god. She wasn't with him. We took Meredith straight to the O.R. I examined and cleaned out debris was left over. I'm still not good with burn patients. It's hard watching them in pain. I feel Meredith stir. She starts to kick and scream. Then she starts screaming "where's my kids"!. I didn't know how to answer. I honestly had no idea where they were. I knew Maggie was brought in earlier. I never seen Meredith so hopeless in all my years working here.

After she calms down. Dr. Webber tells her that Zola is asking for her. It was honestly heartbreaking to see Meredith so confused. It was almost like she lost her spirit. I decided to give Meredith some privacy. I know Meredith doesn't like me. And I honestly don't really care for her myself. Alex is always catering to her. It's very annoying that she gets all of his attention. I constantly have to compete with her. It's like she has him wrapped around her fingers. And it's not like he doesn't care. He knows that she needs him. And I get that, it's just very frustrating to have to compete to spend time with my boyfriend. He's my boyfriend and I can't even spend time with him whenever I want.

Baliey needed help with a case. It was Baliey, he looked pretty much cleaned. I cleaned the debris out of his broken legs. He started to fall asleep. "Wilson can you get some supplies for me"? Dr. Baliey asked. "Yes, Doctor Baliey" I answered.

I head to the supply closet. As I was walking Alex and Meredith are laughing about whatever the hell is so funny. I heard Alex say. " _Mer, I'm so sorry I snapped. I just want to know if this was accident" He calmly spoke._

 _"Alex really you think I would try to kill myself with the freak kids in car. Use your head Alex"! She screamed furiously._

 _"No,no Mer that's not what I meant" He repiled alarmed._

 _"Oh what did you mean"! She snapped with a bitter tone._

 _"I meant was if someone messed with your car" he answered frowning._

 _"You mean like sabotage"? Meredithasked seriously._

 _"Yes Mer" He replied dreadfully._

 _"If it was messed with, I will hunt them down" He told her enraged. She gave him a disapproving look. "Alex leave it up to the police. Stop trying to be a hero. It's not heroic. It's stupid and you could get in some serious trouble" She ordered._

 _"Fine" He grumbled._

 _"Just lay with me Alex, please" She begged._

 _"Fine, but just for a little while" He said._

 _Alex lays down next Meredith and they fell asleep. I couldn't believe Alex even asked that. I know he's just worried. But who says that to someone who was just in a terrifying car accident. I know Meredith it's my favorite person, that doesn't mean I don't feel bad for her. I had enough of watching Alex cuddle with her. It was sickening to watch. I stormed out of the hall. I quickly grab the supplies from closet. I quickly head back to Dr. Baliey. When I get there, someone who looked very familiar was talking to Baliey. As I got closer I could hear the conversation._

 _"Oh my god, is Meredith okay" She said._

 _"Yes,Cristina, she's okay" Dr Baliey told her._

 _"I was just at the airport and I heard on the news. I raced over here" She stated as tears rolled down her face._

 _"Why were you at the airport"? I asked Dr. yang._

 _"Alex called me telling me that she was not doing well hearing about Owen's wife having a brain tumor" She replied._

 _"Of course Alex always does what Meredith needs" I grumbled to myself._

 _"Alex is actually with her right, now" I told her trying to hide my jealously._

 _"Baliey, here's your supplies" I told her as I hand her them._

 _"Oh thank you" Cristina thanked me, before heading her way to Meredith's room._

 _Baliey turns toward me. "What the hell was that about"! She demanded. I was shocked when she started yelling._

 _"It was nothing, Dr Baliey" I said nonchalantly._

 _"Oh it better be nothing, because you don't disregard patients. I don't know what's going on with you, but fix it or your fired"! Baliey threatened as she stormed away with a handful of supplies._

 _I just stand there, thinking about what just happened. Did I actually snap at a patient. Not just a patient, but Meredith's person. Whatever the hell that means. I still don't get it since I met Medusa. It's her nickname I came up with my intern year. It's going to be a long day._

 _Cris's Pov_

 _I get a random call as I got off of work. I figured it was Mer. I was surprised when I hear a voice I haven't heard since I spoke to them when Mer disappeared for a year._

 _"Hello"? I answered._

 _"Hey" He replied._

 _"Alex"? I asked._

 _"Yes, it is evil spawn" He replied cockily._

 _"Why are you calling? Did you lose my money. Cause if you did, I don't have any to give you" I stated sharply._

 _"No it's Mer, she needs you" He informed._

 _"What did you do to her"! I demanded._

 _"I didn't do anything,one of Derek's sisters has a brain tumor, and Mer's taking it really hard" He tells me._

 _"Oh my god, I will be on the next flight out" I stated._

 _"Okay, I will pick you up when you land" He replies._

 _I hang up. I purchased a ticket for the next flight to Seattle. I frantically pack my suitecase. I call a cab. They pick me up. They drove me to the airport. I practically sprint out of the cab. I take a sit on the plane. I spent most of my flight thinking about the plane crash and worrying about what's going on back home. Yes Seattle is my home, I was there for ten years. Intern year to attending. After a 12 hour flight. I was really jetlegged. I get off my plane. I called alex. It went straight to voicemail. You got to be kidding me. You said you were going pick me up._

 _A crowed people stood in front of the tv in the waiting room. I push my way through the crowed. There was a news headline saying. On fifth of oak there was a car accident. Someone grabbed the remote and turned up the volume. "Another car saw them, she said that she could see three kids in the back seat. Two women in their mid thirtes" the reporter stated. Another first responder came up. "Someone called in that they saw a bunch of smoke and minutes later they heard a huge explosion. Me and my team got there" She told the news reporter._

 _I saw a car that I recognized. That was now in flames. Oh my god that's Mer's car. I didn't even notice, I had tears running down my cheeks as I grabbed my suitecase. I haled a cab over._

 _I hopped in, I told them to go Grey Sloan. The cab stopped at the entrance. I pulled out some money and left the cab. I walked inside the doors. I looked around for someone I knew. I still didn't see anybody I knew. I walked down the halls slowly, not wanting to look odd. I turn down the hall. I saw Baliey at the nurses desk. "Baliey" I shouted to get her attention. She looks up at me. "Cristina" She said softly. I ran up to her. With open arms she welcomes me. I embraced the hug. I left the tears fall._

 _"Oh Cristina, she's okay" She tells me in a comforting way. I wipe my eyes. I straighten up and let go of Baliey. "Mer's Okay"? I asked. "Yes she is, the police are investigating what happened to cause the accident. "Who the hell would do that. They will pay"I threatened as I gridded my teeth. "I know Cristina. They will find out and punish whoever did it" She said calmly._ _"I was just at the airport and I heard on the news. I raced over here" I stated as tears rolled down my face._

 _"Why were you at the airport"? Jo asked Dr. yang._

It was jo. I never really liked her. She's really childish. She honestly has Alex. Mer told me that she boned a sub intern. She also told me that she did the same thing with George. It was werid hearing about Bambi. I would never admit this out loud but I really miss.

 _"Alex called me telling me that she was not doing well hearing about Owen's wife having a brain tumor" I replied._

 _"Alex is actually with her right, now" she told me failing to hide her jealously._

 _"Baliey, here's your supplies" She told her as She handed her them._

 _"Oh thank you" I thanked her, before heading to Meredith's room._

 _I walk down the halls. I turn down the hall. When I got there I saw Mer and Alex with arms wrapped around each other. They really did look like a married couple. I had enough of the married couple business._

 _"Mer, when did you start acting like those pda couples" I said in disgust._

 _She opens her eyes. She rubs her eyes again._

 _"Cristina" Mer said shocked._

 _"What are you doing here"? She asked._

 _"Alex called me and told me that Owen's wife has a tumor and you weren't taking the news well" I told her._

 _"Yeah" She sighed._

 _"Mer is there something going on with you and Alex"? I asked curiously._

 _"No, why do you think that"? She asked._

 _"Mer I have been gone for 4 years. I know you guys got closer. Jo is jealous of you. I think she even hates you" I told her._

 _"There's nothing for her to worry about. Me and Alex have gotten closer. That doesn't mean I'm falling for him or he loves me. He's just my person" Mer explained. I still didn't believe her. But I dropped the subject and asked something serious._

 _"Mer I don't think it was accident. Baliey told me that the police are investigating why happened" I told her with teary eyes._

 _"Cris, I don't know so much happened. Alex told me everything was fine when I drove to work yesterday. Alex thinks someone messed with my car" Mer explains as tears fall on her bruised cheeks._

 _I stand up from the chair I was seating in. I lean into Mer with my arms. I wrapped them around her. I whispered in her ear._

 _"You will get through this Mer, your Meredith Grey" I smiled._

 _"Yes I am Meredith Grey and I'm the sun" Mer giggled._

 _Mer giggled loudly. Alex started to stir in his sleep. He opens his eyes._

 _"Cristina what are you doing here. Oh crap I was supposed to pick you up" He sighed._

 _"It's okay, evil spawn. I called your phone. It went straight to voicemail. And then I saw the news and I rushed down here" I explained to groggily Alex._

 _"Guys I'm hungry, can you get me something to eat"? Mer asked._

 _"Yes what would you like"? Alex asked._

 _"Maybe just a cheese pizza with sausage" Mer replied._

 _"I will come with you Alex" I state._

 _"Okay" Alex said nervously._

 _We leave the room. We were half way down the hall. I decided to ask Alex a question._

 _"Alex, is there something you haven't told me"? I questioned._

 _Alex looks at me confused._

 _"What are you talking about"? Alex asked in confusion._

 _" what I mean is, do you like Meredith more than a friend should"? I asked again._

 _Alex looks at me like he was hit with deer lights._

 _"No I don't. I love Meredith of course, but not like that" Alex stated._

 _"Really, cause cuddling is a couple thing" I assured._

 _"Come on, Cristina can you drop this already"? Alex snapped._

 _"Sorry, evil spawn" I remarked._

 _He just orders Mer's pizzia. I know he likes Mer in a different way then he use to. I just think he hadn't noticed yet.i decide not to bring up the question again. After he gets her food. We head back to her room. We get there Mer's in tears. Alex rushs to her side. I stand next to Alex with the same look on my face._

 _"Mer what's wrong"? Alex asked worriedly._

 _Mer hands him a note. It said this_

 _"Hello, I guess you enjoyed my present. Don't worry more is to come". Signed person you fear. Alex throws the letter in the trash. I grab the letter and unfolded. I put in my purse._

 _"Oh my god. Someone has been stalking you" I said horrified._

 _"When I find out who this, I'm going to kill them"! Alex grumbled._

 _"We will find this person. And put that bastard in jail for doing this, okay" I express with a frown._

 _Mer just nods. My heart broke for her. She almost lost her kids and her life. I leaned to Mer and Alex does the same. We hugged for a while. We didn't care who saw. I was going to protect mer at all costs. And Alex was ready to kill who ever did this. As we hug tears stream down our faces. Neither of us bothers to wipe them away. Sometimes you just need to cry._


	8. Crash & Burn

Mer's Pov

 _I heard a strange but familiar voice. I slowly open my eyes. I was shocked who I saw. I rubbed my eyes one more time to confirm that I wasn't seeing a ghost._

 _"Cristina" I said shocked._

 _"What are you doing here"? I asked still shocked._

 _"Alex called me and told me that Owen's wife has a tumor and you weren't taking the news well" She told me._

 _"Yeah" I sighed. The news was to fresh in my mind._

 _"Mer is there something going on with you and Alex"? She asked curiously._

 _"No, why do you think that"? I asked._

 _"Mer I have been gone for 4 years. I know you guys got closer. Jo is jealous of you. I think she even hates you" She told me._

 _"There's nothing for her to worry about. Me and Alex have gotten closer. That doesn't mean I'm falling for him or he loves me. He's just my person" I explained. Why can't she get that. When two people hang out a lot, doesn't mean we love each other. Of course we love each other, but not in that way. That's crazy he's like my brother. Like incest isn't my thing._

 _"Mer I don't think it was accident. Baliey told me that the police are investigating why it happened" she explained with teary eyes._

 _"Cris, I don't know so much happened. Alex told me everything was fine when I drove to work yesterday. Alex thinks someone messed with my car" I explain as tears fall on my bruised cheeks._

 _She stood up from the chair She was seating in. Cris leans into me with her arms. She wrapped them around me. She whispered in my ear._

 _"You will get through this Mer, your Meredith Grey" She smiled._

 _"Yes I am Meredith Grey and I'm the sun" I giggled._

 _I guess I giggled too loudly. Alex started to stir in his sleep. He opens his eyes._

 _"Cristina what are you doing here. Oh crap I was supposed to pick you up" He sighed._

 _"It's okay, evil spawn. I called your phone. It went straight to voicemail. And then I saw the news and I rushed down here" She explained to groggy Alex._

 _"Guys I'm hungry, can you get me something to eat"? I asked._

 _"Yes what would you like"? Alex asked._

 _"Maybe just a cheese pizza with sausage" I replied._

 _"I will come with you Alex" She states. I thought was werid. It was probably to check in._

 _"Okay" Alex said nervously._

 _They left the room. Some nurse knocks on the door. I tell her to come in. She checks my blood pressure and brought me a tray of food._

 _"My friends are getting me something from the kitchen" I told the nurse._

 _"Someone told me to bring this to you" she encouraged me. She pulls the tray with food over to my bed. I sit up slowly. The nurse left the room. I thought it was werid I never seen her before. I opened the cover. I spotted a paper I pick it up. It had red specs. I opened the letter and read it. It said._

 _"Hello, I guess you enjoyed my present. Don't worry more is to come". Signed person you fear. But on the back it said. "It wasn't accident you dumb bitch. And you got away, you will pay for the trouble you caused. This side is just for you. If you say anything about the back of this. I will slit your throat open and watch you die a horribly painful slow death. So if you don't want me to do that keep your mouth shut you stupid slut" signed your special lover._

 _I threw the note quickly. Tears were soaking my face. My breathing quickened. I could hear Alex and Cris coming back. I tried to wipe my tears. But Alex saw. God why does he have to know me so well._

 _Alex rushed to my side. Cris stood next to Alex with the same look on her face._

 _"Mer what's wrong"? Alex asked worriedly._

 _I handed him the note. It said this_

 _Alex throws the letter in the trash. I saw Cris grabbed the letter and unfolded. She put in her purse._

 _"Oh my god"! Someone has been stalking you" Cristina said horrified._

 _"When I find out who this, I'm going to kill them"! Alex grumbled._

 _"We will find this person. And put that bastard in jail for doing this, okay" She expresses with a frown._

 _I just nodd. Cris leaned into Me and Alex does the same. We hugged for a while. We didn't care who saw. As we hugged tears stream down our faces. Neither of us bothers to wipe them away. Sometimes you just need to cry._

 _Alex pulled out of the hug and wiped his eyes. Then he storms out of the room. I kept thinking of telling them about the other side of the letter. But I don't want to die. I have no idea when this started. Cris had to leave. I laid there in fear every time a nurse came into my room. Everyone is probably gossiping about me._

 _Nathan came to visit me. He told me how sorry he was. I started not to trust people. Even the people I knew would protect me at all costs, I didn't trust anymore. Alex is one of them. I know he would never hurt me. He looked engaged when he threw the letter. Im just scared. Scared enough that I don't feel save in this hospital room. It's like making feel anxious. And I can't tell anybody or I'm dead. It's gnawing at me. I'm terrified all the time._

 _Later that night..._

 _It was finally able to stop thinking about the letter. As I was closing my eyes. I heard the door creak. I started panic. I hear my heart thumping in my chest. The door squeaked as it was pushed open. I flung the blanket over me. I could hear the loud foot steps get louder. I stayed until quieter then a mouse. I didn't move a muscle. I acted calm on the outside. But on the inside I was shaken. I started to shake. The foot steps get quietier as the moved closer to the door. The door creaked open and shut abruptly, but also softly._

 _After I knew who ever it was gone. I peeked my eyes out of the blanket. The room was pitch black but I could see the light of the halls. I tossed the blanket and silently cried. I don't know how I'm going to sleep now. Every time I tried to close my eyes. I panicked and threw them open. It's going be a long night. "A little scared doesn't mean your broken" I whispered to myself. I was finally able to shut my eyes._


	9. Hopeless

Alex's Pov

I wake up to the sound of loud giggling and laughing. I opened my eyes. And I see Cristina. Oh shit I forgot to pick her up. After everything happened, it slipped my mind.

"Cristina what are you doing here. Oh crap I was supposed to pick you up" I sighed.

"It's okay, evil spawn. I called your phone. It went straight to voicemail. And then I saw the news and I rushed down here" she explained to me.

"Guys I'm hungry, can you get me something to eat"? Mer asked.

"Yes what would you like"? I asked.

"Maybe just a cheese pizza with sausage" Mer replied.

"I will come with you Alex" Cris states. I was confused but I went along with it.

"Okay" I said nervously.

We leave the room. We were half way down the hall. And Cris asks me.

"Alex, is there something you haven't told me"? She questioned.

I look at her confused.

"What are you talking about"? I asked in confusion.

" what I mean is, do you like Meredith more than a friend should"? She asked again.

I gave her a look.

"No I don't. I love Meredith of course, but not like that" I stated.

"Really, cause cuddling is a couple thing" She assured.

"Come on, Cristina can you drop this already"? I snapped.

"Sorry, evil spawn" She remarked. She dropped the question as we had to the kitchen.

I just ordered Mer's pizzia. After I get Mer her food. We head back to her room. We get there Mer's in tears. I rushed to her side. Cris stand next to me with the same look on her face.

"Mer what's wrong"? I asked worriedly.

Mer hands me a note. It said this

"Hello, I guess you enjoyed my present. Don't worry more is to come". Signed person you fear. I threw the letter in the trash. Cristina grabs the letter and unfolded. She put in her purse.

"Oh my god"! Someone has been stalking you" She said horrified.

"When I find out who this, I'm going to kill them"! I grumbled. There was so much anger in me. I felt like I was going to explode.

"We will find this person. And put that bastard in jail for doing this, okay" She expressed with a frown.

Mer just nods. Cristina leaned into Mer and I did the same. We hugged for a while. We didn't care who saw. I will protect Mer, even I have to kill. I don't fuck around with threats. As we hug tears stream down our faces. Neither of us bothers to wipe them away. I pulled out of the hug and wiped my eyes angrily. Then I stormed out of the room. I was so angry. Like what kind of sicko would torture someone like this. It was infuriating. Reading those sickening words. The way it said there's more to come.

Two weeks later

Mer was finally released from the hospital. Every time someone who enter the room. She would flich and hide. I knew something was going on. Mer has been off. She isn't her normal sarcastic self. Her bitter irony wasn't the same. It was like the Meredith I knew and loved disappeared. And was taken over by a ghost. Cris had to go back to Zurich. She said she will be back as soon as she can.

Eventually complete shut me out. She stopped talking me. There was a pain in my heart when she stopped talking to me. I couldn't explain the feeling I was having. It felt like a part of me disappeared. I decided to give Mer some space. I stopped checking on her. Even my mood started to change. I was blunt like I use to be. My attitude was hard to control. People started to get frustrated with me. Me and Jo started make up. But it was still tense everytime I mention Mer. She gets all snappy and goes off. After that we don't talk for awhile. Then we make up. It's like a cycle or something.

Jo's pov

It's been two weeks since our fight. Alex was around more. I guess Meredith is shutting people out. Honestly I'm worried about her. Alex has been moody and hard to be around. When I see Meredith at the hospital she looks like a ghost. She just does her work and rarely smiles. It's very concerning. I'm use to Meredith trying to steal Alex away. It's kind of werid having Alex home. Not that I'm complaining. I bumped into Meredith as I scrubbed out. "Woah sorry" I said.

"Not it was my fault" she said lifelessly. She turns the corner. As she turns I could see that she was crying.

"Meredith are you okay"? I asked concerned.

"Not really" She muttered.

"Do you want to talk about it"? I asked.

"Not here" She said as she grabbed my arm and pulled me into the nearest on-call room.

We get into the on-call room. When she pulls out s note and hands it to me. I begin to read it. It said.

"Hello, I guess you enjoyed my present. Don't worry more is to come". Signed person you fear. I flipped it over and it said. "It wasn't accident you dumb bitch. And you got away, you will pay for the trouble you caused. This side is just for you. If you say anything about the back of this. I will slit your throat open and watch you die a horribly painful slow death. So if you don't want me to do that keep your mouth shut you stupid slut" signed your special lover. Oh my god. As I read it I felt sick to my stomach. It reminded me of my husband. Tears fell from my eyes. I looked over to Meredith. She looked so fragile.

"Oh my god! Does anybody know about this"? I asked shocked.

"Alex and Cristina only know about the front" Meredith said miserably.

"Meredith you can't hide this stuff from people who love you. It's not healthy" I explained sympathically.

"That's not only thing that happened" she stated.

"Meredith" I exasperated.

She breathes in and exhaled before speaking again.

"That night, I was trying to sleep. When I heard someone in my room. I was terrified and your the first person I have told. That's why I have been so distant. I'm scared for my life. And since I told someone. I'm probably going to die tonight" she explained with a look of dispair.

I knew what it was to being terrified every day.

"Meredith I know Alex told you I was married. But there's a reason I left. He use to hit me and I finally had enough. I changed my name and left. I live in fear that he will find me, everyday" I finally told someone. It felt good to let it all out. We hear a pager beep. She looks down at her pager.

"Sorry I got to go, thank you very much for making me feel better" she thanked me with a smile and closed the door behind her.

A part of me was so worrying about her. This person was watching her every move. I feeling kept gnawing at me. I raced out of the on-call room as fast I can. I asked someone where she went. They told me. I head that way. When I got there she was already gone. But was werid was that I noticed something odd. I wasn't sure what is was. I picked it up. It was a post it. I opened the folded post it. It said nothing. I put it in my pocket and head back inside. But some part of me couldn't shake the feeling. It was a stomach wrenching feeling. But before I could react, I got paged. Ugh really it's probably an intern needing help starting a Central line.


	10. Paralyzed

Mer's pov

It's been two weeks since I got the letter and that night of terror. I stopped talking to everybody. Every day I get a new threat. I don't telling anyone about it. The first letter told me if I did who ever caused the accident was going to kill me. The worst part is that I stopped talking to Alex. I had to protect them at all costs. Yesterday I got a new letter. It said.

"So since you have been a good bitch. I'm giving a day off. But if you tell anyone about or deal you dumb whore. They will watch you die in chains" signed your special lover. I ran straight to the bathroom. It start to puke. Even thinking about made me throw up more.

After I finished throwing up. I stuffed the letter in my pillow case with the other 14. One for everyday for two weeks. The stalker always signs it with signed your special lover. I head to the hospital. As I turned the hall I bumped into Jo.

"Woah sorry" she said.

"No it was my fault" I said lifelessly.

"Meredith are you okay"? She asked concerned.

"Not really" I muttered. Afraid the stalker had a spy.

"Do you want to talk about it"? She asks.

"Not here" I said as I grabbed her arm and pulled her into the nearest on-call room.

We get into the on-call room. When I pull out a note and hand it to her . She begins to read it.

As she reads it I could see tears in her eyes. She looked over to me.

"Oh my god! Does anybody know about this"? She asked shocked.

"Alex and Cristina only know about the front" I said miserably.

"Meredith you can't hide this stuff from people who love you. It's not healthy" She explained sympathically.

"That's not only thing that happened" I stated.

"Meredith" She exasperated.

I breath in and exhale before speaking again.

"That night, I was trying to sleep. When I heard someone in my room. I was terrified and your the first person I have told. That's why I have been so distant. I'm scared for my life. And since I told someone. I'm probably going to die tonight" I explained with a look of dispair.

"Meredith I know Alex told you I was married. But there's a reason I left. He use to hit me and I finally had enough. I changed my name and left. I live in fear that he will find me, everyday" she confessed. We hear a pager beep. I look down at my pager.

"Sorry I got to go, thank you very much for making me feel better" I thanked her with a smile and closed the door behind me.

After I walk out and head to where I was paged. I get there. There were no ambulances out. No staff. I start to get freaked out. As I turn to walk a way. I didn't seen some come from behind. I felt arms wrap around my neck. Someone squeezed their arms tighter around my neck. Leaving me trying to pry lose. I tried to kick but I heard someone else pull a blind fold over my eyes. I couldn't see. I was petrified. It was like I was paralyzed. I couldn't move. I struggled to escape. I kicked the person. They groan and slapped me. This time I tried to scream for help. I kept hopping someone would come out. They taped my mouth shut. I tried to scream again and I kicked repeatedly. Someone picked me up and threw me into something. I heard the trunk slam shut. They start the car and speed off. I realized I still had my phone. I quickly pulled it out. With my untied arm I pulled the blind fold off. I tried to text Alex. With my shaken hands. I begin to type.

To Alex: Alex I knooow I haven't beeen speaking to you. But aleeexxxx.Iiiii neeeed youuuuuu. right now I really neeeed your hehdhejdbhdjfb."

I wasn't able to finish up. I heard heavy foot steps get closer to trunk of the car. With my shaky hands I tried to hit send. The trunk top opened. The two very strong guys wrestle for my phone. One hit me. I pulled back and kicked the guy hard. I press send. The other guy snatches the phone out of my hands and slammed it on the ground. It smashed in pieces. The two men picked me up and threw me down on the stone pavement. I screamed in pain.

"This is what you get for telling" He yelled hatefully as the venom of his words hit me.

Tears streamed down my face uncontrollably.

"Oh your not so strong are you" The guy mocked with a grin.

I stayed silent. I missed Alex and my kids.

"So Meredith Grey, my name is Paul Stadler" Paul voiced cold-hearted.

"What do you want for me"? I asked weakly.

"I want you tell me where Brooke is or your dead" He threatened hostilely.

His voice was full of poison. I didn't know who Brooke was. Oh my god this is Jo's abusive husband.

"I don't know a Brooke" I lied.

"Don't you dare lie to me" He yelled in a repugnant tone.

I was so scared for my life. I couldn't even look Paul in the cold eyes. He starts to go ballistic. He grabbed my hair forcefully. "You better start talking before I go find her myself" Paul threatened with a wicked smile.

"I don't know" I lied again.

I get ready for him to hit me. This time he lifts me up by my hair and drops me. I crashed down. I screamed in pain. "Shut the fuck up, bitch" He snapped venom-lessly He grabs me and shoved me against the wall forcefully. Then he takes me by my feet. He throws me into a cell. It slams behind me. I turned around holding in moans. I was in terrible pain. Paul and the other guy laughed and slammed the door behind them.

I just burst into tears. I had nothing. I was still wearing my dark navy blue scrubs. Which had blood and shreds in them. I tried to stand up, instead of standing. My still hurt leg buckled and slammed down on the stone cold ground. It was freezing in the cell. All I wanted was Alex's strong arms protecting me. All I wanted in general was Alex. I missed him so badly. I hoped he got my text. I hope Jo stays safe. I was worried about her. After a long fight. I was exhausted. I shut my eyes and begin to dream about being at home in my comfy bed with Alex's arms wrapped around me.

Oh god. I just realized that I'm in love with Alex. Why do I always notice at horrible times. Hopefully they realize soon. "I love you Alex" I whispered to myself.


	11. Where’s Mer?

_Alex's pov_

 _I haven't seen Meredith anywhere. I get a text from Meredith. I just think she called in. It said Alex I knooow I haven't beeen speaking to you. But aleeexxxx.Iiiii neeeed youuuuuu. right now I really neeeed your hehdhejdbhdjfb. Now she's bothers to talk to me. As I was walking Maggie came up to me._

 _"Have you seen Mer, I asked everyone and they haven't seen her" Maggie told me panicked._

 _"No I haven't, we haven't been talking" I replied._

 _"Okay Alex, I know your upset with her. Get your head of your ass and help look for her" Maggie grumbled._

 _I storm away angerily. It's been a very stressful couple weeks. With a mind full of thought. I don't even notice Jo run into me._

 _"Alex have you seen Meredith. I haven't seen her since I told her earlier"? Jo asked._

 _"You talked her"? I questioned._

 _"Yes, Alex now help me find her and I have something horrifying to tell you" She stated._

 _After hearing the words horrorifying. I look up at her. She hands me a note and told me to flip it over._

 _It said. "Hello, I guess you enjoyed my present. Don't worry more is to come". Signed person you fear. It continued "It wasn't accident you dumb bitch. And you got away, you will pay for the trouble you caused. This side is just for you. If you say anything about the back of this. I will slit your throat open and watch you die a horribly painful slow death. So if you don't want me to do that keep your mouth shut you stupid slut" signed your special lover._

 _After I finished reading I was speechless. My stomach hurts. Tears that were in my eyes falling instantly. I wiped the left over tears away and shut the letter._

 _"Oh my god! We need to find Mer" I cried out._

 _"Alex maybe we should check her room" she suggested._

 _I agreed and we head over to Mer's. I used my spare key and raced around the house. There was no sign of her. I go to her room. She wasn't there. I checked the closet not there either. I start to worry. Jo comes up to me. I land on the bed with a plop. Jo noticed a bunch of folded paper fall out. She hands me the pile._

 _I carefully unfold the paper. I read it and the next. The last one was marked yesterday._ _10/5 was the date._ _There was a total of 14 letters. She got the last one yesterday. Jo told me she saw Mer with raw eyes like she had been crying. Now it made sense. Being distant and shutting herself down. She was scared and couldn't tell me. I opened the last one. I was ready for more torture._

 _"So since you have been a good bitch. I'm giving a day off. But if you tell anyone about or deal you dumb whore. They will watch you die in chains" signed your special lover. I threw down the paper. I was anguished. I had no idea where she was. I raced back to the hospital. Jo said the nurse said she was last seen at the ambulance pick up. I decided to ask Baliey if we could look at the security footage._

 _"Baliey, I looked everywhere. Jo told me that nurse said that by the ambulance drop off is. Mer was last seen. I'm freaked out, Miranda" I begged as tears raced down my cheeks._

 _"Yes Alex you can see the security footage" Baliey replied._

 _We head to her office. We watched the security footage. As I was watching I saw Mer._

 _She was waiting for ambulance what looks like. As She turns to walk a way. Arms wrapped around her neck. It looks like she tried pryed lose. She tried to kick but someone else pull a blind fold over her eyes. Mer struggled to escape. She kicked the guy. They groan and slapped her. As I watch this I feel my eyes starting to tear up. This time She tried to scream for help. They taped her mouth shut. Someone picked her up and threw Mer into the trunk. They start the car and sped off. That was the end of footage. I wiped my eyes. Jo and Baliey does the same thing. I pulled out my phone and reread her text. She meant help. I don't even know if she's alive or not._

 _" oh my god, I'm such a horrible friend. I Ignored her text for help cause I was mad" I cried._

 _"Alex you can't blame yourself. You were hurt and that's how anybody would of reacted" Baliey assured me._

 _" I know, why do I feel so guilty"? I asked weakly._

 _"I don't know Alex, we better call the police" Baliey said._

 _"Yes" I said still powerless._

 _Baliey calls 911. They come and ask some questions. I couldn't take it anymore. I decided to visit Amelia. I get there. I tried my best to act like nothing was wrong. But somehow Amy show right through the act._

 _"Alex what's wrong"? Amy said panicked. The tears just fell from my eyes. I weakly tried to explain._

 _"Mer was kidnapped" I cried._

 _"What"! Amy shouted._

 _I just break down._

 _"Alex , just breathe" Amy says soothingly._

 _I start to cry harder. I was anxious. I want Meredith so badly._

 _"You love her, don't you" she questioned._

 _I didn't respond. I just kept crying. Then it clicked. Me feeling heartbroken when Meredith stopped talking to me. I love her, and not just a friend/brother way. More like a soulmate kind of way._

 _"I guess Jo was right and so is Cristina"I answered back._

 _Admitting that Cristina was right was hard to do. Now I have tell her she was right. Ugh this going to be torture. I dialed her number. I was trembling. Her voice it was sounded so happy. It broke my heart to have tell her what I need to._

"Hey, Cris" I said drained.

 _"Alex, is everything okay, you sound really shaken up"? she asked concernly._

 _As I was talking to her I tried to blink by the tears. But they continued to fall._

 _"Alex, is everything okay"? She asked again frantically. I breathed in. I took a deep breath and exhaled harshly._

 _"Cristina have some devastating news to tell you"I told her trying not to chock on my own tears._

 _I heard her gulp. She took a big breath before relying._

 _"Alex what's happened"? She asked nervously._

 _"Mer was kidnapped, we think it's her stalker" I confessed as I chocked on my tears._

 _Cristina stays quiet. In the background I could her crying. It was heartbreaking. Earth shattering cries. I have always hated watching or hearing women cry. I didn't hear her say anything._

 _"Cristina, are you okay"? I asked._

 _"Yeeess, I'm okaaay" Cristina answers with a shaky voice._

 _"Cris do you want me to fly out there to pick you up"? I offered._

 _She clears her throat. "No,no I can get back to Seattle" She states._

 _"Okay" I said unsure what to say._

 _"I will see you when I land, this time don't forget to pick me up"Cris states still shaken._

 _"I won't, see you when you land" I replied before hanging up._

 _After I hang up, I just sit there in silence. I started to think of Mer again. All I wanted was to find her and hold her in my arms. While protecting her. This feeling was still fresh. I start to shut my eyes._

 _The next day_

 _There was still no word on Mer. Even though it feels like weeks, it's only been a day. And I was missing her like crazy. My phone started ringing. I pick up the phone._

 _"Hello" I said._

 _"Alex I landed, can you pick me up"? She asked._

 _"Yes,I'm on my way" I replied. She hangs up._

 _I leave the house. I was at Mer's because Maggie still couldn't take care of the kids by herself. As I was driving. I kept thinking about Meredith. Lately I haven't been able to stop. It's over powering. I wish I could just tell her. This is a never ending nightmare. I pull up to the airport. Cris gets in the car and sits in passenger seat. I put the car in drive._

 _After 20 minutes of complete dead silence. I could hear little cries. I look over and see Cristina in tears. I pull the car over. Cristina notices the car has stopped. She looks over at me with her desperate pleading eyes. I move closer to her and wrap my arms around her. She leans her head over my shoulders. She continues to cry. Her tears kept falling. After 3 more minutes in dead silence she finally lifts her head from my shoulder. Which was now soaked with her salty tears. She looks up. Her eyes were bloodshot and red. She doesn't even bother wiping them away. I took my two fingers and gently wiped the falling tears away. She smiled a little bit. It was a small one, but it was more pleading. She clears her throat._

 _"Alex, thanks for letting me cry I really need it" she said with a small smile._

 _"Your welcome, I will always be here when you need me" I smiled softly back._

 _I put the car back in drive and we head to Grey Sloan. We were greeted by Jackson, April, Baliey, Webber, Owen and Amelia in her wheel chair. I was pulled into a group hug. Cris looked like happier. She actually hugged Amelia. I was surprised along with Owen. Amelia had tears in her eyes. Owen gave her paper bag to breath into. She eventually calmed down._

 _It was time go pick up the kids. Cristina and I hugged everyone goodbye. We were both pulled into the group hug again. This time the group hug was filled with tears. Jackson, Webber and Owen cried too. I was all out of tears. We pulled apart. I waved goodbye. I picked up the kids. Zola runs up to me. Baliey keeps asking about Meredith. I have no idea what to say to them. Maggie hands me Ellis. Ellis giggles when I tickle her tummy. Cris laughs at me._

 _"If your going to laugh, why don't you play with her" I snapped playfully._

 _"Maybe Fine I will" she laughed._

 _She grabs Ellis in her arms. Ellis is two years old now._

 _"Dada" Ellis giggles._

 _My face turns white. She's never called me that before. Cristina notices the look of shock on my face. She comes by me._

 _"Alex, it's okay, your the only father figure she knows. Your not replacing Derek. And I can tell you truly love these kids like their your own" Cristina said in a sensitive tone._

 _"So I have to tell you something that is hard to admit. You were right. I'm in love with Meredith. I don't know how long, I have had these feelings about her" I regretfully said._

 _I saw a huge smile brighten up her face. It quickly turns into a smirk._

 _"I knew it, evil spawn you finally passed my test. I'm retiring evil spawn nickname. You have no idea how happy this makes me" Cris expresses with a huge smile._

 _"I think I have some idea" I groaned regretting telling her._

 _"No you don't. Alex I have known for a while now that you have loved her. I just never brought it up. Alex, Derek's gone. He can't come back. I know that Mer loves you too. She just scared to finally let go of Derek. He made Meredith bright and shiny. Even how much I didn't like it. I was happy, she was happy. Now she's dark and her old self before she met him. But you bring the bright and shiny out of her too. I never seen her so happy, when she's with you. You make her smile more ways her I thought was possible. So don't give up, Alex. Fight for her. You tell her. Jackson told me what Mark said to him before he died. That's why he told April at her wedding. Don't you want to have her and her have your children. Even if it's not my fantasy. Go be happy. Your not happy with Jo. You act like you are. But your not. I can see you are just dying in this relationship with Jo. Personally I never liked her" Cristina encourages._

 _" what if we never find her or when we do find her, she dead"? I cried._

 _"Alex, don't think like that, stay strong" She replied._

 _I start break down. Cristina throws her arms around me and pats me softly. I start to cry harder. Everything was rushing at me. I was so emotionally exhausted. That night I cried myself to sleep. Why can't I have a happy life? I have had a tough life since I was 6. Cristina lays next me and falls asleep also._


	12. Emotions On Overdrive

Cris's Pov

I had to leave two weeks ago. I just scrubbed out of a ground breaking surgery. I was so proud of myself. I have working on this all year long. As I grabbed my stuff. I decided to grab a drink at the bar. As I was about to start my car. My phone started to ring. The caller Id said Alex. I grabbed my phone excitedly. Me and Alex have been talking more. We started to bond over our experience together. The hatred for the stalker was equal amount. Alex has been updated me about Mer's progress. She hasn't made any actually. It's more like she isn't herself anymore. Alex told me about her not talking to anybody. She started becoming more, dark and twisty.

I answered the phone eagerly to talk about my surgery.

"Hey, Cris" He said drained.

 _"Alex, is everything okay, you sound really shaken up"? I asked concernly._

 _"Alex, is everything okay"? I asked again frantically. I heard him breath in. He took a deep breath and exhaled harshly. I start to freak out. But I remained calm._

 _"Cristina have some devastating news to tell you" He told me trying not to sound all chocked up. That was making more anxious. There was a gnawing feeling eating away in my stomach._

 _I_ _gulped. I took a big breath before replying._

 _"Alex what's happened"? I asked nervously._

 _"Mer was kidnapped, we think it's her stalker" He confessed as I chocks on his tears._

 _When I heard him say that. I didn't know how to respond. I stay quiet. I let out huge earth shattering cries._

 _"Cristina, are you okay"? He asked._

 _"Yeeess, I'm okaaay" I answered with a shaky voice._

 _"Cris do you want me to fly out there to pick you up"? He offers._

 _I clear my throat harshly. "No,no I can get back to Seattle" I state_

 _"Okay" He said unsure._

 _"I will see you when I land, this time don't forget to pick me up" I state still shaken._

 _"I will, see you when you land" He replied before hanging up._

 _I sat there in tears. I slammed my hands on the steering wheel. I began slamming my head on steering wheel. When I hit the center. It honked. I started screaming at the top my lungs. Why is life so cruel? First there was the bomb. Then the fairy boat crash, where Mer drowned. After that was George getting hit by a bus. A year after was the shooting. There was also Callie's car accident. Oh and can't forget the plane crash, where we lost Mark and Lexie. Oh then there was, Meredith giving birth during the super storm. Webber getting electrocuted, Derek I'm accident and dying. Mer being attacked. The fire, and then Meredith car accident. And last for is Mer getting kidnapped. Like come on world. How can the world be so fucked up?_

 _After crying In my car. I go up to my bosses office. I asked him for a few weeks off and I explained why._

 _"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Dr yang" My boss said._

 _"Thank you very much, sir" I thanked him._

 _I left his office and went to my apartment I packed my stuff. I call a cab to the airport. It's the second time I had to go back to Seattle. But Alex needs me. He might not want to admit. But he does. And honestly I need him too. I get on my flight._

 _The next day_

 _I finally landed. I take out my phone and call Alex._

 _"Hello" He answered._

 _"Alex I landed, can you pick me up"? I asked._

 _"Yes, I'm on my way" He replied._

 _Alex pulls up to the airport. I get in the car and sit in passenger seat. He puts the car in drive._

 _After 20 minutes of complete dead silence. I sat there in my seat crying silently. He pull the car over. I think he heard me cry. I notice_ _the car has stopped. I look over at alex with my desperate pleading eyes._

 _He move closer to me and wraps his arms around me. I lean my head over his shoulders. I continued to cry. After 3 more minutes in dead silence. I finally lift my head from his shoulder. I look up. My eyes were bloodshot and red. I didn't even bother wiping them away. He took his two fingers and gently wiped the falling tears away. I smiled a little bit. I cleared my throat._

 _"Alex, thanks for letting me cry I really need it" I_ _said with a small smile._

 _"Your welcome, I will always be here when you need me" He smiled softly back._

 _He puts the car back in drive and we head to Grey Sloan. We were greeted by Jackson, April, Baliey, Webber, Owen and Amelia in her wheel chair. I was pulled into a group hug. I started to feel happier. I actually hugged Amelia. I was surpised I hugged her. Since she's Owen's wife. And I'm his ex-wife. Amelia had tears in her eyes. Owen gave her paper bag to breath into. She eventually calmed down._

 _It was time go pick up the kids. Me and Alex hugged everyone goodbye. We were both pulled into the group hug again. This time the group hug was filled with tears. Jackson, Webber and Owen cried too._

 _We pulled apart. Alex waves goodbye. He picked up the kids. Zola runs up to Alex. Baliey keeps asking about Meredith. Maggie hands Alex ,Ellis. Ellis giggles when He tickle her tummy. I just laughed at him. It was the first time I have laughed in hours._

 _"If your going to laugh, why don't you play with her" He snapped playfully._

 _"Maybe Fine I will" I laughed._

 _I grab Ellis and put in my arms._

 _"Dada" Ellis giggles._

 _Alex's face turns white. I noticed the look of shock on his face. I walk up to Alex._

 _"Alex, it's okay, your the only father figure she knows. Your not replacing Derek. And I can tell you truly love these kids like their your own" I said in a sensitive tone._

 _"So I have to tell you something that is hard to admit. You were right. I'm in love with Meredith. I don't know how long, I have had these feelings about her" He said._

 _I smiled at him. I knew he would eventually would figure it himself. You have to be blind to not see how much they love each other._

 _"I knew it, evil spawn you finally passed my test. I'm retiring evil spawn nickname. You have no idea how happy this makes me" i expressed with a huge smile._

 _"I think I have some idea" He groaned regretting telling me ._

 _"No you don't. Alex I have known for a while now that you have loved her. I just never brought it up. Alex, Derek's gone. He can't come back. I know that Mer loves you too. She just scared to finally let go of Derek. He made Meredith bright and shiny. Even how much I didn't like it. I was happy, she was happy. Now she's dark and her old self before she met him. But you bring the bright and shiny out of her too. I never seen her so happy, when she's with you. You make her smile more ways her I thought was possible. So don't give up, Alex. Fight for her. You tell her. Jackson told me what Mark said to him before he died. That's why he told April at her wedding. Don't you want to have her and her have your children. Even if it's not my fantasy. Go be happy. Your not happy with Jo. You act like you are. But your not. I can see you are just dying in this relationship with Jo. Personally I never liked her" I encourage him._

 _" what if we never find her or when we do find her, she dead"? He cried._

 _I was immediately panicked. I wasn't use to Alex breaking down like that. He was so helpless. I only have seen like this once. And that was when Izzie left him. Dear john style. But Mer was there to tell me what to do:_

 _"Alex, don't think like that, stay strong" I replied._

 _He starts to break down more and more. I threw my arms around him and patted him softly. He starts to cry harder. That night He cried myself to sleep. I lay next to him and fell asleep also. It had been a very emotional day. I also cried myself to sleep. I missed Mer so much. Maybe I should just move back? I whisper to myself._


	13. Cold Hearted Stares

Mer's pov

I'm woken up abruptly. The cell door crashed open. Paul was standing in front angry. My eyes whipped open so fast. Paul grabs arm painfully. I yelp in pain.

"Morning, bitch get the fuck up, you have to do stuff today" He snapped.

I stand up sharply. As I stood up I could hear a crack in my knee. I was yanked up. I limped my way out of the cell. He untied the rope on my arms. He pushed me forward.

"Hurry up"! Paul barked.

I walked more quickly, afraid I would get hit again. I followed Paul down the long narrow hallway. He turns down the hallway and goes into a room. The room had a queen sized bed. He lays on the bed. He bit his lip sexually. Oh god. He's going to make me have sex with him. I cringed inside my head, but remand casual on the outside. The other guy pushed me towards Paul. Paul grabs a hold of me. He pulls me closer to him. He grabs my head and turns me towards his face. He pulls me closer to his lips. He moved his lips onto mine. I start return the favor. I kissed him back. His lips tasted like venom. I didn't want to continue. But I stuck with his plan.

He moves his hands up and down my back. He unhooks my bra. I force myself to pull my shirt off. He takes off his shirt. He was ripped. He had a tattoo on the side of his hip. I couldn't read it. Because he threw me down on the bed. He climbs on top and pulls my scrubs off. Lastly he tears off my panties. He shoves himself in me. I moaned. Not a moan of pleasure. A moan disguised as a cry. After we was done he pulled himself out. I wanted to cry. I was disgusted with myself. I had unprotected sex with him. All I wanted was to be found, alive.

"My lovely Brooke, go back to your cell now"! He yelled coldheartedly.

He threw me down on the floor. The other guy grabbed and put me over his shoulder like I was a sack. Then he threw me against the wall. He slammed the cell door shut. He laughs as he locks it. I pressed my head against the wall. I felt dirty. I wanted to wash the dirty feeling away. I cried my eyes out.

Two hours later

Paul returns. This time he came right up to my cell.

"Bitch you have the rest of day off. Tomorrow I have special plans for you" Paul smirked.

My stomach felt turned. He stares at me like I'm a piece of meat. He opens the cell. He picks me up. We head back to the room. We had sex again. So I guess I'm a prostitute. It's night time now. It's pitch black in the cell. I'm focused to sleep on the stone cold ground. I closed my eyes and wished Alex was here. I wanted to go home. I missed my kids. It's only been two days. I have had sex 5 times. I don't even know the time. I'm scared for my life. I'm not even sure if I will make it alive. Dark and cold. "Just because your scared, doesn't mean your powerless" I whispered to myself. It's going a long time before I'm found.


	14. Slight Hope

Alex's pov

It's been a one month, since Meredith was kidnapped. The police are working their asses off. I'm not going to give up. Cristina moved back here. She would fly back every two weeks. Baliey gave her job back. I was paged to the on-call room. Jo said we need to talk the other night.

"Hey" I said.

"Hey" She says shortly.

"Alex I think we need to break up. I know your in love with Meredith and I'm okay. I will be fine. I start think about Andrew differently" She confessed.

"Yeah we should break up. I'm sorry we didn't work out. I have been in love with Meredith for awhile now. I just didn't notice. And now that Meredith was kidnapped. I have no idea if I'm just waiting here. Like it's not worth it or something" I cried.

Jo looks up at me.

"Alex don't lose hope yet, we will find her. You will able tell her that you love her. I know what it's like to terrified. I ran away from my husband" she told me.

I was about to answer when Some gives me a strange package. I opened it there was a letter.

"Alex Karev, I remember you. I saw you before I hopped in my cab. I have your girl. If you give me my girl back. You can have yours back. If you don't she gets it" signed Paul stadler. That bastard took Meredith. I started to cry. Jo grabs the letter and reads it.

"Oh my god! Alex I'm so sorry. Paul did this. I have to go turn myself in" she stated.

"No jo your going back to that man"! I snapped.

"Alex I have to ours he's going kill her. I know his limits. He won't stop until he has me" She told me as cried.

"Jo you can't do that" I demanded.

"Alex I have to" She snapped.

"Jo don't do it" I begged.

"Alex, I'm not actually go to do it. I'm going set him up and grab Meredith" she explained.

"Okay, just be careful" I said uneasy.

Jo runs off and gets the police to wire her. I watch her leave. I cried as thinking I won't her again. I did love her. Just not as much as I love Mer.

Cris's Pov

I moved back to Seattle. Mer still hasn't been found. I start to lose hope. Alex is barely hanging on. I'm not even holding on. I came back here for her. And she isn't anywhere. I miss her so much. Alex raced up to me.

"Jo's husband has Meredith" Alex said out of breath.

"What"! I said shocked.

"Jo is tricking him. She's going to him. But she had wires on her" Alex explained.

"What is Jo thinking"? I asked.

Alex hands me something. It was a letter.

"Alex Karev, I remember you. I saw you before I hopped in my cab. I have your girl. If you give me my girl back. You can have yours back. If you don't she gets it" signed Paul stadler. Oh my god.

"Alex what if he already killed her"? I asked.

"Cris no you can't think like that. Remember you told me the same thing" He explained.

God I hate when he actually listens.

"Alex she has been gone for a month. That's not a good sign that we still haven't found her" I state.

"Cristina, don't think like that" He cried.

"I'm sorry, for starting to give up hope. That's what he wants. He wants us to break" I confessed.

"It's okay" Alex sighed.


	15. Still Hoping

Mer's pov

A month later

I woke up feeling sick. I threw up on the stone ground. I heard groaning.

"You stupid bitch"! Paul screamed.

"I'm sorry I haven't been feeling good lately" I said.

"Fuck, Are you pregnant"? He yelled.

"I don't know" I cried.

" I will be back don't move"! He shouted.

He comes back 20 mins later. He hands me the pregnancy test. He pushes me towards the bathroom. I peed on the little stick. I was so scared if it came out positive. Two mins later. I looked at the test and cried. It was positive. I have no idea how he would react. I opened the bathroom door.

"What does it say"? He asked.

"It's say I'm pregnant" I said shaky.

"Damn you bitch" He snapped.

He threw self at me. I tried to block his punches. But he punched me right in the face.

"That's what you get, you slut"! He yelled.

He stormed out. I bursted out crying. Tears soaked my face. I got pregnant by Paul. This guy is the father. I was kidnapped and now I'm having a baby. I just want to go home. I forced myself to go to sleep. I let keep thinking happy thoughts. That's what I have been doing to stay calm. I want Alex. I haven't seen my kids in so long. They probably think I'm dead. Alex has probably given up on me. "I will get out of here" I whispered to myself.

Alex pov

I still keep holding on to hope. Zola keeps asking about her. I told them she went somewhere. I felt bad for lying. But I can't tell them she was kidnapped. Cris isn't the same with out her. It's been a long time.

Amelia has recovered, is back and working.

"Alex" Amy says.

"Yes, Amy"? I asked.

"Alex get out of bed" She said

"No"! I snapped.

"Alex please, you can't mope around, we will find her" Amy snapped.

"Amy, please let me sleep" I begged.

No! Get up now"! She demanded.

I finally gave up. I head down stairs. I was paged as soon as I sat down at the table. I raced to the hospital.

Jo's pov

I haven't been able to track him down. Alex hasn't been himself. I feel so bad for him. I hate that. Since I told him was married and he tracked him down. Paul found out. And since he couldn't find me. He went after Meredith.

I feel so hopeless. I caused this. We have no idea if he killed her or not. The police said that he only brought one thing. It was a pregnancy test. Damn it he either raped her or she had to have sex with him. And if you don't listen you spend your nights on the floor. I wasn't sure if I should tell Alex. So I decided to tell Cristina.

"Cristina can I tell you something"? I asked.

"Yes what is it"? She asks.

" The police told me that he only brought one thing. It was pregnancy test" I told her.

"So he raped her"? Cristina cried.

"Or she had to have sex with him" I sighed.

"Oh god! Please be neither" Cristina cried.


	16. Nine Months

Mer's pov

Nine months later

It's been nine months. I woke up in excruciating pain. Oh god the baby is coming. This is so painful. I have never had a baby naturally. It has always been through C-Sections.

"Can you keep it down"! Paul yelled.

"I'm in freakin labor" I hissed

"You don't talk back to me"! He snapped.

"I'm having your fucken baby"! I snapped.

"Oh so now your yelling at me after not saying anything for months. Wow you have a month on you, whore"! He furiously yelled.

"I'm not your bitch or your hoe. I'm Meredith. Not Brooke. So stop calling me Brooke"! I screamed.

"That's it get your ass over here"! He snapped.

He grabbed me forcefully by my hair. He kicked my stomach repeatedly. I screamed in pain with each kick. He picks me up and throws down. I could feel my head banged on the stone cold ground. He grabs me forcefully. And continues to hit me. I felt dizzy. All a sudden I felt my water break. But when I sat up. There was blood everywhere. I was scared. I knew I could lose the baby. But the only baby I wanted was with Alex. But he's with Jo. They are probably married already. He is probably a father. I don't know who's taking of my kids. I hope it's Alex. He wouldn't leave them to a stranger. He's not that guy.

"Oh my god" He shouted.

"Brooke"! Stay with me"! He yelled panicked.

For the first in months, he actually sounded scared. I don't know how much longer I can take the pain.

I start to lose vison. I could hear Paul yelling in the background. He yells were more scared then hatred.

"911, what's your emergency"? I could hear on the other line.

"This women Brooke she's in labor but there's a lot of blood" Paul told them. After I yelled at him, he still continued to call Brooke. He lied to them.

It's funny how much he fake cares.

I was pulled into the ambulance. My eyes shut. I honestly wanted to die. I missed my kids. And I wasn't even sure if I would see them again. I heard one of the paramedics say something.

"She lost a lot of blood. There are bruises. I don't know how she felt through this. It must of been terrible" The blonde paramedic in a sad tone.

She actually looked almost empathic. She actually had tears in her eyes. And then a voice came through that I recognized. Her tone was soft.

"Oh my god! Meredith I'm so sorry" She cried.

I turn my head slightly. I saw Jo crying. I tried to speak but I start to fade into the darkness.

Heavenish

I woke up surrounded by a bunch of people. I was confused but relieved. I saw Lexie, George and Mark.

"Lexie" I croaked out.

"Meredith I'm so sorry for you had to go through" She said through tears.

"Mer" George said.

"George, I have missed you" I tell as we hug.

"Mer, I'm so sorry, we tried to protect you" George explains as tears stream down his face. He had a buzz cut. He was in his army uniform.

"How's my big Grey" Mark said.

"I have been horrible. I was kidnapped. And I was forced to have sex with him. Then I got pregnant" I told mark. He had tears in his eyes.

"Meredith I'm so sorry" He says sympathetically. Lastly was Derek.

"Derek" I cried.

"Mer" He cried too.

"I'm with you now" I said.

"Meredith, you have to go back" He states.

"Why"? I asked.

They don't answer. They showed me a video screen. I watched it. I saw Alex who was distraught. Cris was crying into his arms. He said tears as well. "I love you Meredith" He said. The camera zoomed out. It was me in the hospital bed. "Why did I find out to late that I'm in love with you. And now you will never be there. I'm going to miss you, Mer." He tells me. I had tears in my eyes. He loves me. And he never gave up.

"Meredith did you make your decision"? Derek asked.

"Yes Derek, I'm going back, Alex and Cristina need me" I explain.

"We will meet again" Derek says.

"Bye Lexie".

"Goodbye Mer, keep kicking ass at surgery" Lexie told me.

"Bye George"

"Bye Mer" He says as we hugged goodbye.

Last was Mark. He walks up to me.

"See you in a another lifetime, Big Grey" Mark say.

I walked over into the white light.


	17. Hope Or Give Up

Jo's Pov

After trying to look for myself. I looked everywhere, abandoned places, Alleys and a rape house. I know sounds horrible. It's because it is. When Paul turned abusive, he start making go to these rape houses. I don't know how many times. One day when he was out of town. I packed my stuff. I changed my name. I got into a med school program. I wanted a better life then what I got.

I was paged to the E.R. When I got there. Bailey told me that there is a women who has been in labor, but with a lot of blood.

"Wilson, I need you to come with me. It could be Meredith we don't know. We have no idea what condition this women has been in" She explained.

"Yes Doctor Baliey" I replied.

I get my Grey Sloan jacket on. I had outside to where the amblance is. It's middle of winter. As we were driving. The sky was white. The snow fell gently on the wind shield. But wiped away. This process kept going for what seemed like hours. The ambulance doors opened. I climbed out. There was a cop car. I decided to ask what the call sounded like. He tells a description.

"Can you tell me what the call sounded like"? I asked

"It sounded like a male voice. He said that a women Brooke was in labor" He told me.

Not long after, the women was carried out of the dark building. She was put into the ambulance. I climbed in after. Baliey climbed in next. The women was covered in bruises. She had a black eye. She looked like she was just beaten. The horrifying memories popped into my mind. I heard could still Paul's screaming of torture. The thought shivers up my spine. I shake the feeling off. I began to exam the women. When I got close. I noticed she had the same bone structure as Meredith. My heart rate quickened. Then I saw that she had dark navy blue scrubs. It was all startingto match up. The women opened her eyes. She had the same color eyes as Meredith.

It clicked that we found Meredith. I lifted her shirt. It revealed more and more bruises. I started to burst into tears.

"Oh my god! Meredith I'm so sorry" I cried.

She turned her head slightly. Meredith tried to speak but She started to fade into the darkness.

"Vib"! Baliey shouted.

"Crash cart"! I yelled.

I put the paddles on to her chest. I wiped my eyes.

"Charge to 200"! I shouted.

"Charging to 200"! Baliey shouted.

"Clear"! I yelled. There was a huge shock noise.

"sinus rhythm" I said out of breath. The ambulance pulled into the pit. We climbed out. We were greeted by. Alex, Jackson, Webber, Owen and Maggie.

"What to do we have"? Webber asked.

I didn't know what to say.

"Brooke Stadler, pregnant 41 weeks. Multiple bruises. In properly healed wounds" the paramedic stated.

Alex looked at me confused. I decided to interrupt.

"It's not Brooke, it's Meredith" I told them.

Alex's eyes just looked like he died right there. They pulled out Meredith. Everyone gasped. Except me and Baliey we stayed silent as tears rolled down our cheeks. Alex bursts into tears and starts hyperventilating. I pulled Alex out of the scene. We head to an on-call room.

"He raped her" Alex said heart broken.

"I know Alex, I'm truely sorry" I apologized.

"Don't you say your sorry, it wasn't your fault" He snapped.

"But Alex I put her in danger" I stated as tears burned my face.

"No you didn't. That was his own doing. Not yours" He repiled.

We just sat there and cried. I have no idea how long we cried for. It seemed like hours. I let Alex lay down on my shoulders. He sobs into my arms.

Alex's pov

It's been 10 months since she was kidnapped. I have cried every night. I was starting to lose hope. Baliey told Jo that she had to go with her. Cristina and Maggie pulled me out of bed this morning. I was so depressed I stopped doing surgeries. Baliey told me if I don't start working on my patients. I'm fired. Like how could she do that to me?

Cristina comes up to me in tears.

"Cris what's wrong"? I asked for of worry.

"It's been months Alex. I'm not even sure if I should still have hope" Cris cried.

"Cris you have to stay strong" I state.

"I know Alex. It's really hard. I have been taking care her kids. And I can tell your so worn out. You stopped performing new surgical techniques. Alex this isn't healthy" Cris explained.

"I know I just don't have the heart to do anything. You and Maggie had to drag me out of bed this morning. Baliey told me if I don't start working on my patients. She's going to fire me" I cried.

Cristina looks up at me. She pulls herself to hug me.

"Why did I start hugging people"? She grumbled.

I just laughed. It's a long time since I have laughed.

"Maybe cause Mer loved it" I bulted.

I saw tears in her eyes again. This time I hugged back in silence. When did the world become so heartless?

I was paged to the pit. I head down to the pit. I was followed by Jackson, Webber, Owen and Maggie. The ambulance pulled into the pit. I saw Jo and Baliey climb out.

"What to do we have"? Webber asked.

"Brooke Stadler, pregnant 41 weeks. Multiple bruises. In properly healed wounds" the paramedic stated.

I looked at Jo confused. It didn't make sense. That's Jo's real name.

"It's not Brooke, it's Meredith" She told us.

I just wanted to cry. Paul raped her. They pulled out Meredith. Everyone gasped. Except Jo and Baliey they stayed silent as tears rolled down their cheeks. I burst into tears and start hyperventilating. Jo pulled me out of the scene. We head to an on-call room.

"He raped her" I said heart broken. The bitterness disappeared. It turn into sobs.

"I know Alex, I'm truely sorry" She apologized.

"Don't you say your sorry, it wasn't your fault" I snapped. Why would she even bother defending that bastard.

"But Alex I put her in danger" She stated as tears burned her face.

"No you didn't. That was his own doing. Not yours" I replied.

We just sat there and cried. I have no idea how long we cried for. It seemed like hours. She lets me lay my head down on her shoulders. I sobbed into her arms.

An hour and half later Cris comes in. Her eyes were just pleading.

"Alex, Meredith got pregnant. The baby is in critical condition. Her labs came back. She didn't get any prenatal care. The baby is less than a pound. For being carried to full term. That's not a good sign. She has bruises all over body, Alex. Her stomach is scarred" Cris explained in a quwery tone as she cried.

"So you want me operate"? I asked shaking.

"Alex that's not what I'm asking" She replied.

"Then what are you asking"? I questioned.

I was afraid the answer. I couldn't believe it was almost a year. A freakin year.

"Alex the baby is not going to make it. And honestly I don't think she even wants that bastard's baby" Cris states.

I stayed quiet.

"Alex, I don't think Mer's going to come back this time" Cristina chokes on her tears.

"I'm scared to lose her" I cried.

"Me too Alex" Cris sighed.

"Cris stay strong" I said.

She was about to respond when someone came into the room with a pained expression. I knew the outcome before they told me. I knew Mer was gone.

Owen leads us to her room. She looked so peaceful. She looked the same besides a huge hand print on her cheek. Owen explained her condition. Amelia came into the room.

"Alex there's a small chance of her waking up. But without brain damage is very unlikely. I'm so so sorry, Alex. I know you love her. And I also know this extremely diffcult. Youhaven't seen her a year. And now she's here. You just want her to wake up and tell you love her" Amy explained as her eyes glisten.

I cleared my throat. "So your telling me that Meredith is most likely not going to wake up"? I asked painfully.

"Yes Alex. I'm so sorry, Alex. I really am sorry" Amy said with sympathy.

"Oh god. No she has to wake up"! I cried.

Amy leaves along with Owen. She start to break down. Cris stayed them in th dead silent room. The only thing you could hear was my cries. Jackson walks in.

I looked up. He smiled. But it turns into a frown.

"How would you take it, if was April"? I asked in a pained tone.

"Honestly Alex I would be breaking down like you are right now. I know me and you have a tense relationship. But just letting you know. That I will be here for you. I know your not one of those guys that cry. I'm not really either" Jackson whispered. Because Cris was sleeping in the chair next to Mer's bed.

"I don't know how I'm going to deal with Mer being gone forever. I was devastated when she was kidnapped. It destroyed me. It didn't talk to anybody. Besides Cristina. She knew my pain. I knew hers. To tell the truth. I have cried every night since she was kidnapped. And now hearing she had a baby with that bastard. It makes me so infuriated" I confessed.

"Alex knowing what he did to her. It makes me fumed. I'm going go into detail for your sake. And to answer your question. I would be angry. Even though me and April got divorced. Doesn't mean I don't still love her" He confesses.

"Jackson you just admitted that you still are in love with April" I point out.

"Alex! I'm trying to be serious here" He groaned.

"Sorry" I mocked.

"Alex I know your using your defense mechanism to hide your pain. I used it too. It doesn't help. You eventually just break down" He stated.

"Jackson, why does the world hate me"? I cried.

Jackson faces me. He looks me straight in the eye.

"I honestly don't think the world hates me. What happened isn't your fault. It's no body's fault but his. So don't think it's your fault" he said.

"Thanks Jackson I really needed that tough love" I thanked him.

"Your welcome, anytime" He says confidently.

I rolled my eyes. He rolled his eyes back at me. After a little while. He gets paged. I sat in other chair next to Mer's bed.

It was time to say goodbye. I didn't want to. This is so unbelievable. It felt like a nightmare. It was a terrifying one. Losing Mer is unbearable. She's has been one of my best friends for 14 years now. I would tell her everything. I would make her feel better after she was attacked. I guess that was when I didn't realize I was in love with her until it was too late. I ended up letting my guard down and let her in. Then I let my myself for her. Cristina was crying so hard. She leans over to me. I wrapped my arms around her. She lets out earth shattering cries. Cris pulls away and wipes her eyes. I lean over to her bed. Tears were soaking my cheeks. I kept begging her to wake up.

"I love you Meredith" I said as I cried.

"Why did I find out too late that I'm in love with you. And now you will never be there. I'm going to miss you, Mer" I cried. I put my head on her. "Mer, please wake up" I begged as my very bloodshot eyes cried more tears. I weakly stood up. But I collapsed. I guess losing Mer was making physically sick. My eyes shut.

"Alex"! Cristina yelled.

"Alex your all I have left, I can't lose you too"! She shouted as tears fell.

I didn't even care anymore. I just lost my love of my life. Mer was right you don't just have one love. Izzie was my first. I guess my last was Mer. Mer I'm coming for you baby.


	18. Sticks & Stones

Cris's Pov

I found Alex crying in the on-call room. Alex has been barely holding on. I heard that they found Mer. I was so relieved. But hearing that she had the baby. I was heart broken. When I heard that her labs came back. I looked at her charts. It stated she had no prenatal care. The baby was less than a pound. Alex is pediatric surgeon. I didn't think having Alex working on the baby would work. He was carried to full term. But didn't weigh much. I tried to hide my tears. I opened the door. Alex sits up. He's eyes were raw.

"Alex, Meredith got pregnant. The baby is in critical condition. Her labs came back. She didn't get any prenatal care. The baby is less than a pound. For being carried to full term. That's not a good sign. She has bruises all over body, Alex. Her stomach is scarred" I explained in a quwery tone as I cried.

"So you want me operate"? He asked shaking.

"Alex that's not what I'm asking" I replied.

"Then what are you asking"? He questioned.

I took a deep breath, before spoke again.

"Alex the baby is not going to make it. And honestly I don't think she even wants that bastard's baby" I state.

Alex stayed quiet.

"Alex, I don't think Mer's going to come back this time" I choke on my tears.

"I'm scared to lose her" He cried.

"Me too Alex" I sighed.

"Cris stay strong" He said.

I was about to respond when someone came into the room with a pained expression.

Owen leads us to her room. She looked so peaceful. She looked the same besides a huge hand print on her cheek. Owen explained her condition. Amelia came into the room.

"Alex there's a small chance of her waking up. But without brain damage is very unlikely. I'm so so sorry, Alex. I know you love her. And I also know this extremely diffcult. You haven't seen her a year. And now she's here. You just want her to wake up and tell you love her" Amy explained as her eyes glisten.

Alex cleared his throat. "So your telling me that Meredith is most likely not going to wake up"? He asked painfully.

"Yes Alex. I'm so sorry, Alex. I really am sorry" Amy said with sympathy.

"Oh god. No she has to wake up"! He cried.

Amy leaves along with Owen. She start to break down. I stayed there in the dead silent room. The only thing you could hear was Alex's cries. Jackson walks in. I didn't hear the conversation. I fell asleep. I was having a great dream.

Dream

Mer and I were sitting in my bedroom. We were laughing. I was so happy. Mer walks into the bathroom. Two minutes later she walks out all panicked.

"Mer what does it say"? I asked her worried.

"It's positive. How I'm going tell Alex"? She asked.

"Tell me what"? Alex asked.

"Alex I'm pregnant" Mer says.

"Your pregnant"? He asked.

"Yes Alex I'm pregnant. I mean like with a baby. Not a watermelon" Mer giggled.

"I meant baby not watermelon" Alex grumbled.

"Well evil spawn needs to learn how to spell baby. How the hell did you get watermelon out of baby" I laughed.

"Cristina"! Mer snapped.

"Sorry" I apologized.

"So let's go back to you being pregnant" Alex said.

"Alex are you happy"? Mer asked.

"Of course I'm happy, I'm going to be a father. And your the mother" Alex answered excitedly.

"Okay now lets stop being lovey dovey" I groaned.

"Shut up" Alex and Meredith yelled.

"Fine" I groaned.

We all started laughing.

Back to real time

I woke up. I was so happy and it wasn't even real. I frowned. It's kind of werid I want Alex to get Meredith pregnant. I decided not to tell Alex about the dream. I think it would just upset him.

It was time to say our goodbyes. I tried to stay strong. Like Alex keeps saying. I told her goodbye. I wiped the tears away. Alex was next. He comes into the room. It was so quiet you could only hear my cries.

I was crying so hard. I lean in to Alex. He wrapped his arms around me. I let out earth shattering cries. I pulled away and wipe my eyes. Alex lean over to her bed. Tears were soaking his cheeks. He kept begging her to wake up.

"I love you Meredith" He said as he cried.

"Why did I find out too late that I'm in love with you. And now you will never be there. I'm going to miss you, Mer" He cried. He puts his head on her. "Mer, please wake up" He begged as his very bloodshot eyes cried more tears. I saw him weakly stand up. He collapsed. His eyes shut. I raced over to him.

"Alex"! I yelled.

"Alex your all I have left, I can't lose you too"! I shouted as tears fell.

I can't be the only one left. There was 5 of us. George he got hit by a bus. Izzie got cancer and left. I left but came back. Mer got kidnapped. Alex was shot. And now he's leaving me too. He can't leave me too. I already said goodbye to Mer. I can't say goodbye to him too.

I ran and hit the code blue button. April, Baliey and Jackson ran in.

"What happened"? Jackson asked.

"I don't even know. He was crying about Meredith and he stood up and collapsed" I told them as tears fell. I kept shaking.

"Crash cart"! Jackson yelled.

He grabs the paddles. I just stood there crying. "Alex please don't leave me" I whispered to myself over and over again. Charge to 200"! He shouts. "Charging to 200" Baliey yells. "Clear"! Jackson yelled. They were able to get him back. I cried In relief. This day just keeps getting worse.

I walked out of the room. I couldn't handle it anymore. Arizona came up to me. I wiped my tears.

"I heard about Alex, I'm so sorry" she said.

"It's okay, he's fine now. I just miss Mer so much right now" I replied.

"I miss her too" Arizona cried.

We hugged each other. Tears began to fall. He's okay and Mer's happier not in pain.

"He will make it through this. He's tough and sarcastic butt hole. But he will make it" Arizona states.

" I know realization it's all hitting me. It's like he was just here and now he's in that bed" I cried. The pain was unbearable. I don't know how people handle this much devastation. I just lost Mer and I was about to lose Alex too. How can life be so unfair?

"I know I was afraid too, Cris. I mentored him. He was just some arrogant asswhole. Before I changed him for the better" Arizona laughed. I began laughing too. The tears which were once tears of devastation turned into tears of laughter. We wiped our eyes. I stood up and went to Mer's room.

When I got there I saw her with her eyes open. She was alive. I raced over to her. She was freaked out.

"Mer,Mer it's okay it's just me. Your okay. Your safe" I told her. Mer starts to calm down.

"Mer just breath" I instructed.

She begins to breathe. After she calm down. She finally spoke up.

"Is the baby, okay"? She asked vulnerably

My heart broke for her. She looked so lifeless. That Paul guy took everything out of her. She wasn't the brave and ground breaking surgeon. She looked like no one I recognized. She was a complete different. She was so broken, damaged. I breathed in before telling her.

"Mer I'm so sorry but he's gone" I told her.

She cried. The tears soaked her already soaked cheeks.

"I knew I couldn't save him. I didn't get any prenatal care. He wouldn't left me leave. The only times I was allowed to leave was to go the bathroom or ... Mer didn't continue. She took a deep breathe before she spoke again.

"Or when I had sex with him" Mer cried.

Oh my god. She was forced to have sex with that bastard. And the only reason she got away is cause he was scared he would be found. I bit my lip hard. I bit it until it bled.

"Oh my god Mer! I'm so sorry" I cried.

"And if I didn't this his friend would throw me back in to my cell. I sat there at the night. Crying and pleading to be let go. The day after he kidnapped me. It was my first day I had to have sex with him. It was torture, Cris. And when I got pregnant. He reacted badly. He would yell at me. He threw done on the floor. I was petrified. I didn't know if I would ever see you, Alex or my kids again. Oh god my kids have forgotten me. Alex has probably is already married to Jo" Mer explained.

Then I knew I had to tell her. I was scared how she would react. Mer looks at me.

"Cris what's wrong"? She asked.

I took a deep breathe before telling her.

"Mer, Alex collapsed after he said goodbye to you" I confessed.

"Nooo"! Mer cried.

"He's okay now. He just hasn't woken up" I said.

"Oh my god" Mer said.

"Mer he's okay, okay" I state.

"Cris , you were right. I love Alex. I'm in love with him. When I was in heaven. I told to George, Lexie, Mark and Derek. I saw you guys. You were crying into Alex's arms. Alex told me his was in love with me. Then I made decision on coming back to you and Alex" Mer confessed.

I took in the information I was given. She was in heaven. Like real heaven. She talked to George. And Lexie. I use to call her three. I hated my interns. But when Mer gave Lexie a chance. I grew to love Lexie too.

"So your finally admitting you love Alex"? I asked. Even though I knew the answer.

"Yes don't tease me on this. I need to see Alex" She negotiated.

"Okay I won't. I will see what I can do" I said.

I got up from the bed and told Mer I would be right back. I literally sprinted to his room. When I got there. Alex was still not awake. I slowly walked over to his bed and whispered to him.

"Alex Mer's alive, don't leave us. We need you. Mer's Okay. She will have a long recovery. Alex I get do this alone" I begged as tears fell.

I slowly backed up. I saw Alex slightly moving his eyes open. He was disorientated. He looked around the room, before returning his eyes to me. He started to cry. My heart shattered. He looked so lost. He tried to open his mouth, but no words came out. I saw point at something. I turned around to this where he was pointing to. He was pointing to the cups by the sink. I stood up and walked to the sink. I turned on to the Fossett and walked back to Alex. I handed Alex the cup of water. He grabbed the cup from my hands. I saw him take a big gulp of water, before speaking. He cleared his throat. He took a deep breath. He put the empty cup on his TV tray.

"Who, are you"? Alex asked.

I saw shocked. He doesn't remember me. I kept my tears from falling. I blinked back my tears. The tears were threatening to fall. My thought was interrupted.

"Who are you"? Alex repeated.

I took a deep breathe before replying.

"Alex, I'm Cristina Yang" I stuttered.

"Why are you in my room? What happened? How did I get here"? He rambled.

"Alex do you remember what year it is"? I asked frightened.

" it's 2005" He answered.

Damn it. He doesn't remember 14 years of his life. This can't be happening. Alex looked at me. I think he saw my face.

"Cristina Yang, is anything alright"? He asked in a relaxed tone.

I tried not to cry. He doesn't remember meeting anybody.

"Uh Alex , What's your career choice"? I asked trying to sound casual.

"I'm a intern at Seattle Grace Hospital. I'm going to be a surgeon. More precisely a plastics surgeon. They get paid a lot and they work with boobs" Alex respond with a smirk planted on his face.

Oh great this Alex. I don't miss this Alex. It took him so long from being this person. I hated him for a long time. Just cause he called Mer a nurse.

"Oh cool. I'm a intern too" I replied neutrally.

"That's cool, can I get your number and meet in the on-call room" Alex said smugly.

I tried to hide the look of disgust. He looked at me.

"Alex your not going to be able to be an action, for a little while" I told him trying to not to get angry.

God this is going to destroy Mer. He is nothing like himself. I know that this hardcore blunt guy is an act. It just is really hard to go back to this. It makes me want to punch him, every damn time he opens his mouth.

"Awe too bad, your hot" Alex whistled.

"Alexander Michel Karev stop it"! I threatened.

"How the hell do you know my name"! Alex snapped.

Oops I almost told him. He has to figure out for himself.

"Uh, Lucky guess. And it says your first and last name on your chart" I lied.

"Oh, okay" He replied.

I realized the time. I got up from the chair.

"I got to go Alex see you later" I said.

"Goodbye Dr. Yang" Alex said flirty.

I honestly was so grossed out. I quickly left his room. I was so in thought that ,I ran into someone. I looked up from the floor.

"Oh sorry, Owen" I said trying not to cry.

But I failed. I was married too him for god sake.

"Cris what's wrong"? He asked concernly.

"Alex doesn't remember me. Or Mer, Izzie. He doesn't remember anything. He thinks it's 2005" I cried.

"Oh Cris I'm sorry. That's horrible" He states with a frown.

"And how I'm I supposed to tell Mer this. That the guy she loves, doesn't remember her or anyone from 2005 to now" I explained as I cried.

Owen pulls me into a hug. I cried on his shoulders. Our moment was interrupted by someone clearing their throat. We pull apart. It was Amelia.

"Oh sorry, I was just upset and he hugged me" I told her trying not to look at her.

She came up to me. I picked my head up from where I was looking. Her face started worry.

"Cristina what's wrong? Is it Mer? Is she okay"? Amy asked panicked.

"Oh no, she is fine. It's Alex" I answered shaky.

"What about Alex"? She asked.

"Uh, He ... doesn't remember me ... or ... anyone ... from ...14 ... years ... ago" I barely was able to make out a full sentence without stuttering.

Amelia looked like see lost herself.

"Oh god"! She cried.

"This can't be happening"! Amy yelled.

"Amy, calm down. It's going be okay" Owen said in a sensitive tone.

"How can I calm down! Alex doesn't remember us"! Amelia snapped.

"Amelia, we are trying to find out what caused him to lose his memory" Owen stated.

I let a sigh. I had to get back to Mer. I have no idea how I'm going to tell her. This will break her. I walk down the hall in silence. I turned into Mer's room.

"Finally what took you so long"! Mer snapped impatiently.

"Mer, I have some news" I stated in a soft tone.

"Cris what is it"? She asked.

I sucked in a huge breath of air. I felt sweat run down my neck. My pulse quickened. My fists clenched. I start to bite the inside of my cheeks hard. I hear Mer's heart was beated rapidly. I cleared my throat harshly. I breathed out.

"Mer, Alex doesn't remember us" I stated trying not let my tears fall.

Mer stayed silent. She didn't move a muscle. I could only hear Mer's heart beating. Mer had tears streaming down her cheeks silently.

"Mer please say something"! I yelped panicked.

Mer looked up and tried to speak but nothing came out. The tears were completely covering her cheeks. My heart broke. She's in love with him. And he doesn't even remember her at all. It must be devastating.

"How? Why?" Mer stammered.

"We still don't know what caused it. He doesn't remember years 2005-now. I don't know why Mer. I really don't" I stated with a fresh line of tears.

"What! He doesn't remember us or anything" Mer cried.

"I know Mer. This very hard. I miss him too" I stated.

"I love him" She cried loudly.

"I know you do, Mer" I replied trying not to cry. But the tears fell anyway.


	19. Broken Dreams

Mer's pov

I woke up so scared. I didn't know where I was. I opened my eyes. They were filled with a white room. It was a room I recognized. I woke up and Cris wasn't there. Neither was Alex. I started to panic. Then Cris rushes in.

"Mer,Mer it's okay it's just me. Your okay. Your safe" She told me . I start to calm down.

"Mer just breath" Cris instructed.

"Is the baby, okay"? I asked vulnerably

"Mer I'm so sorry but he's gone" She told me.

I cried. The tears soaked my already soaked cheeks.

"I knew I couldn't save him. I didn't get any prenatal care. He wouldn't left me leave. The only times I was allowed to leave was to go the bathroom or ... I didn't continue. I took a deep breathe before I spoke again.

"Or when I had sex with him" I cried.

"Oh my god Mer! I'm so sorry" She cried.

"And if I didn't this his friend would throw me back in to my cell. I sat there at the night. Crying and pleading to be let go. The day after he kidnapped me. It was my first day I had to have sex with him. It was torture, Cris. And when I got pregnant. He reacted badly. He would yell at me. He threw me down on the floor. I was petrified. I didn't know if I would ever see you, Alex or my kids again. Oh god my kids have forgotten me. Alex has probably is already married to Jo" I explained.

I saw Cris's face turn complex.

"Cris what's wrong"? I asked.

She took a deep breathe before telling me.

"Mer, Alex collapsed after he said goodbye to you" She confessed.

"Nooo"! I cried.

"He's okay now. He just hasn't woken up" She said.

"Oh my god" I said.

"Mer he's okay, okay" She states.

"Cris , you were right. I love Alex. I'm in love with him. When I was in heaven. I told to George, Lexie, Mark and Derek. I saw you guys. You were crying into Alex's arms. Alex told me his was in love with me. Then I made decision on coming back to you and Alex" I confessed.

"So your finally admitting you love Alex"? She asked.

"Yes don't tease me on this. I need to see Alex" I negotiated.

"Okay I won't. I will see what I can do" She said.

What was taking her so long. After three hours she finally comes back.

"Finally what took you so long"! I snapped impatiently.

"Mer, I have some news" She stated in a soft tone.

"Cris what is it"? Iasked.

She sucked in a huge breath of air. She cleared her throat harshly. She breathed out.

"Mer, Alex doesn't remember us" She stated trying not let my tears fall.

I stayed silent. I didn't move a muscle. I could only hear My heart beating. I had tears streaming down my cheeks silently.

"Mer please say something"! She yelped panicked.

I looked up and tried to speak but nothing came out. The tears were completely covering my cheeks. My heart broke. I'm in love with him. And he doesn't even remember me at all. It was heart wrenching. How could this have happened?

"How? Why?" I stammered.

"We still don't know what caused it. He doesn't remember years 2005-now. I don't know why Mer. I really don't" She stated with a fresh line of tears.

"What! He doesn't remember us or anything" I cried.

"I know Mer. This is very hard. I miss him too" She stated.

"I love him" I cried loudly.

"I know you do, Mer" She replied trying not to cry. But the tears fell anyway.

Alex's Pov

I woke up in a place I didn't even know. I was confused. Why the hell, am I here? I'm in first year as intern. I'm supposed to be performing with the Nazi. God I hate her. She's so short. I heard someone telling me something.

I looked around the room, before returning my eyes to the girl in front me. I started to cry. I tried to open my mouth, but no words came out. I started to point at something. She turned around to this where I was pointing to. She stood up and walked to the sink. She turned on to the Fossett and walked back to over to me. She handed me the cup of water. I grabbed the cup from her hands. I took a big gulp of water, before speaking. I cleared my throat. I took a deep breath. I put the empty cup on my TV tray.

"Who, are you"? I asked confused.

"Who are you"? I repeated getting frustrated.

She took a deep breathe before replying.

"Alex, I'm Cristina Yang" She stuttered. I was still confused. And why does she look so upset.

"Why are you in my room? What happened? How did I get here"? I rambled.

"Alex do you remember what year it is"? She asked.

Why the hell is asking what year. It's 2005. Is she blind?

" it's 2005" I answered.

I looked at her. She looked so confused. Almost heartbroken.

"Cristina Yang, is anything alright"? I asked in a relaxed tone

"Uh Alex , What's your career choice"? She asked trying to sound casual.

"I'm a intern at Seattle Grace Hospital. I'm going to be a surgeon. More precisely a plastics surgeon. They get paid a lot and they work with boobs" I responded with a smirk planted on my face.

"Oh cool. I'm a intern too" She replied neutrally.

"That's cool, can I get your number and meet in the on-call room" I said smugly.

"Alex your not going to be able to be an action, for a little while" She told me trying to not to get angry.

"Awe too bad, your hot" I whistled.

Damn she really looked out. And probably a freak in the bed. I smile to myself.

"Alexander Michel Karev stop it"! She threatened.

"How the hell do you know my name"! I snapped.

How did she know my full name?

"Uh, Lucky guess. And it says your first and last name on your chart" She replied.

I could tell she was lying. But I just ignored it.

"Oh, okay" I replied.

"I got to go Alex see you later" She said.

"Goodbye Dr. Yang" I said flirty.

Something just didn't feel right. Should I know her? I saw my phone. What was different was. I had a kick slider. I picked up my phone. The phone looked so different. I push the button. There was a picture of a blonde girl with three little kids. There was several pictures of this women. Was she a hook up? No I wouldn't have this many pictures of a hook up. I stare at my phone so bemused. I don't understand. Do I have a girlfriend? My thought was interrupted by a knock. I looked up from my phone towards the door.

"Hi Alex" The Nazi said.

"Why are you calling me Alex"? I asked confused.

"Karev that's not how you talk to the chief of surgery"! Dr. Nazi snapped.

"Your chief of surgery? Since when"? I laughed cockly.

Dr Baliey looked at me confused.

"Alex, it's 2017. There are women chiefs. Alex, Are you okay"? She asked concernly.

What no it's 2005. She hasn't to be crazy.

"It's 2005, Dr Baliey" I stated.

Baliey looked at me remorsely. Why does she look so sad.

"Alex it's 2017. You fainted after Meredith got back from being kidnapped" She stated softly.

"What? Who's Meredith. Who ever she is she sounds hot" I said.

"Oh no" She said out loud.

"What"? I asked freaked out.

"Alex you have lost 14 years of memories. We don't know what caused it. Maybe it was the fall you took. Or the stress you were under. You were in a incredible amount of stress. With Meredith being kidnapped and raped. Or she had to have sex with Paul" Baliey explained. None of it came to mind. I was more confused then before.

"I wish I knew what you are talking about. I have no idea what your even talking about. And Meredith she is with Dr Shepard" I clarify.

The face she made when I mention Derek. It was almost like she was about to cry.

"Dr Baliey what's wrong"? I asked in concern.

"Alex, Derek died four years ago. He married Meredith before George died" She explained carefully.

"He's dead? 007 is gone too" I said in shock.

"Yes He is" She sighed.

"Wow what happened"? I asked curiously.

"In 2009, He joined the army. Before you ask about how he even would survive out there. He was going to tell his mom. When he saved a women from getting hit by a bus. He was dragged six blocks,before the bus driver even noticed. At the time we didn't even know about him being hit. He came in as John Doe. As soon as we found out, We rushed him into surgery. But he didn't make it. He's brain started swelling" Baliey explained as tears rolled down her cheeks. I have never seen her so sensitive.

"Oh my god"! I said.

"Yeah" she replied.

"Dr Shepard, What happened to him"? I asked.

Baliey cleared her throat and began to explain.

"He was in his way back to Seattle. When he was turning. I guess his phone rang. He looked down and a semi hit him. He died because the hospital didn't find out that he had a brain bleed. They skipped A head Ct" Baliey explained in a shaken tone.

"Who forgets a head Ct" I grumbled.

"I know right" She groaned.

"What happened to Meredith"? I asked.

She took deep breathe before telling me.

"She was in a car accident a year and two days ago. But it wasn't an accident. Someone messed with her steering wheel and brakes. After two weeks of recovering. She was kidnapped by the men who messed with her car. He raped her and beat her. She actually woke up today. The baby was less than an ounce. She never received prenatal care. The only reason he brought her back. Was so she didn't get him in trouble. He has been found. The baby died. She is really shaken still" Baliey explained the horrific details. For some reason I had tears in my eyes. I didn't know why. Maybe I really knew this girl.

"That's makes me so angry" I grumbled bitterly.

"Me too, Alex" She sighed.

Her pager goes off and she leaves the room. I had this gnawing feeling that wouldn't go away. Why has some much time passed? Apparently I hit my head. But what caused it? I'm so confused.


	20. Trouble Always Bites

Mer's pov

Two weeks later

It's been two weeks since I have been back. Alex still doesn't remember. I'm starting to worry that this long term. I will never be able to tell him I love him. He hasn't remember yet. Alex was released from the hospital a few days ago. I'm going to be released tomorrow. Cris is always trying to cheer me up. Nothing helped. Alex hasn't visited me. I wish he would just remember me. I was hungry. I hit my call button. And someone came in. I was expecting Cris or Arizona.

"You wanted something"? Someone asked.

I looked up from my feet and looked up to the door. Who I saw was Alex. He had blue scrubs.

"I was just hungry and Cristina wasn't answering" I replied.

"Oh, What would you like"? Alex asked kindly.

Alex would never be so nice. Unless he wanted to.

"Maybe a bacon cheese burger" I answered.

"Ok I will be back" He stated as he closed the door behind him.

I missed Alex's warmth. His strong arms holding me.

Arizona walked in. Her smile always made me feel a little better.

"How's my kids, Zona"? I asked with excitement.

"They are good. Are you happy to finally get out of here"? She asked with a smile.

"Yes. Can't wait to get to my kids. I haven't seen them in a year" I stated.

Then all a sudden three little kids ran in. Zola and Baliey run up to my bed. Ellis cried.

"ZoZo, I have missed you" I said as I hugged her tightly.

"I miss you too Mommy" She said happily.

"Bals come here" I shouted.

"Mommy"! Baliey squealed.

"Mama" Ellis exclaimed.

"I love you guys so much, never forget that" I stated with tears.

"Mommy don't cry" Zola said.

"When did you get so big"? I asked.

"I don't know. I'm in first grade" Zola stated.

"Wow your in first grade" I said In surprise.

"Yes mom" She replied.

I was about to respond when someone knocked on the door. I looked up. Alex was there holding a paper bag. He pulled out the burger from the bag.

"Here's your bacon cheese burger" Alex said as he gave it to me.

"Dada"! Ellis yelled.

I sat there in shock. Ellis has never called him Dad before. Just as was about to say sorry. But Cristina walked in.

"Dada" Ellis repeated.

"Ellie, Alex isn't your daddy" Cris told the little girl.

"Noe, he is my Dada" Ellis kept repeating.

"No it's okay, she just confused" Alex responded.

"Not confused" Ellis replied sweetly. Ugh how could I say no to her little puppy dog eyes and smile.

"Ellie, Why don't we get some markers to color with" Arizona suggested.

"Colors" Ellis giggles.

"Yes colors" Arizona pretended to be in the same awe she was.

Arizona and Eliis leave the room. Alex looked at me like he was confused.

"Uh, Did we have sex"? He says in a plain tone.

"What? No, We haven't" I said trying not to blush.

"Oh okay, Maybe it's something I don't remember" He suggested. Trying not to get my hopes up. I just shrug it off my shoulder.

"Maybe" I stated.

"I got to go back to rounds, see you Meredith" He replied. He turn towards the door. Then he looked back at me.

"And I'm sorry what happened to you. Nobody deserves to go what you went through" He stated with bit of anger hidden.

"Thanks, Alex" I said with a smile.

I had a little hope in my mind. My Alex would come back. But never hope too much. Why, Cause Trouble always bites.

Alex's Pov

I have been released for a few days now. I still have no idea about anything. My past memories have still not returned. For some reason I felt tied to this Meredith chick. I have so many pictures in my phone. On Facebook. This app called Instagram. I have never heard of it. Though I only remember a few distant memories. Slowly they were flowing back. I walked up to Baliey.

"Where's Izzie"? I asked.

She looked up from her charts.

"Izzie and you got married after you found about her cancer" She answered.

"Oh no she died. Didn't she"? I asked with Regret.

"No, Alex. After she was fired after making a mistake. She left you. Then she came back. But only to ask Derek to fix her favorite teacher. Then she came back after Meredith told her you moved on with Lexie. Who was still in love with Mark. You don't Izzie that you deserved better. And Alex I think you deserve better" Baliey explained.

Wow that was a lot. Wow Izzie and I got married. And then she left me.

"Wow that's wow" I said.

"Yeah. Alex are you starting to remember"? She asked.

"A little. I'm not much though" I sighed. Tears fell from my eyes.

"Alex, I know it's hard. You will start to remember" Baliey said with comfort tone.

"What if I don't"? I asked hopelessly.

"You will ask. Your starting to ask about things we didn't even tell you, Okay" She stated.

"Okay" I sighed.

I wiped my eyes. I was walking away when. I heard someone hit their button. I head to Meredith's room.

"You wanted something"? I asked.

She looked up from her feet and looked up to the door.

"I was just hungry and Cristina wasn't answering" She replied.

"Oh, What would you like"? I asked kindly.

"Maybe a bacon cheese burger" She answered.

"Ok I will be back" I stated as I closed the door behind me.

I head down to the cafe. I order her bacon cheese burger. I went back to her room. I knocked on the door. She looked up. I held up the paper with the burger in it. I pulled out the burger from the bag.

"Here's your bacon cheese burger" I said as he gave it to her.

"Dada"! The two year old yelled.

Why Is she calling me Dada? Am I here Dad? Did me and Meredith have a thing? I stood there trying not to act freaked out.

"Dada" She repeated.

"Ellie, Alex isn't your daddy" Cris told the little girl.

"Noe, he is my Dada" Ellis kept repeating.

"No it's okay, she just confused" I responded.

"Not confused" Ellis replied sweetly. That smile she gave me. It killed me. Was I suppose to know who she is?

"Ellie, Why don't we get some markers to color with" Arizona suggested.

"Colors" Ellis giggles.

"Yes colors" Arizona pretended to be in the same awe she was.

Arizona and Eliis leave the room. I looked over to Meredith with a confused look drawn on my face.

"Uh, Did we have sex"? I asked in a plain tone.

"What? No, We haven't" She said trying not to blush.

"Oh okay, Maybe it's something I don't remember" I suggested. Why do I feel this Instant connection with her?

"Maybe" She stated.

"I got to go back to rounds, see you Meredith" I replied. I turn towards the door. Then I looked back at Meredith.

"And I'm sorry what happened to you. Nobody deserves to go what you went through" I stated with bit of anger hidden.

"Thanks, Alex" She said with a smile.

I head back to rounds. I had this feeling I knew her better. Then it hit me. Lexie and Mark both died. Lexie died right after the plane crashed. That explains Arizona not having a leg. Mark died a month later. Cristina went to her fellowship in Minnesota. She came back after her mentor died. I started remember short little memories and nightmare. George is dead and has been for 9 years. I remember getting shot. That was the most terrible one to remember. Oh my god Meredith. My best friend is hurt. I still didn't know what happened to cause me to forget. I ran straight back to her room.

"Mer, Are you okay"? I asked in fear.

"Alex did you remember"? She asked.

" I remember the plane Crash, George's death and Arizona losing her leg. Then you and Derek, callie, Arizona trying to buy the hospital" I explained out of breath.

"That's great Alex" She smiled.

"I know I can't wait to remember more. I still feel like I'm missing a lot" I sighed.

"Alex you will remember soon okay" She answered.

"Okay" I sighed.

Will I remember? I know there's more I need to remember. I'm missing a lot of years. They say it's 2017. But I remember it being 2006. I remember my intern year. The first one. Izzie dumped me for that corpse. Then he died. But I don't know what happened next. I will have to wait for more. "Remembering takes time. But how much time"?

Cris's POV 

It's been two weeks. Alex is starting to remember. A week later. Alex came up to me. I was leaving to go home.

"Cristina can I talk to you"? He asked.

"Yeah sure" I said.

We head to the on-call room. I closed the door behind us. All a sudden I was pinned against the door. Alex started kissing me. It was like kissing my brother.

"Alex we can't do this" I stated.

"Why not"? He asked as he kissed my neck.

"Alex I'm serious. We can't do this. It will hurt Meredith" I stated.

He backed away. He looks at me confused.

"Why does this have to concern her"? He asked.

"Alex you will just have to remember what you told me before you lost your memory, okay" I explained.

Alex looks at the ground. Then back up at me.

"Oh sorry. I just got to forward" He sighed.

"Alex it's okay" I said. We left the on-call room.

But who I didn't see was Meredith. She had a pissed look on her face.

"How could you,Cristina"! Mer yelled.

"Mer, It's not what it looks like"! I shouted defensively.

"Ok fine! Then explained to me why you were coming out the on-call room. With messy hair and fixing your scrubs"! Mer yelled fumed.

"Woah, Meredith it's not what it looks like" Alex interrupted.

"Okay, Alex. So what happened then"! Mer snapped.

"I did kiss her" Alex said innocently.

"You kissed her! That doesn't sound like nothing happened"! Mer snapped again.

"But she didn't kiss me back. She told me no and that was it" Alex honestly said.

Mer walked up to me. I was ready for her to hit me.

"Is this true Cris"? She asked. I could hear her heart breaking. Her voice cracked.

"Yes. Mer it's true. I didn't kiss him back. He kissed me and I told him no" I confessed.

Mer doesn't say anything. She just storms away. I could feel tears fall. It's all because that bastard Paul. I just hurt her in the worse way imaginable. And once's Alex remembers. She might still be furious with me and him. Alex won't even remember. What he caused. Alex came up to me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause any of this. I'm still confused and frustrated that I can't remember. I wish I could just remember" He sighed.

"Alex don't blame yourself. You weren't in your state of mind" I stated.

"But I caused this. I messed this up. I shouldn't of flirted with you. That was so insensible of me" Alex stated.

I could hear true regret in his voice. He sounded so sincere. It actually caused me to cry.

"Cristina don't cry" Alex said.

I looked up at him. I wrapped my arms around him. He puts his arms and hugs me. He wiped my tears.

"Thanks Alex" I smiled.

"Your welcome Cristina" He smiled back.

I pulled away from Alex. I told him I had to go find Meredith. He understood. I walked down the hall. I saw Mer crying in the back of the hospital. I slowly walked up to her. Mer saw me. She gave me a cold stare. Her eyes were flamed with anger. I could feel the unwanted feeling. I ignored and sat next to her on the bed.

"Mer I know your really mad at me. And I know what Alex did was wrong. But Alex doesn't even know why your so hurt. He's really confused. I stopped him as soon I felt his lips on mine. Honestly it was like kissing my brother" I explained.

I saw a little smile form on her angry looking stare. She looks up at me.

"Cristina I still can't believe you did that. But I will let it slide. And since you said it was like kissing your brother, I will forgive you" Mer stated trying not to laugh.

"So are we okay"? I asked.

"Yes we are okay" Mer stated with a smile.

I leaned in and wrapped my arms around her. She giggles. I begin to laugh too. "We will be okay. It's just a bump in the road". Alex always used to say that to cheer us up. I felt tears slide through my eyes. I quickly wiped them away before Mer saw. I had to be strong for her. She's still messed up from what happened to her. Honestly anybody would. I had ptsd after the shooting. It caused me to quit my job. It was that bad. Every time something would drop. I would immediately fall to the ground. I was so scared. I could feel Mer's pain on some level. Mer has worse ptsd then me.


	21. Memories

Alex's pov

One Month Later

I still haven't remembered yet. I'm starting remember bits and pieces. Meredith and Cris are fine now. I don't even remember what the fight was about. It is mostly a blur. Nobody will tell me. I guess it wasn't important.

I was getting out bed this morning. I live at Meredith's house now. Like I used to when George moved out. I was walking down the stairs. When I tripped over a rubber duck and slammed my way down. I most of really hit my head really hard. My vision became very blurry. I heard voices yelling. I opened my eyes.

"Alex are you okay" Meredith yelled.

Then someone else came to me.

"Uncle Alex are you okay"? Zola asked.

The voices became less and less audio able. My eyes became heavy. I tried to keep them open. But they shut anyway.

Heavenish

Alex what are you doing here"? Someone asked me.

I turned around and I saw someone I haven't seen for a long time.

"George why am I here"? I asked nervously.

He looked at me with a sad smile. He breathed in the really white air. I could actually see him breathing. I was confused.

"Alex your dead" He stated.

"What not that can't be right. I'm not dead. There's no way I can be dead" I distrustfully sighed.

"Alex He's not kidding" someone else interrupted.

"Mark"? I said in disbelief.

"Yes Alex it's really me" Mark sighed.

"Oh my god, Alex" A women gasped.

"Lexie" I said trying not to cry.

"Alex you shouldn't be here. We have already spoken to Mer one month and two weeks ago" Lexie explained.

"You talk to Mer"? I asked.

"Yes, we did" A talk guy said.

"Oh you got to be kidding me. Denny Duquette" I scoffed.

"Alex I know you never liked me. But Alex you have to understand that this isn't a joke" Denny said seriously.

"Alexander Michael Evan, what are you doing here"? Someone said. I have known that voice from anywhere.

"Father" I gasped.

"Alex you shouldn't be here. Go be with Meredith. The girl you love" My Dad stated.

"How the hell do you know that"? I snapped.

"Alex we see everything"someone else stated.

"Derek"? I shouted.

Oh my god. He knows I love her.

"Yes Alex. Go back. Be with her. I told her to go back to you. Now I'm telling you the same thing" Derek told me.

"What if she doesn't love me"? I asked in heart break.

"Alex trust me, I know she does" Derek said.

"Alex what's your choice? Stay here with us or go be with her" Lexie stated my options.

"I'm going to go back" I said with a smile.

"Alex go be happy. Run" Lexie shouted.

I sprinted straight into the blinding light.

Real life

I woke up in a bed. I had wires hooked onto me. I saw Meredith crying. Oh my god she's alive.

"Alex your alive" Mer exclaimed.

"Mer your alive. When I last saw you. You were on this bed. Lifeless. You were pale and bloody" I stated.

"Alex you collapsed after you said goodbye. Cris told me. She came back and I was awake. Then you woke up not remembering anything. Not me, Cris or the kids. You only remembered Baliey. Who you called the Nazi. You lost about 14 years of memories. After that you still didn't remember after two weeks. And it's been one month and two weeks. You finally remember ed" Mer explained.

I was shocked and couldn't believe I didn't remember her.

"I didn't remember you" I cried.

"Alex it's okay. But you kissed Cristina" she told me.

I looked at her like she was crazy.

"I kissed Yang. No way" I laughed.

Mer wasn't laughing. She had seriousness on her face.

"Alex you did kiss me" Cris interrupted.

"I kissed you"? I asked in disgust.

"Yes Alex and it was like kissing my brother" Cristina laughed.

Mer started laughing too.

"And yeah me and Mer got into it" She stated.

"Why"? I asked curiously.

Cris looked at Mer with this secret language. Mer looked at me. Cris left the room. Mer looks at me and slowly opens her month.

"Alex, I have been thinking a lot about stuff. And when I was kidnapped by Paul. I started to realize all these feelings. And not cause I was scared. I was scared for my life Alex. Alex I start to feel these feelings I have never towards you. It's scaring the crap out of me. But I know it's eating me alive. So I just got to say it. I'm scared that you will leave me. And we stop talking. Okay here I go. Alex I love you. I love you comforting arms around me. I love how you are so good with the kids. But most of all Alex I love you. And I'm scared you will get scared and run off. I never wanted to ruin our friendship. I just had to get this off my chest. I have been holding it in for a long time now. I just was never sure how to tell you. And I just don't want you to let me go. I need my person. I need you Alex. And if you don't feel the same way. It might kill me. But I will get over it. So I'm just going to say it again. I'm in love with you, Alex" Mer confessed as tears fell.

I was shocked. And I did feel the same way. I watched her be with these guys. The thought never crossed my mind that I was in love with her. When she told she slept with Riggs. I felt a bit of jealousy. But It never occurred to me.

Mer kept staring at me. She had this fearful look. I finally decided to breath in. I let out a huge deep breath out. I could feel my heart beating more rapidly the more I thought about her.

"Mer I love you too. I just didn't know how to tell you. After you got hurt in the accident, Cristina asked me if there was anything going on. And I said no. But the more I thought about it. It was gnawing at me. And after you stopped talking to me. It was heartbreaking. I felt that I lost the best person I ever knew. After you were kidnapped. Cris and Maggie had to drag me out of bed every morning. Ellis called me Dada the day after you were kidnapped. I was shocked. But something felt right. I have always wanted to be someone's daddy. I have always wanted a family. I just kept looking in the wrong places. Even though the right place was in front of me. I took me so long to even realize that you were who I wanted. Me protecting you. Was more like a comfort to me. That I knew you wouldn't be harmed. I was so angry when I found out what he did to you. And that he r - a - p - e. - d You. Or whatever he made you. It made me nauseated. The thought of anybody touching you, makes me sick. Riggs touching you. It made me hurt. I just couldn't ever tell you. I was afraid you would freak out" I confessed.

Mer walks up to my bed. She turns my head and cups my chin with her small hands. She leans in and I start to lean in. I couldn't believe this was finally happening. She brings her lips to mine. Our lips connected. Passion flows through as our lips mash together. It felt like sparks. It wasn't like a pleading kiss. It was like years of passion that were building up were finally were released. I put my arm slung around her neck. She moves her lips onto my neck. I let out soft moans. I moved my mouth onto her neck. She lets out a moan. I pulled back. She pulled away. We catch our breaths.

"I love you Mer" I said as I passionately kiss her.

"I love you too, Alex" She replied as she kissed me back.

Mer climbs into my bed. She pulls the cover over her. I wrap my arm around her stomach as she lays ere head on my chest. I could her heart beating. I smiled at her peaceful face. She looks at ease. Having her in my arms it felt amazing. I kissed her forehead before shutting my very tired eyes. I finally have the one thing I have wanted for so long.


	22. Does He Remember?

Mer's pov 

It's been a month since I got back. Alex still hasn't remembered yet. It is so heart breaking. When he flirts with Cristina. I feel so broken. Will he ever remember? I really hope he does.

I heard a big crash. I ran straight towards the sound. I saw Alex barely conscious. I ran to him. I kept the tears from falling.

"Alex are you okay" I yelled.

"Uncle Alex are you okay"? Zola asked.

He's eyes were barely open. I was scared. I can't lose him. He's eyes shut.

"Alex no stay with me, come on Alex" I yelled as tears were streaming down my cheeks.

He didn't wake up. He's eyes remand closed. I looked over to Zola.

"ZoZo call 911" I shouted.

She dialed the number. I started to do compressions. Nothing worked. I pushed up and down until the ambulance arrived. When the arrived he was carried out on a stretcher. I grabbed my purse and the kids. As I was driving I was scared I was going to lose him. We get to the hospital and I saw Alex in bed. I hope he wakes up soon.

I sat next to Alex's bed crying. I started hearing movement. I looked over and Alex look at me in shock. I don't know if remembered or just still confused.

"Alex your alive" I exclaimed.

"Mer your alive. When I last saw you. You were on this bed. Lifeless. You were pale and bloody" He stated.

Omg he remembered. He knows it's me.

"Alex you collapsed after you said goodbye. Cris told me. She came back and I was awake. Then you woke up not remembering anything. Not me, Cris or the kids. You only remembered Baliey. Who you called the Nazi. You lost about 14 years of memories. After that you still didn't remember after two weeks. And it's been one month and two weeks. You finally remembered" I explained.

"I didn't remember you" He cried.

"Alex it's okay. But you kissed Cristina" I told him.

He looked at me like I was crazy.

"I kissed Yang. No way" He laughed.

"Alex you did kiss me" Cris interrupted.

"I kissed you"? He asked in disgust.

"Yes Alex and it was like kissing my brother" Cristina laughed.

I started laughing too.

"And yeah me and Mer got into it" She stated.

"Why"? He asked curiously.

Cris looked at me with this secret language. I looked at Alex. Cris left the room. I look up at Alex and slowly open my month. I'm going tell him. I'm scared that I will ruin everything. But I can't hold it in anymore. It's killing me.

"Alex, I have been thinking a lot about stuff. And when I was kidnapped by Paul. I started to realize all these feelings. And not cause I was scared. I was scared for my life Alex. Alex I start to feel these feelings I have never towards you. It's scaring the crap out of me. But I know it's eating me alive. So I just got to say it. I'm scared that you will leave me. And we stop talking. Okay here I go. Alex I love you. I love you comforting arms around me. I love how you are so good with the kids. But most of all Alex I love you. And I'm scared you will get scared and run off. I never wanted to ruin our friendship. I just had to get this off my chest. I have been holding it in for a long time now. I just was never sure how to tell you. And I just don't want you to let me go. I need my person. I need you Alex. And if you don't feel the same way. It might kill me. But I will get over it. So I'm just going to say it again. I'm in love with you, Alex" I confessed as tears fell.

He looked shocked. Oh no I just ruined things. He hasn't said anything yet. I'm freaking out here. Why did I have to open my stupid mouth.

I kept staring at him. He finally decided to breath in. He let out a huge deep breath out. Then he opens his mouth. I was ready for heartbreak.

"Mer I love you too. I just didn't know how to tell you. After you got hurt in the accident, Cristina asked me if there was anything going on. And I said no. But the more I thought about it. It was gnawing at me. And after you stopped talking to me. It was heartbreaking. I felt that I lost the best person I ever knew. After you were kidnapped. Cris and Maggie had to drag me out of bed every morning. Ellis called me Dada the day after you were kidnapped. I was shocked. But something felt right. I have always wanted to be someone's daddy. I have always wanted a family. I just kept looking in the wrong places. Even though the right place was in front of me. I took me so long to even realize that you were who I wanted. Me protecting you. Was more like a comfort to me. That I knew you wouldn't be harmed. I was so angry when I found out what he did to you. And that he r - a - p - e. - d You. Or whatever he made you. It made me nauseated. The thought of anybody touching you, makes me sick. Riggs touching you. It made me hurt. I just couldn't ever tell you. I was afraid you would freak out" He confesses.

He loves me. I walk up to his bed. I turn his head and cups his chin with my small hands. I leans in and He starts to lean in. I couldn't believe i'm doing this. I brings my lips to his. Our lips connected. Passion flows through as our lips mash together. It felt like sparks. It wasn't like a pleading kiss. It was like years of passion that were building up were finally were released. He put his arm slung around my neck. I move my lips onto his neck. He lets out soft moans. He moved his mouth onto my neck. I let out a moan. He pulled back. I pulled away. We catch our breaths.

"I love you Mer" He said as he passionately kiss me.

"I love you too, I replied as I kissed him back.

I climb into his bed. I pull the covers over me. He wraps his arm around my stomach as I lay my head on his chest. He kissed my forehead before shutting his very tired eyes. I fall asleep in his arms. It felt amazing. I'm so happy with him. After thing I have been through. I was finally at peace. He means the whole world to me. And I was afraid that wanting him would ruin everything. It honestly made things even better.

Cris's Pov

Mer calls me frantically this morning. She tells me Alex fall down the stairs. I raced down to the hospital. Mer has tears in her eyes. Zola was scared. She's a very smart girl. Baliey is confused and Ellis just keeps saying Dada. I walk over to Mer. Who starts crying harder now.

"Mer he's going to be okay" I stated.

"How do you know cris? This isn't the first time something has happened to me" Mer stated angrily.

I take a deep breathe before I take the kids to the kitchen to get a snack. Mer's heartbroken. I don't think she can handle one more disaster. She's been through so much over the years. Alex is her person. I mean I'm still her person. It's just not the same. Me, the kids get our snacks and head back to Mer.

Mer is talking to Alex. Does he remember? Mer is telling Alex. When I hear her telling Alex that he kissed me. This is very awkward. Alex doesn't even remember what happened.

"I didn't remember you" He cried.

"Alex it's okay. But you kissed Cristina" She told him.

He looked at her like She was crazy.

"I kissed Yang. No way" He laughed.

"Alex you did kiss me" I interrupted.

"I kissed you"? He asked in disgust.

"Yes Alex and it was like kissing my brother" I laughed.

Mer started laughing too.

"And yeah me and Mer got into it" I stated.

"Why"? He asked curiously.

I looked at Mer with this secret language. She looked at Alex. I left the room. I took the kids to spend time with Maggie and Amelia. As I was dropping them off. I ran into someone.

"Sorry I wasn't looking where I was going"

Someone said. I turned around and I was in disbelief.

"Izzie" I gasped.

"Cristina"! She gasped.

"Izzie, What are you doing here"? I asked trying to hide my anger.

"I heard that about the fire and I'm having Alex kids" She explained.

"What"! Izzie you can't just walk in here and act like everything is fine. You can't just act like nothing happened. You left 7 years ago and never came back. You didn't keep in touch. I know you were expecting a welcome. But I'm honestly still angry with you. And Alex is finally all fixed up and you want to ruin it by just walking back it his life. No, Your not going to ruin things for Meredith and Alex"! I snapped.

"What's going on with Meredith and Alex"? She questioned.

"Izzie you have been gone a long time. Alex is in love with Mer. She loves him too. After you left, It took a long time to repair the damage you caused" I explained.

"Cristina I don't care! Alex is mine!" Izzie snapped.

"Izzie! He is not yours! He's happy with Meredith. And are you even pregnant with his kids"! I scoffed.

"No, but I'm taking my eggs back. Honestly I'm sorry about not talking to you guys. And I heard about Mer. I called all the time. And when she was found and hearing she was pregnant with that bastard. It just infuriates me" Izzie grumbled angrily.

"Izzie"! I yelled as she walked off.

Izzie is going to ruin everything between them. She can't just come back into his life. It doesn't work like that. She has been gone for some many years. I'm happy she is not dead. It's just I want Mer and Alex happy for once. And taking that away will hurt Mer.


	23. Destruction

Alex's pov

Waking up with Mer in my arms. I can't explain how right it felt. I have been waiting for this moment for years. After Derek died, Mer disappeared for a year. Not having her really sucked.

There was yelling in the hallway. The voices sounded very familiar. I could tell right away one of them was Cris. Why was she yelling? I'm trying to sleep. Sometimes people are so naggy. Then someone came bursting into my room. I was stunned who I saw. It's been years since I since her.

"Izzie"! I blurted.

"Alex, Are you happy I'm here"? Izzie asked in happy tone.

"Alex I'm sorry she just bursted in" Cris apologized.

"God Alex why are you being so loud"! Mer snapped.

"I'm sorry Mer. Good morning baby" I whispered.

"Morning Alex. I love you too" Mer replied as she kissed me.

"God you guys are so gross"! Cris groaned.

"Sorry to interrupt Alex, why the hell Meredith" Izzie sassed.

"Izzie why the hell are you here"! Mer snapped.

"Well I missed you guys" Izzie responded.

I could feel Izzie's eyes staring straight me. I kept ignoring her and she just kept staring. I turned to Mer and mind told her I was sorry. She told me its okay. Maybe sex when you get out of the hospital. I just smirked to myself.

"Izzie it's been seven years and now you decide to come back" I argued.

"Izzie! Why are you here" I repeated as I was seething.

"Well Alex I was wondering if I could have my eggs back" Izzie stated.

"Izzie we aren't married anymore. And your the one who couldn't handle me or my crazy life. Izzie I sent the sample somewhere else when you left and they lost it" I explained.

Izzie took her eyes off the floor and looked straight at me with her red eyes glaring at me. I could feel the anger variate off of me. I was livid she was here talking to me. She's the one who left. Izzie lunged at me. Cris quickly grabbed Izzie and pulled her from me.

"HOW THE FUCK DID THEY LOSE THEM"! Izzie screamed furiously.

"Izzie calm down"! I shouted.

"Don't Izzie Me"! Izzie screamed again as her face turned red as a tomato.

All of a sudden there was a hand to my face. Izzie attacked me with her long nails. I grabbed my cheek and yelled out fuck you.

"Fuck You Izzie"! I yelled fummed.

"Honestly Alex you never learn do you" Izzie scoffed.

Then security stormed in. They carried Izzie away in hand cuffs. She screamed you bastard. I honestly couldn't care less.

"Meredith your such a slut! You're the whore who went after Alex! How long did it take before I was gone? I'm guessing you cheated on Derek with Alex! You were suppose to be my best friend. Now your just some ugly whore who probably is pregnant already! I wouldn't be surprised that you already cheated on Alex! Your that kind of girl. Your a cheater. Don't cha remember prom. I sure hell do. I hate you Meredith Grey"! Izzie yelled all the way down the hall as she was carried out.

Everyone just stared at us. Mer had tears bursting out of her eyes. I looked at her and she sat next to me. I pulled her into my arms and she cried.

Bailey, Webber, Jackson, April, Ameila and Arizona rushed in. They looked around the room and saw my face. Baliey came up to me and fixed my face. I had deep scratch marks from her nails. Jackson took a look at my face.

"What the hell happened"? He asked with a concerned look.

"Izzie lunged at me and yelled at Mer" I explained.

April,Amelia and Cris saw Mer and helped her calm down.

"Mer calm down she's gone" Amy said in a sweet tone.

"Mer what do I always say"? Cris asked.

"That I'm the sun" Mer guppled weakly.

"Mer say it again" Cris said.

"I'm the sun"! Mer cheered.

"That's right" Cris cheered too.

April, Amy and Cris all hugged Mer. Mer starts laughing.

"Alex, Izzie is in jail right now" Baliey informed.

"Thanks" I sighed.

"I always knew she would be the one to go crazy" Cris stated as chuckles came out.

"I agree" Mer laughed.

"I don't even know her and she scares me" Amy implied as she laughed too.

It wasn't long before April started laughing and we all were laughing. I guess laughing is our way to recover from what just happened.

"Well she's the one who cut LVAD wire" I said bursting out laughing.

Mer just started laughing even harder. She couldn't stop laughing. April laughed too and told us that Izzie is something from the devil.

"Izzie is really something from the devil" Apes laughed.

And that caused all of us to laugh even harder. It was about twenty minutes of laughing before the laughing stopped. Izzie is really the destruction of my life. I regret marrying her. She never loved me the way I loved her. She loved that Denny guy more then she ever loved me. Mer and the sisters got lunch and so did April. I looked to Jackson who was silent.

"Jacks, what's going on. You have been silent for about twenty minutes"? I asked.

"Alex I do love April, but how do I tell her I want to get back together"? He asks.

"Jackson, Just tell her you love her. Not telling her is eating you up inside. Damn I really sound like girl" I groaned.

"Thanks Alex. And yes you do sound like a girl" Jackson laughed.

I always wonder if I spend too much time with women. Maybe I should hangout more with the guys. Ben, Jackson and Owen are nice guys to hang with.

Mer's pov

I was wokeing up by loud yells. I was so confused. Why is everyone yelling. I open my eyes slightly. They were a little blurry. I blinked a few times. I notice Alex was sitting up instead of laying next to me.

"God Alex why are you being so loud"! I snapped.

"I'm sorry Mer. Good morning baby" He whispered.

"Morning Alex. I love you too" I replied I kissed him on the lips gently.

"God you guys are so gross"! Cris groaned.

"Sorry to interrupt Alex, why the hell Meredith" Izzie sassed.

"Izzie why the hell are you here"! I snapped.

I was confused why she was here. After all theses years. She decides to come back.

"Well I missed you guys" Izzie responded.

Alex turned to Me and mind told me He was sorry. I told him its okay. Maybe sex when you get out of the hospital. I couldn't just tell he smirked to himself.

"Izzie it's been seven years and now you decide to come back" He argued.

"Izzie! Why are you here" Alex repeated as He was seething.

"Well Alex I was wondering if I could have my eggs back" Izzie stated.

"Izzie we aren't married anymore. And your the one who couldn't handle me or my crazy life. Izzie I sent the sample somewhere else when you left and they lost it" Alex explained.

Izzie took her eyes off the floor and looked straight at Alex with her red eyes glaring at him. Izzie lunged at Alex. Cris quickly grabbed Izzie and pulled her from him.

"HOW THE FUCK DID THEY LOSE THEM"! Izzie screamed furiously.

"Izzie calm down"! He shouted.

"Don't Izzie Me"! Izzie screamed again as her face turned red as a tomato.

All of a sudden there was a hand to his face. Izzie attacked him with her long nails. He grabs his cheek and yelled out fuck you.

"Fuck You Izzie"! He yelled fummed.

"Honestly Alex you never learn do you" Izzie scoffed.

Then security stormed in. They carried Izzie away in hand cuffs. She screamed you bastard.

"Meredith your such a slut! You're the whore who went after Alex! How long did it take before I was gone? I'm guessing you cheated on Derek with Alex! You were suppose to be my best friend. Now your just some ugly whore who probably is pregnant already! I wouldn't be surprised that you already cheated on Alex! Your that kind of girl. Your a cheater. Don't cha remember prom. I sure hell do. I hate you Meredith Grey"! Izzie yelled all the way down the hall as she was carried out.

Everyone just stared at us. I had tears bursting out of my eyes. Alex looked at me and He pulled me into his arms and I cried.

Bailey, Webber, Jackson, April, Ameila and Arizona rushed in. They looked around the room and saw Alex's face. Baliey came up to me and fixed his face. Alex had deep scratch marks from her nails. Jackson took a look at his face.

"What the hell happened"? He asked with a concerned look.

"Izzie lunged at me and yelled at Mer" He explained.

April,Amelia and Cris saw me and helped me calm down.

"Mer calm down she's gone" Amy said in a sweet tone.

"Mer what do I always say"? Cris asked.

"That I'm the sun" I gulped weakly.

"Mer say it again" Cris said.

"I'm the sun"! I cheered.

"That's right" Cris cheered too.

April, Amy and Cris all hugged Me. I start laughing.

"Alex, Izzie is in jail right now" Baliey informed.

"Thanks" He sighed.

"I always knew she would be the one to go crazy" Cris stated as chuckles came out.

"I agree" I laughed.

"I don't even know her and she scares me" Amy implied as she laughed too.

It wasn't long before April started laughing and we all were laughing. I guess laughing is our way to recover from what just happened.

"Well she's the one who cut LVAD wire" Alex said bursting out laughing.

I just started laughing even harder. I couldn't stop laughing. April laughed too and told us that Izzie is something from the devil.

"Izzie is really something from the devil" Apes laughed.

We all stopped laughing . Me and my sisters got lunch and so did April. It has been a long day.April couldn't stop laughing. Which caused us to laugh even more. Honestly I don't spend a lot of time with the girls. Maybe me and Alex need to spend less time together and more with our friends. Its been awhile since I spent time with callie. Maybe I could take a trip to New York. Zola misses Sofia and I miss callie.


	24. Revenge

Izzie's pov

Life is going good. It's been a long time. I'm here waiting outside by the doors. The doors that now say Grey Sloan Memorial. It used to say Seattle Mercy West. It's been years since I left. Alex sent the divorce papers. There is a really big part of me who regrets sending them. I found out he was with Lexie. I found out that Derek died. I spent a week crying. He was Mcdreamy. Mark Sloan was Mcsteamy. They passed away. But they names live on. I walk through the doors. The walls were white. On the wall there was the name. The sign said it was established in 2013. I miss lexie. As I walk down the halls I kept thinking of the good times. Where me, Mer, Alex, Cristina and George were so happy. Before everything turned to shit. I was so focused. I didn't realize I bumped into someone.

"Sorry I wasn't looking where I was going" I stated.

She turned around and She was in disbelief.

"Izzie" Cristina gasped.

"Cristina"! I gasped.

"Izzie, What are you doing here"? She asked.

"I heard that about the fire and I'm having Alex kids" I explained.

"What"! Izzie you can't just walk in here and act like everything is fine. You can't just act like nothing happened. You left 7 years ago and never came back. You didn't keep in touch. I know you were expecting a welcome. But I'm honestly still angry with you. And Alex is finally all fixed up and you want to ruin it by just walking back it his life. No, Your not going to ruin things for Meredith and Alex"! She snapped.

"What's going on with Meredith and Alex"? I questioned.

"Izzie you have been gone a long time. Alex is in love with Mer. She loves him too. After you left, It took a long time to repair the damage you caused" She explained.

"Cristina I don't care! Alex is mine!" I snapped.

"Izzie! He is not yours! He's happy with Meredith. And are you even pregnant with his kids"! She scoffed.

"No, but I'm taking my eggs back. Honestly I'm sorry about not talking to you guys. And I heard about Mer. I called all the time. And when she was found and hearing she was pregnant with that bastard. It just infuriates me" I grumbled angrily.

"Izzie"! Cristina yelled as I walked off.

I'm going to find Alex. I miss him so much. Meredith doesn't deserve him. He is mine and has always been. I walked quickly down the halls and burst into his room.

"Izzie"! Alex blurted.

"Alex, Are you happy I'm here"? I asked in happy tone.

"Alex I'm sorry she just bursted in" Cris apologized.

"God Alex why are you being so loud"! Mer snapped.

"I'm sorry Mer. Good morning baby" He whispered.

I just groan in disgust. I was so hurt Alex went to that slut.

"Morning Alex. I love you too" Mer replied as she kissed him.

"God you guys are so gross"! Cris groaned.

"Sorry to interrupt Alex, why the hell Meredith" I sassed.

"Izzie why the hell are you here"! Mer snapped.

"Well I missed you guys" I responded.

"Izzie it's been seven years and now you decide to come back" Alex argued.

"Izzie! Why are you here" He repeated as He was seething.

"Well Alex I was wondering if I could have my eggs back" I stated.

"Izzie we aren't married anymore. And your the one who couldn't handle me or my crazy life. Izzie I sent the sample somewhere else when you left and they lost it" He explained.

I took my eyes off the floor and looked straight at alex with my red eyes glaring at him. I lunged at him. Cris quickly grabbed Me and pulled me from Alex.

"HOW THE FUCK DID THEY LOSE THEM"! I screamed furiously.

"Izzie calm down"! He shouted.

"Don't Izzie Me"! I screamed again as my face turned red as a tomato.

I attacked Alex with my long nails. He grabbed his cheek and yelled out fuck you.

"Fuck You Izzie"! He yelled fummed.

"Honestly Alex you never learn do you" I scoffed.

Then security stormed in. They carried Me away in hand cuffs. I screamed you bastard. I was so angry. Like how the hell could they lose them.

"Meredith your such a slut! You're the whore who went after Alex! How long did it take before I was gone? I'm guessing you cheated on Derek with Alex! You were suppose to be my best friend. Now your just some ugly whore who probably is pregnant already! I wouldn't be surprised that you already cheated on Alex! Your that kind of girl. Your a cheater. Don't cha remember prom. I sure hell do. I hate you Meredith Grey"! I yelled all the way down the hall as I was carried out.

As I was carried out. They pushed me out the doors. I was put in a back seat. I was so hurt. Alex would do this to me. God I have always hated Meredith fucking Grey. She had eliis Grey as a mother. Yeah she was the worst nightmare. But I was a nightmare dressed as a Day dream. You will see what's coming Meredith. You will see. I thought evilly in my head. She will get what she deserves. "Nobody messes with evil? Why cause it always strikes back" I whispered to myself. She will get what she deserves. There's no way she's taking Alex from me.


	25. Broken

Mer's pov

It's a week since Izzie yelled at me. Alex is finally home. I mean he always was home. This time it's me and him together. Just thinking of him. It just makes my day so much better.

I was getting out of bed. I heard a notification go off on my phone. I slowly reached over to my side trying not to wake up Alex. I picked up my phone and saw a alert. It said that Paul stadler escaped. My heart dropped to the bottom my stomach. I sprinted out of bed. I threw the door open. I raced frantically to the bathroom. I hurled over the toilet. The more I thought about the torture he put me through. I started to throw up more. There was a knock on the door. I wiped my mouth with toilet paper. I flushed the toilet and opened the door. Alex was there. His face was so calm but worried. He opens his mouth.

"Mer, Are you okay"? Alex asks nervously.

I took a big gulp of the sink water before I told him. I knew I had to tell him. I was about to explain. When my eyes gave it away. His face turns hopeful.

"Alex... Paul Escaped" I stuttered as tears escape my eyes.

Alex's face softens. I could actually see tears in his eyes. He quickly wipes them away.

"Mer they will find him. He won't hurt you okay" Alex states with a hopeful smile.

It's the smile he uses with the kids. He leans and kisses my forehead. I look up at him. I press my lips against his soft lips. He pulls away and walks out of the room. I just stand there still worried. I pretend to be hopeful. I just have this horrible feeling something is going to happen. We all know what that means.

I walk down stairs. Alex has the kids already. I grab my purse and head out the door. We get in the car. Alex decides him will drive. I told him I wasn't feeling comfortable to drive. He pulls into the parking lot. I grab Ellis. Zola and Baliey climb out of the car. I watch them run into the building. I bring Ellis to her preschool. I get back into the car. Alex puts the car into drive and we head to the free way.

At Work

Alex pulls into the parking lot. Alex and I get out off the car. I kiss Alex goodbye and go inside. I walk in the doors. Baliey walks up to me. Her face just seems too happy.

"Meredith you know what day it is"? She asked excitedly.

"No, What day is it"? I asked desperately wanting to know.

"It's double transplant day"! Baliey exclaimed as she raised her hand up for a high five.

"That's great"! I exclaimed giving her a high five back.

"I know. Want to scrub in"? Baliey asked.

I didn't even think twice. I was so happy.

"Yeah I will scrub in. This going to be like the last one right"? I asked.

"Ya. Except for no one is going to drop a kidney" She mocked.

"Miranda that was years ago" I explained.

"Yes it was. I was talking about the interns" She defended herself.

"Oh god the interns" I laughed.

"You know I picked the guy who dropped his glasses in the patient" Baliey stated.

"You what"! I said shocked.

"Hey he had the requirements. And he is not bad. He's way better then the others me and Webber interviewed" Baliey explained.

"Yeah He is. The one who we repeat everything he said. She was so annoying. You're not even allowed to have your phone on you" I stated as I was laughing.

Baliey and I head to the patient. When we got there. Alex and jo were there. But not the patient. Where was the patient?

"Alex have you seen our patient"? Baliey asked.

"No I haven't Doctor Baliey" Alex replied.

"Oh there you are Brooke" A voice I knew to well.

"You stay away from her"! Alex threatened.

"Oh no she's not going any where" another voice said.

I turned around to see Paul and Izzie. Fear shot through my blood. The flashbacks spread through my head. His shouts, the cries for help. The hits I took. The horrifying memories shook my body. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.

"Izzie what are you doing here"? I asked.

"Oh Meredith. Why am I here? You know why" Izzie spat bitterly.

I gulped, my heart was pounding so fast. I saw a black handle poking out of her pocket. Before I could even warn them. I was grabbed by Paul. I was screaming.

"Let me go"! I pleaded. He takes my arm and ties it. I knew I was going to die this time. There were no way I could escape. Tears flowed down my cheeks.

"Shut up before I kill her"! Izzie yelled with venom.

"Izzie you don't have to do this" Baliey begged.

"But I do, Dr Baliey" Izzie hissed as she pulled out the gun.

Everyone out there hands up. I tried to beg her to let me live. I opened my mouth.

"Iz, Please do—" I was interrupted by a painful shot to my stomach. I felt myself slammed on the floor on my back.

"Meredith"! Alex yelled.

"Back the hell up"! Izzie yelled.

Alex moved back. I could tell there was tears in his eyes. I could see Izzie move closer to me. She pulled up her gun and shot me again. I was in agony. The bullet this time shot through my leg. My eyes became heavy. I could taste the blood in my mouth. I coughed up more blood. I was struggling to breathe. Izzie and Paul pulled out there guns. This time they both pulled the triggers. I saw two bullets jarred toward me. The bullets both enter. I screamed. My vision became blurry. Izzie and Paul laughed coldly as they left the room. Alex stood wooden. He was almost emotionless. Baliey looked so petrified. Alex runs towards me.

"Mer! Stay wake!" Alex cried.

"Alex call a lock down. Get to my office and hurry" Baliey ordered.

Baliey put her hands over the holes. Blood was coming from all different directions. I weakly tried to keep my eyes open. I could barely see. My eyes were shying to shut.

"Mer no! Stay here! Meredith don't you dare close your eyes. We can't lose you" Baliey begged as tears streamed down her cheeks.

My eyes failed to stay open. I could feel the light blinding on me. I knew it was time. Alex will take care of my kids. He will move on. I don't have much time left. I hear faint yells. I was stuck in something. It was a nightmare of my whole life. I could see my whole childhood. I could hear my mom telling me I was only ordinary and not extraordinary. I could see my mom crying over Richard. I could see my mom trying to kill herself. I could see Lexie dying. And I hear me crying for her. I saw Derek dying. Me running away. Then I saw me being beaten and raped. But I also saw Alex crying. He was sitting at my gravestone. He was on his knees praying. He was also holding Ellis in his arms. I could see Zola and Baliey crying. My heart broke. But I knew it was too late. There was no turning back. I watch as I started to walked to the top of the building. I saw a future. Me and Alex. I had a bump. Alex was a daddy. He was playing with the kids. But I as soon I reached the top it disappeared. Instead I saw Alex and jo. I knew I was too late. "Why do I always damage the people I love" I told the thin air.


	26. Torn By Bullets

Alex's pov

I was just in the room when Baliey and Mer came in asking about a patient.

"Alex have you seen our patient"? Baliey asked.

"No I haven't Doctor Baliey" I replied.

I was so confused. But it was interrupted by a voice.

"Oh there you are Brooke" A voice stated

"You stay away from her"! I threatened.

"Oh no she's not going any where" another voice said.

Mer turned around to see Paul and Izzie. Angry boiled in my blood. I was so angry.

"Izzie what are you doing here"? Mer asked.

"Oh Meredith. Why am I here? You know why" Izzie spat bitterly.

Mer was grabbed by Paul. She was screaming. I wanted to help her. But Izzie shot me cold stares. I tried to keep my eyes from watering.

"Let me go"! Mer pleaded. He takes her arm and ties it. Mer had tears flowing out her blood shot eyes. The tears stained her cheeks.

"Shut up before I kill her"! Izzie yelled with venom.

"Izzie you don't have to do this" Baliey begged.

"But I do, Dr Baliey" Izzie hissed as she pulled out the gun.

Everyone put there hands up. Mer tried to beg her to let her live. She opened her mouth.

"Iz, Please do—" Mer was interrupted by a painful shot to her stomach. Mer slammed on the floor on her back.

"Meredith"! I yelled.

Tears shocked my cheeks. I tried to move but Izzie threw up her gun.

"Back the hell up"! Izzie yelled.

I moved back. I could see Izzie move closer to Mer. She pulled up her gun and shot her again. The bullet this time shot through her leg. Her eyes became heavy. She coughed up more blood. She was struggling to breathe. Izzie and Paul pulled out there guns. This time they both pulled the triggers. I saw two bullets jarred toward Mer. The bullets both enter. She screamed. It was a blood curdling scream. Izzie and Paul laughed coldly as they left the room. I stood wooden. I was scared. I didn't want to replay what happened. I tried to move again. But the memory flashed at me. Baliey looked so petrified. I run towards Mer.

"Mer! Stay wake!" I cried.

Tears were running down both our faces. Baliey looked almost like she lost her happiness. She told me about her double transplant was today.

"Alex call a lock down. Get to my office and hurry" Baliey ordered.

I ran out of the room and quickly raced down the halls. In the distance I could hear more gun shots. I continued to run down the hallway. I tried not to think about the shooting. The one where I was shot. Just thinking about losing Mer was devastating. It was all cause Izzie and her stupid jealously. They shot her multiple times. I don't even know if Mer's still alive. I know Mer's strong but what if she isn't strong enough to fight. Mer please for me. I need you.

I get to Balieys office and send every pager the code yellow. I grabbed the emergency kit. I ran all the way back to Baliey. I kept running. I get back to Baliey. What I see is not what I was hoping. Mer was unconscious. There was blood seeping from the holes. Bailey's clothes were soaked with Mer's blood. Baliey was holding the holes with her hand pressing on the wound. My eyes couldn't stop tearing up. Baliey notices me. Her face turns serious. Baliey takes a deep breath in.

"Alex, she's gone" Baliey said remorsefully.

No this can't be happening. I could barely keep myself from curling up in a ball. Mer can't be gone. I love her. I hate Isobel. She ruined my life. She always has been a psychotic bitch.

"No"! I cried.

"Alex I'm so sorry" Baliey repeated.

"Baliey one more try. And if it doesn't work. Then she's gone. And I can deal. Please just one more try" I begged.

She looks at me and says.

"One more time" Baliey said.

I grab the gurney. Baliey and I place Mer on the gurney. Baliey pages Hunt, Kepner , Riggs, cristina and jo. Cristina is there to make sure I don't try to look in to the O.R. It wasn't long before they all came. Owen and Riggs walked in. Their faces turned shocked. They quickly wiped the look off their faces and started to work. Cris walks in. It look like she had been crying. Jo probably told her what happened. After Jo escaped. She told me she couldn't risk Paul seeing her. Cris sits on the floor next me. Me and her sat on the scrub room floor for what seemed like months. After a 12 hours surgery. I was woken up by Cris. I look up to see Baliey. I couldn't tell by her face what it meant.

"Alex she's fine. She's going to be on a long road of recovery. But she's going to be fine" Baliey states with a smile.

I breathe out. I didn't even realize I was holding my breath. Tears of joy fall out of my eyes. Mer is okay. She's going to be on a long road of recovery. She's alive.

"She's okay" I said with a smile.

"She's great Alex" Baliey exclaimed.

"Did you get the bullets out"? Jo Interrupted.

"Yes we got all 4 bullets out. One of them traveled to her small intestine. We were able to remove it without any damage" Baliey explained.

"But she started bleeding out. We had to do a blood transfusion. Now she is stable. We just don't know if she will wake up" Owen stated.

I stay quiet as they explained. I was still in shock. Everything happened so fast. Will everything be okay?

"Have they arrested Isobel and Paul"? I asked.

"Yes they have. Alex you need to get some sleep. And not on the floor In a bed" Baliey remarked.

"I want Isobel to pay for what she has done" I stated in a bitter tone.

"We all do Alex" Owen and April stated.

It was time for me to go bed. Baliey let me sleep in her office. Amelia and Owen took the kids for the night. I layed my head on the pillow and fell asleep.

Bailey's pov

After Mer was shot. And they left. Alex rushs to Mer. He begs her to stay awake. I watch as Alex's face is covered in tears. He's eyes were blood shot. He keeps begging her to stay awake.

"Alex call a lock down. Get to my office and hurry" I ordered as tears fell from my eyes.

Alex leaves the room. I put my hands over the holes. Blood was coming from all different directions. I weakly tried to keep my eyes open.

"Mer no! Stay here! Meredith don't you dare close your eyes. We can't lose you" I begged as tears streamed down my cheeks.

She shuts her eyes. I start chest compressions. As I push on her chest. Blood would flow out. Each time I push more blood cames out. I press my hands over the bullet holes. I knew I couldn't do chest compressions. She was gone. There was no chance she would come back. I see Alex coming in with the emergency kit. I turn around while holding the holes closed. My face turns serious. I take a deep breath. And breathe out.

"Alex, she's gone" I said remorsefully.

Alex instantly drops the supplies. I could see the tears he was once was holding in. They fell from his eyes.

"No"! Alex cried.

"Alex I'm so sorry" I repeated.

"Baliey one more try. And if it doesn't work. Then she's gone. And I can deal. Please just one more try" He begged.

I look at him and said.

"One more time" I said.

I told Alex that he has to stay in the Scrub room. I paged Hunt, Kepner, Riggs, Cristina and jo. Cristina is there to keep Alex from freaking out. I scrub in and walk into the O.R. I walk over to Mer. This is my second time this year I have operated on Meredith.

"Ten blade" I state. My scrub nurse hands me the ten blade. I make an incision.

"Clamp" I state. She hands me the clamp. I grab the clamp from her hands.

I saw a bullet. I carefully pull it out of the abdomen. After I pull it out. I notice I had to make the incision bigger. I slid the blade down. I guess I cut too deep. Blood started pouring out.

"She's bleeding out" Owen exclaimed.

"Lap pads" I shouted.

I stuff the abdomen with the lap pads to stop the bleeding. We all press down. After the bleeding was under control. Her pressure spiked. The machines started beeping. I grabbed the paddles and pushed on them on her chest.

"Charge to 200"! I ordered.

"Charging to 200"! April stated.

The paddles shocked her. I looked up to the motoer. Her pressure went down. She had a normal heart rate. I continued to explore the abdomen for more bullets. I saw one by her small intestine. I carefully pulled the bullet out. I placed it in the tray.

After 12 hours. We were ready to close up. I had Owen and April close up the abdomen. I exited the O.R and into the scrub room. I told Cristina to wake up Alex. He was asleep on the scrub room floor. I don't even know how he could sleep like that. Alex open _s his eyes. His eyes were pleading for good news._

"Alex she's fine. She's going to be on a long road of recovery. But she's going to be fine" I state with a smile.

"She's okay" Alex said with a smile.

"She's great Alex" I exclaimed.

"Did you get the bullets out"? Jo Interrupted.

"Yes we got all 4 bullets out. One of them traveled to her small intestine. We were able to remove it without any damage" I explained.

"But she started bleeding out. We had to do a blood transfusion. Now she is stable. We just don't know if she will wake up" Owen stated.

Alex stays quiet as we explain. He's eyes were full of hope. But his spirt was still crushed. Izzie really did a number on him. First was Paul and now Izzie. Izzie has always scared me. After the Denny situation she really became scary. Alex and others were such good friends. And then she hooked up with George. My poor sweet George. He was always my favorite.

"Have they arrested Isobel and Paul"? Alex asked.

"Yes they have. Alex you need to get some sleep. And not on the floor In a bed" I remarked.

"I want Isobel to pay for what she has done" He stated in a bitter tone.

"We all do Alex" Owen and April stated.

The next day

Alex was so heartbroken. The truth is we don't even know if she will wake up. Right now she's in a coma. It's going to be a long process. Alex is sleeping in my office. He refuses to go home. It's so heart breaking to watch Alex so broken. I haven't seen him like this in so long. It's was after Meredith was kidnapped. He stop doing surgeries. It was that bad. It took a pretty long time to recover. And now watching someone you love get shot. I watch it too and so did Wlison. I can't imagine not having Ben or he was shot in front of me. Alex won't admit it, he's messed up. The shooting would make anyone messed up. He squims when someone raises anything. I ordered him to go to therapy. He was mad at first. He decided to give it try. I was proud of him being so brave. "Being brave makes you strong".


	27. Shot Once Shot Twice

Alex's pov

It's been a week and Mer still isn't up. I'm starting to worry. They said everything went good. She should be awake now. Izzie and Paul were arrested. They killed 15 people. They hurt about 123 people. She's going on trial for murder and Paul is on trial for murder and sexual assault. I have so much hate for these people. They caused Mer pain and suffering. It makes me so angry that I couldn't of blocked the shots. Yeah I would be the one who was shot. But she would still be alive. Amelia and Owen brought the kids to visit Mer. They have been staying with them. Because I can't deal with much right now. I'm so focused on Mer. I won't eat or sleep. When I try to sleep. I wake up with the worst nightmares. Baliey has been making me go to therapy. Even though I know it won't work. I don't want to lose my job. I really don't want to lose Mer. I want to grow old and have a family. I want to marry Meredith. I need her in my life.

I wake up from my nightmare petrified. I haven't been able to sleep for 4 days. Everytime I try to close my eyes. They won't I will get about two minute and then they jarr up again. I decided to finally get out of bed. I run down stairs to make myself a small bowl of cereal before I head back to the hospital. Baliey told me to go home. She said that she couldn't have me sleep on her couch anymore.

After eating, I get in the car. As I was driving. I notice that Mer left her scrub top in here. I picked it up. I smelled it. It smelled so much like her. I could feel tears starting to form. Little droplets fell onto my cheeks. I tried to wipe them away. But then more tears starting to fall. I couldn't stop them from falling. I started banging my head on the steering wheel. I slammed my fists repeatedly against the wheel. The anger was boiling inside like I was going to explode like a volcano. Why does this happen to me? Why does it always take the ones I love? I put the car back into drive and drove off.

I got to work. Walking in the doors felt different. Maybe it was cause they had to hire new staff. It wasn't that. It was more. Then the thought downed on me. Cristina was walking up to me. Please be good news.

"Hey Alex" Cris said softly.

"Did she wake up yet"? I asked. I really wanted it to be a hopeful smile. She looked at me with her soft brown eyes.

"Yes she did" Cris exclaimed with a huge smile as tears rolled down her cheeks.

I had happy tears rolling down as well. She's alive. My heart was pounding. Mer is alive. Me and her can finally be happy together.

"She's alive" I replied as a smile crossed my face.

Me and Cris raced to Mer's room. I couldn't wait to kiss Mer. I have been waiting all week to know if she is alive. I reach the door and pulled the knob. The door creeked open. Mer slowly moved her head to the door. When Mer saw me. I ran up to the bed and wrapped my arms around her. Mer had tears burning her eyes. Cris followed behind me.

"Alex" Mer croaked.

"Shh, Mer I'm here and I'm never leaving you again" I calmly told her.

"Alex I was so scared of not coming back to you or the kids. The thought of not being with you scared me. I need you Alex and Izzie tried to take you back" Mer explained as tears continued to fall.

"Mer Izzie is gone and so is Paul. They can't get to you anymore. They were able to take out all 4 of the bullets. You're okay. They won't find you. You're safe" I comforted Mer.

Mer grabs me and pulls me closer. We have our arms wrapped around each other comforting each other. Tears fell from ours eyes. Neither of us bothered to wipe them away. We laid there as tears soaked the pillows. I looked up to see Mer with her puffy red eyes. She looked so hopeless. It was making my blood boil. They caused her so much pain. They deserve to rot in prison for rest of their miserable pathetic lives. I lean over and kiss Mer's forehead before drifting off to sleep.

Mer's pov

I woke up in a white hospital room. Cris was laying in the chair next me. My head was killing me. My leg still felt like it was on fire. My ribs hurt. I pulled my blanket off. I lifted my shirt and saw the big scar. Where the bullets use to be. As I tried to sit up. I let out a huge yelp. It was so painful. I guess I woke up Cris l. She opened her eyes. She looked around the room. Her eyes land on me. She stands up and slowly walks over to me. As she walks closer. I could see tears. Her eyes had bags underneath them. She looked exhausted. Cris puts her hands on my chest and cries. Tears begin to fall from my eyes too. I slowly wrap my arms around her. She returns the favor.

"Mer. You scared me. I thought I was going to lose you. I wasn't sure if I had to plan your funeral" Cris cried.

"I'm so sorry. I never meant to scare you. Izzie is a really bitch. I treated her nice and she tried to kill me. Oh and Alex he was scared. I had a feeling something was going to happen. First Paul escapes and then they try to kill me" I explained.

"Mer they had mental problems. They ended up killing 15 people and injuring 123. Mer you were lucky. Alex hasn't left your side. Baliey made him stop sleeping on her couch in her office. Alex had a mental break down" Cris explained.

'Oh my god. They hurt and killed so many. Is jo okay? She has to be okay. How did he escape"? I asked.

"Yes she is okay. And Izzie broke him out of prison. She is also spending more time in prison for breaking a criminal out of prison. Paul won't hurt you. He has been sent to a prison far away from here. The other guy who helped kidnap you has been found. He confessed and he's facing about 49 years" Cristina explained.

He is in prison too. I felt more tears fall. I hate Izzie. I use to be her friend. And she went all crazy on me. I didn't plan to fall for Alex. It was a surprise. It was the best thing I have done in a long time. Alex makes me be myself. I can be competitive and challenging. Alex accepts that. Derek was my first love. He will always be. I can't wait for Alex to find out I'm okay. Cris leaves the room. I lay back down. My back ached from being forced down. My arms hurt from being tied. My throat hurts from having tubes in my mouth.

The door creeked open. I slowly moved my head to the door. I saw Alex. He rand up to the bed and wrapped his arms around me. I had tears burning my eyes. Cris followed behind Alex.

"Alex" I croaked.

"Shh, Mer I'm here and I'm never leaving you again" He calmly told me.

"Alex I was so scared of not coming back to you or the kids. The thought of not being with you scared me. I need you Alex and Izzie tried to take you back" I explained as tears continued to fall.

"Mer Izzie is gone and so is Paul. They can't get to you anymore. They were able to take out all 4 of the bullets. You're okay. They won't find you. You're safe" He comforted Me.

I grab Alex and pull him closer. We have our arms wrapped around each other comforting each other. Tears fell from ours eyes. Neither of us bothered to wipe them away. We laid there as tears soaked the pillows. Alex leans over and kisses My forehead before drifting off to sleep. He looked so peaceful. His eyes had bags under them. He looked like he didn't sleep much either. I layed there thinking how lucky I am to be alive. Maybe I could see myself having his babies. Maybe I would love to be pregnant. I slowly close my eyes.

A few days later 

I was finally released from the hospital. I have been stuck in this bed for so long. Alex walks into the room.

"Mer you ready"? Alex asked.

"Beyond ready Alex" I sighed.

Alex let's out a huge sigh too. He lifts my chin and kisses my forehead. I block his kiss. He gives me a evil spawn smirk. I roll my eyes playfully. He kisses my lips passionately. I kiss back with the same amount of desire.

"Don't tease Meredith" He snapped playfully.

"Oh Evil Spawn stop being such a crab" I mock.

"I'm not being a crab"! He remarks.

"You so are" I laughed.

"Whatever" He grinned.

Alex takes my hand and we walk out the door. He lifts me up. He puts me on his back. He takes me off and we go to the car. After twenty minutes of traffic we finally get home. The kids are not home. They are all still at Owen and Amelia's house. Alex told me that they offered to watch them. Alex picks me up. I demanded him to put me down. He gives a look. I knew of many Alex looks but this one was different. He has this almost perfect smirk before he smiles.

"Alex what is that look for"? I asked confusedly.

"Come on Mer lets do something" Alex smirks again.

"Oh so dirty uncle sal wants to have fun" I mocked as I licked my lips like there were sugar on them.

"Yes Dirty Uncle Sal wants to have some fun" He mocks as he bites his lips sexually.

I got his point. I walked over to the bed and laided down. Alex takes off his shirt. I get up on my knees and pull off my shirt. I get off the bend and get down on my knees and unzip his jeans. He pulls off my pants and panties. I'm only left with a bra on. I pull his pants off. I move up and start kissing his neck. He unhooks my bra and caresses my hair. He moves his hands through my hair. I was craving him. I need him. I wanted him. He climbed on top of me. He presses himself against me. I could feel his dick harden. I lick his ear. He moans. I wrap myself around him. He thrusts in. I scream his name. "Alex"! I screamed. He gives me this irresistible smile. I start getting impatient on how long it was taking him. I pulled my self out and went on top. Alex rolls his eyes and continued to thrust. I licked my lips. I press them against his neck and nip a little. His moans more. He starts screaming my name. "Meredith"! Alex screams as he clenched. My mind was untamed. I couldn't stop myself. We were making love. Alex and I are love making. Alex freakin Karev is making love to me. I was making love with Alex. My best friend. After we were done. He kissed my swollen lips. We were still panting. It was my first time with him like that.

"That was A M A Z I N G" Alex said as he collapsed right beside me.

"Yes it was" I said as I leaned over and pecked his cheek.

I rolled to my side of the bed and sat up. Alex got up and massaged my neck. I rolled my neck back and forth. I had crick in my neck. My neck felt a little stiff.

" I love you Alex" I said as I turned around and kissed him again.

"And I love you, Mer" Alex stated as he hugged me from behind.

It was time to make dinner. Alex went down stairs. I followed him. He was making me a pizza. A homemade pizza. What did I do to have someone like him. I don't know, But I don't regret it one bit. After Alex was done his placed a plate of food on the table in front of me. I look at Alex. I gave him another peck on the check before picking up the pizza. It was so good.

"I thought you only knew how to make waffles"? I asked impressed.

"So you thought I only knew how to make waffles"? He faked being hurt.

"Yes I did" I giggled.

"Stop laughing and eat the pizza already"! He snapped.

I continue to giggle. After my laughing stopped. I grabbed the pizza. Alex kept looking at me. Why is he looking at me? Do I have sauce on my face?

"What? Do I have sauce on my face"? I asked.

"Actually yes and your beautiful" Alex said while smiling at me.

I grabbed the napkin and wiped my face. Then I threw the napkin with sauce on it at Alex. He gives a playful smile and throws it back. This goes on for about 20 minutes. Our game was interrupted by a knock at the door. Alex gets up from his seat. He reaches the door and opens the door. I notice three little kids running towards me. Zola looks at me with a confused face.

"Mommy, Why do you have sauce on your face"? Zola asked while giggling.

"I still have sauce ugh" I groaned and darted my eyes towards Alex who was laughing at me.

"Sorry Mer I just had to" Alex laughed again.

"Oh it's on. Kids let's get him"! I yelled playfully.

"Oh game on"! Alex yelled.

We all started chasing Alex around the house with our dirty napkins. Baliey runs upstairs and comes down with his nerf guns. He hands me one, the other two to Alex and Zola. I started charging at Alex. But Alex lifts me up in the air. He starts laughing. I rolled my eyes. Zola and Baliey drop their guns and run to help me. They start tickling Alex. I get away. I ran away from him giggling. He runs after me and picks me up and spins me.

"Alex put me down"! I said as he start to tickle me.

"Um... How about no"! Alex laughed evilly.

"Alex"! I whined.

"Mer"! He mocks.

"Dada" Ellis giggles.

"Ellie" Alex says.

She races towards him and he picks her up. He starts spinning her until she is dizzy. He sets her down and starts to pick me back up. I felt myself being lifted up. I glared at him angrily. He smirks and puts me back down. Ellis, Baliey and Zola sit down at the table. They were eating Alex's delicious pizza. The kids had pizza sauce on their faces too. Alex gets up and hands them napkins. They wipe their faces. Zola and Ellie giggled.

"Girls your the ones who have sauce now" I tease.

"We know Mommy" The girls giggled.


	28. Too Much

Alex's pov

Mer was released from the hospital today. I walk to her room. When I get there she is has her stuff already to go. She was so eager to get out. I walk into the room.

"Mer you ready"? I asked.

"Beyond ready Alex" She sighed.

I let out a huge sigh too. I walk over to her and lift her chin and kisses her forehead. She blocks my kiss. I give her a evil spawn smirk. She roll her eyes playfully. I kiss her lips passionately. She kissed back with the same amount of desire.

"Don't tease Meredith" I snapped playfully.

"Oh Evil Spawn stop being such a crab" She mocked.

"I'm not being a crab"! I remark.

"You so are" She laughed.

"Whatever" I grinned.

I take her hand and we walk out the door. I lift her up. I put her on my back. I take her off of me and we go to the car.

After twenty minutes of traffic we finally get home. The kids are not home. They are all still at Owen and Amelia's house. I picks her up. She demanded me to put her down. I give her a look.

"Alex what is that look for"? She asked confusedly.

"Come on Mer lets do something" I smirk again.

"Oh so dirty uncle sal wants to have fun" She mocked as She licked her lips like there were sugar on them.

"Yes Dirty Uncle Sal wants to have some fun" I mock as I bite my lips sexually.

She walked over to the bed and laided down. I take off my shirt. She got up on her knees and pulling off her shirt. She got off the bed and gets down on her knees and unzip my jeans. I pull off her pants and panties. She pulls my pants off. She moved up and started kissing my neck. I unhook her bra and caresses her blonde hair. I move my hands through her hair. I climbed on top of her. I presses myself against her. She licks my ear. I moan. She wrapped herself around me. I thrust in. She screams my name. "Alex"! She screamed. I give her this irresistible smile. She started getting impatient on how long it was taking me. She pulled herself out and went on top. I roll my eyes and continued to thrust. She licked her lips. She presses them against my neck and nipped a little. I moan more. I started screaming her name. "Meredith"! I screamed as I clenched. After we were done. I kissed her swollen lips. We were still panting. It was my first time with her like that.

"That was A M A Z I N G" I said as I collapsed right beside Mer.

"Yes it was" She said as She leaned over and pecked my cheek.

She rolled to her side of the bed and sat up. I got up and massaged her neck. She rolled her neck back and forth. I think she had crick in her neck.

" I love you Alex" She said as She turned around and kissed me again.

"And I love you, Mer" I stated as I hugged her from behind.

It was time to make dinner. I went down stairs. Mer followed me. I was making her a pizza. After I was done I placed a plate of food on the table in front of her. She look at Me. She gave me another peck on the check before picking up the pizza.

"I thought you only knew how to make waffles"? She asked impressed.

"So you thought I only knew how to make waffles"? I faked being hurt.

"Yes I did" She giggled.

"Stop laughing and eat the pizza already"! I snapped.

She continued to giggle. After her laughing stopped. She grabbed the pizza. I kept looking at her. She had pizza sauce all over her face. I swear she's just like the kids.

"What? Do I have sauce on my face"? She asked.

"Actually yes and your beautiful" I said while smiling at her.

She grabbed the napkin and wiped her face. Then She threw the napkin with sauce on it at me. I gave a playful smile and threw it back. This goes on for about 20 minutes. Our game was interrupted by a knock at the door. I got up from my seat. I reached the door and opened the door. I notice three little kids running towards Mer.

"Mommy, Why do you have sauce on your face"? Zola asked while giggling.

"I still have sauce ugh" She groaned and darted her eyes towards me as I was laughing.

"Sorry Mer I just had to" I laughed again.

"Oh it's on. Kids let's get him"! She yelled playfully.

"Oh game on"! I yelled.

They all started chasing me around the house with their dirty napkins. Baliey runs upstairs and comes down with his nerf guns. He hands Mer one, the other two to me and Zola. Mer started charging at Me. But I lift her up in the air. I start laughing. She rolled her eyes. Zola and Baliey drop their guns and run to help her. They start tickling me. She gets away. She ran away from me giggling. I run after her and pick her up and spins her.

"Alex put me down"! She said as I start to tickle her.

"Um... How about no"! I laughed evilly.

"Alex"! She whined.

"Mer"! I mocked.

"Dada" Ellis giggles.

"Ellie" I say.

She races towards me and I pick her up. I started spinning her until she is dizzy. I set her down and start to pick Mer back up. She glared at me angrily. I smirk and puts her back down. Ellis, Baliey and Zola sit down at the table. They were eating My delicious pizza. The kids had pizza sauce on their faces too. I got up and hand them napkins. They wipe their faces. Zola and Ellie giggled.

"Girls your the ones who have sauce now" Mer teased.

"We know Mommy" The girls giggled.

The Next Day 

Me and Mer have to go to therapy. Mer has been going for a couple days now. I still have nightmare myself. I was getting out of bed when my phone rang. I picked it up.

"Hello"? I said.

"Hello, Alex miss me" Izzie said sweetly.

I felt my heart pounding. Her voice was just enough to make me feel petrified. My stomach started feeling queasy.

"What do you want Isobel"? I demanded.

"Oh Alex I just wanted to talk" Izzie said.

"Why won't you just leave us alone"! I snapped.

"Because I love you" Izzie expressed.

"I don't love you. I stopped so long ago. You tried to ruin my life. You came back and destroyed everything. I was happy without you. So leave me alone. Don't call me again"! I snapped and hit end call.

I felt so much power. I felt strong again. Izzie was locked up and can't hurt us anymore. Mer is still recovering. She may say she's fine, deep down she is a mess.


	29. Filled Lungs

Mer's pov

I woke in bed with Alex's arms wrapped around stomach. Yesterday was so fun. Alex and the kids having a war. Even though I was deafeted by Alex. I will get my revenge. I rolled over on my back and faced Alex, who had his eyes staring at my neck. He had this look on his face. It was a mischievous grin. He smiles as he leans down to kiss my neck softly. I look over at him and press a kiss on his lips. He rolls on his back and looks up at the ceiling.

"Mer I love you so much" He whispers softly.

"Alex, I love you too" I state as a smile crossed my face.

I got up from the bed and headed down to the kitchen. The kitchen was still a mess. Paper towels everywhere, nerf balls scrattered acrossed the room. The room was a disaster. I walked to up the sink and put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. After I turned on the dishwasher. In the distance I could hear my phone ringing. I walk to the living room and answered the phone.

"Hello,this is doctor Meredith Grey" I answered.

"Hello" Someone voiced in a pitiful tone.

I could hear the poison on the other line. The voice was so wicked. I could feel my blood freeze. My heart pounded in my chest. All the horrifying memories started to haunt my brain. The images flashed painfully into my eyes like lightning struck my arms. My arms felt like jelly. My throat felt dry.

"W-h-o is this"? I stuttered weakly.

The person on the other line breathed a harsh breath. I could feel my body freezing in place. I couldn't move. It was like I was stuck in time.

"You know who I am Brooke" Paul mocked.

All of my nightmares struck my brain. I could feel his hands grabbing me forcefully. His voice burned into my thoughts. I felt my blood run cold. The sex room, him beating me made freeze in my brain. It was like I was trapped in his spell.

"What do you want from me"? I asked trying to regain my strength.

"Oh Brooke. You think you got away. It's far from over" He menced.

"Why are you doing this"! I demanded.

"Oh Brooke. When I get out. You will pay" Paul taunted as he laughed evilly.

I felt tears burn onto my cheek. I could hear my breathing quicken. I could also hear Alex calling me.

"Mer"! Alex called.

I didn't respond. I just stood there with the phone in my hand. I was frozen in place.

"Meredith" Alex yelled again.

Alex then came running down the stairs. Alex ran over to me. He noticed tears in my eyes and snatched the phone out of my hands. As he brought the phone to his ear. His face turned into a scowl when he heard who was on the other line. As I laid my head on his chest. I could feel his heart was pulsing. His face was red. His breath became ridged. He cleared his throat harshly.

"Leave Meredith alone"! He bellowed and slammed the phone down.

He wrapped his arms around me protectively, but not too strong. He didn't want to crush me with the anger that was raging in him. I felt safe in his arms. Alex pulled away and look into my eyes. He wiped the falling tears from my eyes. He kissed my forehead gently before cleaning is throat.

"Mer he won't get you. I will do anything in my power for that not to happen. You're safe. I won't let them ruin our lives" he calmly comforts.

"Alex I'm scared. I'm scared every night I go to sleep. I petrified to go anywhere. I haven't even stepped a foot in the hospital since I was released" I numbly stated as tears flowed down my face.

"Mer you're safe I won't let them. I love you too much. I can't lose you again" he says sweetly as he wraps his arms around my waist.

In his arms I felt so protected. I always do. Alex would never let anything bad happen to me. He beat up duluca because he thought he was hurting her. Yeah he really did damage. He felt really bad. Him and Andrew are all fine. Not my fine. I'm still shaken up. Having a gun to you can really mess someone up. I haven't been able to fully admit it out loud. Part of me is petrified that he will get out of prison again. Every time I close my eyes, I start to think of the horrible things he did to me. One of Alex's doesn't know. Cris knows, but not Alex. If I tell him. I don't know how he will react.

I pull away from his grasp and kiss him softly on the lips. He gets up from the ground. The ground I broke down crying on. The pain from slamming down on the living room floor. My knees still felt like they would buckle any bump from the air around me. He put out his arm and pulled me up from the floor. I got up and grabbed on to him. Alex's arms wrapped around my waist tightly. I could tell Alex knew something was up.

"Mer it's going be okay, I won't let anything happen to you" Alex soothing says as he rubs my back.

"I know. I just so scared Alex" I say in almost a whisper.

"Mer, Izzie called me" Alex says with a frown.

I started to feel my lungs filing with air. It was like I couldn't breathe. I could hear Alex telling me to breathe. My heart was pounding. The fear reached my mind. My brain was clouded with poising memories. It flashed so quickly. I didn't even notice that Alex was shaking me. It was like I stuck in this nightmare. Alex was shouting. But I started to panic.

"Mer"! Alex shouted as he was shaking me.

I continued to stare in space. It was like I was gone and my brain was being taking over. My mind was being controlled by a poisonious memories. Alex's shouts sound more like murmurs. I started seeing spots and my eyes closed tightly. All I could hear was Alex's frantic cries and begging me to stay awake.

"Mer! Please stay with me! Okay I need you to stay awake" Alex cried.

But nothing was going to shake me out of this dark pit of horror. I think I was too scared I actually stopped my heart. I have no idea how I did it. But it's too late.


	30. Triggered Frozen

Alex's pov

After I got off the phone. My anger was still at my boiling point. I noticed when I went back to my room, Mer wasn't there. Earlier I thought I heard her in the kitchen. I walked out of room. I slowly crepted down the creaky old stair case. I have always wondered why we never fixed the broken stair. The stair never stops creaking. It's really annoying sometimes when your trying to be quiet. Step by step the sound of crying became more clear. I couldn't tell who was crying. I could also hear Mer demanding someone to leave her alone. I immediately went from calm to concerned. I ran quickly down the stairs not caring if I was making too much noise.

"Mer"! I called.

I got no response. I started to feel worried. When I got to the last step I could see Mer had tears in her blue eyes. Her eyes were once filled with life. But her eyes are no longer filled with life. It was like a ghost to over her. A horrible posioning heartbreak of terror made her feel so powerless. The Meredith I knew wouldn't of let anybody take over her. She wouldn't let nobody be better than her.

I snatched the phone out of her hands. As I brought the phone to my ear. My face turned into a scowl when I heard who was on the other line. As Mer laid her head on my chest. My breathing became ridged. I cleared my throat harshly. I could hear his wicked laugh. It was stomach turning.

"Leave Meredith alone"! I bellowed and slammed the phone down.

I wrapped my arms around her protectively, but not too strong. I didn't want to crush her with the anger that was raging in me. I pulled away and look into her eyes. I wiped the falling tears from her eyes. I kissed her forehead gently before clearing my throat.

"Mer he won't get you. I will do anything in my power for that not to happen. You're safe. I won't let them ruin our lives" I calmly comforted her as I rock her in my arms.

"Alex I'm scared. I'm scared every night I go to sleep. I petrified to go anywhere. I haven't even stepped a foot in the hospital since I was released" she numbly stated as tears flowed down her face.

"Mer you're safe I won't let them. I love you too much. I can't lose you again" I said sweetly as I wrap my arms around her waist.

She pulls away from my grasp and kisses me softly on the lips. I get up from the ground. I put out my arm and pulled her up from the floor. She got up and grabbed onto me. My arms wrapped around her waist.

"Mer it's going be okay, I won't let anything happen to you" I soothing said as I rubbed her back.

"I know. I just so scared Alex" She says in almost a whisper.

"Mer, Izzie called me" I state with a frown.

Mer starts to panic. Then it stops. Mer is staring blankly. It was like she was gone. I started shaking her. At first it was gently. I would shift one way and then the other. Tears were burning angrily against my red flushed cheeks. I started to shake a little more.

"Mer"! I shouted as I was shaking Mer awake.

She continued to stare in space. It was like the Meredith I knew and loved was gone. But I knew I couldn't give up.

"Mer! Please stay with me! Okay I need you to stay awake"! I cried as I continued to shake her.

I grabbed the phone that I slammed down. I dialed 911. I put the phone up to my ear with my shaky hand trying to keep it steady. "Hello what's your emergency"? The operator asked. "My names Alexander Karev. My girlfriend, Meredith Grey is having trouble breathing", I explained in a panicked tone. "Okay sir, Please stay calm" she ordered calmly. "Okay, my address is Sea Lake West Ave" I told them trying to keep the emotions from getting caught. "Okay, Sir we will send someone your way, Okay" She stated.

I hung up the phone and just started crying. I have cried so much for her. But this time I feel like this might be the last time I will see her alive. Just the thought of that is making my stomach want to hurl. I stood up and quickly raced to the closets bathroom. I lifted the lid of the toilet and puked. All of my stomach contents were gone. I sat back against the white wall and the tears continued to well up my eyes. I heard a few sharp knocks on the front down. I slowly sat up from the cold now icy filled floor. I wiped my eyes and went to the front door. I knew as soon as I opened the door. Mer would be carried away in ambulance. I opened the door, once I opened it I felt a cold breeze of the Autumn Day blow at my face. The two men carried Mer from the ground and picked her up. They put her on the stretcher and closed the doors behind them. When that door shut, I felt my world starting to crumb right in front of me. It was like I had weights on my feet tying me down. I stared at the floor where Mer's was once laying. I got up and grabbed the keys. Once I got in the car. I grabbed my phone. I couldn't bring myself to dial the number. But I knew I had to. My hands were shaking.

"Alex where are you"? Cris questioned.

"Cristina Mer's, in— t—h—e hospital" I stuttered out as fresh tears fell onto my iced cold cheeks.

"Alex, what do you mean? Is she okay? Alex speak" She asked not even trying to hide the panic in her voice. It was so noticeable. It broke my heart more.

"No, she's not okay. I need you to come pick me up. I don't think I should drive. She was doing so good. And then she got a call from Paul and I got a call from Izzie. She started to panic. Cris she had this stare. I was trying shake her out of it." I explained as more tears burned my cold cheeks as I sat onto the iced pavement.

"Okay Alex, I will pick you up. I will be there in 10 mins" Cris stated.

She hung up the phone. I sat on the iced pavement. The chilling air froze once it touched my cheeks. Every breathe was like I was breathing in dry ice. It would burn each time I drew a breath in. I could hear a faint whisper. It sent chills down my spine. Cars passing by seemed to be frozen in place when my eyes would follow it. Then it sped up again. It seemed like I was frozen in time. Minutes passed that felt like hours. A blue Jeep drives up. The Jeep stops and Cris steps out. I looked up and I could tell her eyes were glossed with tears. She sat next to me on the step. She drew a deep breathe before wrapping her tiny arms around my muscular frame.

"Alex I'm sorry. She was doing so good. I tried to get her as fast as I could" Cris says as I rested my head on her shoulder.

"This just isn't fair. It doesn't make sense. Why do they want to torture us more? Like have they done enough. I'm sitting her on the steps, while she's fighting for her life. How is this fucking fair!" I hissed out a painful cry.

"I don't know Alex. But you have to stay strong" Cristina breaks the silence as she pets my head softly.

"How many times do I have to lose her"! I snapped as a more tears wrecked my eyes. It was like they were on fire.

"I know Alex, life isn't being fair. But you have to stay strong. She's going to need you to be her rock. Someone she can fall back on when she can't take anyone, Okay" Cristina stated as she pulled me up from the ground and lead me to her car. We get in the car. As we drive, it starts to snow. The windshield had flakes of snow partly melting. I watched the now snow covered roads as I thought about Mer. Is she going to okay? She has to be okay. I can't live without her. When we finally get to Grey Sloan, Mer is stable.

"Is she okay"? Cris asks doctor Baliey in a calm tone.

"She is stable. Her heart rate was through the roof. She is okay now. Maggie says that her levels were elevated. Now they are back to normal" I heard Baliey explain to Cris as I was laying next to Mer.

"Did stress cause her to go in to shock"? Cristina asked curiously.

"It could be a possibility. Her organs were starting to shut down. She didn't crash this time. She is going to be in the ICU. She needs rest. Alex can stay with her. Even tho he isn't blood relative family. He is still her emergency contact." Bailey stated as she looks over at me with remorse in her eyes. It was almost like she could read my pain.

While sitting by her bedside. I heard moans of pain. I looked over to see what it was. Mer was looking at me. I moved closer to her and pulled off her mask. I smiled at her as tears welled behind my eyes. She shifted slightly as tears flowed down her pale cheeks. Her eyes now looked bloodshot. She was still panicking. I started to worry. What is happening? Is she okay? I was internally freaking out. She begins to open her mouth slowly.

"A-l-e-x" Mer mumbles softly as I caress her cheeks with both my hands.

"It's okay I'm here. Shhh it's okay" I calmly put my finger to her lips.

She begins to relax in my arms. I could feel her pulse stop racing. I was so relieved that she was okay. "Alex I'm sorry I scared you. I didn't mean to. It was that it was just too much to take in at one time. I was scared and I caused myself to go into shock" she apologizes as more tears poke through her tired eyes.

"It's okay, I'm not mad. I was terrified I was going to lose you, but not mad at all. Don't ever think I was mad at you, Okay" I reassure her as I kissed her softly on the lips. She kisses back softly and pulls back. She lets out a breath before speaking again. "Okay" she smiles as a smirk crossed her face.

All I cared about was that she was okay. I was so shaken that I cried on yang's shoulder. I don't even know if I can handle another tragedy. Mer and I have been through so much over the past 14 years. Mer's been through hell. Every single one of her situations popped into my head when she was laying unconscious in that hospital bed. The bomb, drowning at the faire, the shooting, losing her baby, the ambulance, the plane crash, her being attacked, the car accident and her being kidnapped Are was too much to take. I didn't want to go through that again. I can't stand anything happening to her or the kids. I really did want to kill Paul but Mer told me that I just have to let him rot in prison. I know Mer was right, but after thing she went through I can't stand him not getting punished. There's still all this unresolved anger boiling up inside me. I know that I just have to let it go. A part of me still is having trouble letting it all go. It's not just something you can forget happened. Its bad enough with Mer's nightmares attacking her. Her screaming everytime. And me living in daily fear, torture that something is going happen and I will lose Mer all over again. It's only been a couple days since Mer was released from the hospital and she's already back.

I look over and Mer's asleep. She needs rest. Baliey told me that she is concerned Mer might be depressed. "What do you mean, Mer's depressed"? I asked trying not to let my thoughts cloud my judgment. "Alex, I know you don't want to hear this. But you have to, Mer has shown signs of depression. Maybe it's due to the shooting and she also has a little bit of PTSD. She developed when Derek was shot in front of her" Baliey informed as she gently placed her hand on my shoulder. At this point the tears I was desperately trying to hold in bursted out. All the emotions were too much at one time. I felt my chest get a sharp pain. My vision became a little bit blurry. "Alex are you okay"? Baliey asked as a faint panic crossed her face as she tried to hide it but I saw that she was in complete panic mode. I shook my head and she raced and hit the code blue button. Not even seconds later nurses rushed in. "Alex you are having a heart attack" Baliey shouted as I fell into complete black out.


	31. Tick Tick Beeep

_**Bailey's pov**_

I just told Alex that Mer is depressed and has PTSD. "What do you mean, Mer's depressed"? He asked. "Alex, I know you don't want to hear this. But you have to, Mer has shown signs of depression. Maybe it's due to the shooting and she also has a little bit of PTSD. She developed when Derek was shot in front of her" I informed as I gently placed my hand on his shoulder. He starts crying. "Alex are you okay"? I asked as a faint panic crossed my face as I tried to hide it but He saw that I was in complete panic mode. He shook his head and I raced and hit the code blue button. Not even seconds later nurses rushed in. "Alex you are having a heart attack" I shouted as He fell into complete black out. I placed the paddles on his chest. Tears were falling quickly onto my cheeks. I tried to wipe them away.

"Woah what's going on here"? Someone asked behind. I looked behind me. There was Cristina standing there. She dropped the pudding on the floor as she slid against the door. Her eyes were red and puffy.

"Baliey what happned"? Cristina asked as her voice strained. I handed webber the paddles, took Cristina and lead her to the door. Her eyes were pleading for me to answer. "He had heart attack". I stated as I kept the emotion out of my voice as best as I could. She broke down more. "How could this happen. He was just fine"? She yelled as tears stained her cheeks and fell on my scrubs. "I'm so sorry Cristina. We are going to do everything we can. We can't lose another one of my kids. First George and now Alex" I cried. "Is he stable now"? Cristina asks with pleading eyes. I look back in the room. The modater showed that he was now stable. "He's stable" I stated. "Oh that's good" Cristina sighed in relief. Me and Cristina walk into his hospital room. She walks slowly over to Alex and curls up next to Alex.

"Alex don't keep doing this. I can't handle all of this. It's been a very tough year. I need you to stay strong and wake up. Mer's fine. She's being released tomorrow. So do this for me and Mer. We need you, Okay" Cristina begged as tears streamed down her cheeks and onto his hospital gown. Watching Cristina cry on Alex was so upsetting. Why is this all happening? How could this happen? We were just fine. "Alex you heard her. Don't give up. We need you" I begged as tears broke through my eyes.

 ** _Maggie's pov_**

A lot has happened since that car accident a year go. Mer was kidnapped, Alex completely fell apart, Mer was found, Alex had a panic attack and lost his memory, Mer was shot and now Alex's is in the hospital again. How can this be happening? Is this justified? How can this world be so fucked up? I don't get it. I came here to meet my family. And yes I met them and love them. But after tremendous amount of torture. I still feel like I'm broken. Being broken doesn't mean you're incapable of being hurt. It took me months to get Alex to get out of his little hole he dug himself. Alex wasn't the same after Mer was kidnapped. He completely shut down. He wasn't the same sarcastic guy I met. Cristina told me that he turned into this shallow guy. I have heard many stories about Alex over the years, about his playboy days and manwhore adventures. That nothing ever knocked him down. Well until Izzie destroyed his world. Then Paul took the one thing, that he cared, loved the most. He took his spirt, when he kidnapped Meredith.

I sat by his bedside. I watched Baliey and Cristina with their bloodshot eyes. Alex's eyes still didn't move. The life support machine was breathing for him. None of us have told Mer yet. Some of us are scared in how she will react. Mer keeps asking and I don't have the heart to tell her that her love her life is laying in a hospital bed with tubes and wires connected to his body. That he is laying here possibly lifeless. The tubes and wires hang off the bed as the nurses put more fluids. As I lay next to Alex's bed, I could hear his breathing. My eyes move towards Alex. His eyes open gently. I wipe my eyes and he looks around the room. "Mags" Alex whimpers as I hug him too tightly. "Alex" I let out a huge sigh of relief as tears drop to my cheeks. "Maggie don't cry, I'm fine. It was just too much stress" Alex expressed as he wiped the tears away. I sucked in the rest of the tears and moved slowly closer to his bed. I wrapped my arms around him tightly. "Alex don't do that again"! Cris yelled from the door way. I pulled my arms away from Alex. He slowly sits up in his bed. Cris practically almost tripped as she raced over to his side. The tears I was holding broke lose. It seemed like the whole room was crying.

 **Cris's Pov**

"Alex where are you"? I questioned. I could hear him stuttering. The stuttering made my stomach cringe.

"Cristina Mer's, in— t—h—e hospital" He stuttered out.

"Alex, what do you mean? Is she okay? Alex speak" I asked not even trying to hide the panic in my voice.

"No, she's not okay. I need you to come pick me up. I don't think I should drive. She was doing so good. And then she got a call from Paul and I got a call from Izzie. She started to panic. Cris she had this stare. I was trying shake her out of it." He explained.

"Okay Alex, I will pick you up. I will be there in 10 mins" I stated.

I hung up the phone. I quickly got to my car. As I was driving, my hands would shake. I turned the corner. I felt the car jerk. I was able to pull myself out of shock. I got the car back on the road. I pulled up to Mer's house. As I got out of the jeep. I saw Alex siting on the iced step. My heart started to beat faster. I sat next to him on the step. I drew a deep breathe before wrapping my tiny arms around his muscular frame.

"Alex I'm sorry. She was doing so good. I tried to get here as fast as I could" I said as He rested his head on my shoulder.

"This just isn't fair. It doesn't make sense. Why do they want to torture us more? Like have they done enough. I'm sitting her on the steps, while she's fighting for her life. How is this fucking fair!" He hissed out a painful cry.

"I don't know Alex. But you have to stay strong" I break the silence as I pet his head softly.

"How many times do I have to lose her"! He snapped as a more tears wrecked his eyes. It was like they were on fire.

"I know Alex, life isn't being fair. But you have to stay strong. She's going to need you to be her rock. Someone she can fall back on when she can't take anyone, Okay" I stated as I pulled him up from the ground and lead Alex to my car. We get in the car. As we drive, it starts to snow. When we finally get to Grey Sloan, Mer is stable.

"Is she okay"? I ask doctor Baliey in a calm tone.

"She is stable. Her heart rate was through the roof. She is okay now. Maggie says that her levels were elevated. Now they are back to normal" Baliey explain to Me as Alex was laying next to Mer.

"Did stress cause her to go in to shock"? I asked curiously.

"It could be a possibility. Her organs were starting to shut down. She didn't crash this time. She is going to be in the ICU. She needs rest. Alex can stay with her. Even tho he isn't blood relative family. He is still her emergency contact." Bailey stated as she looks over at Alex with remorse in her eyes. It was almost like she could read his pain.

Mer wakes up. Everything was fine. When I got back to see chaos all around me. My eyes blurred with tears. My chest tightened. My legs felt like jello. "Woah what's going on here"? I asked. Baliey turns around. When she moved. I saw who was laying in the bed unconscious with moderators, wires hooked up to his body. I dropped the pudding on the floor as I slid against the door. My eyes were red and puffy.

"Baliey what happned"? I asked as my voice strained. She handed webber the paddles, and lead me to the door. As I was waiting for Baliey to tell what the hell was going on. "He had heart attack". She stated as She kept the emotion out of her voice as best as She could. I broke down more. "How could this happen. He was just fine"? I yelled as tears stained my cheeks and fell on my scrubs. "I'm so sorry Cristina. We are going to do everything we can. We can't lose another one of my kids. First George and now Alex" She cried. "Is he stable now"? I asked with pleading eyes. Baliey looked back in the room. The modater showed that he was now stable. "He's stable" She stated. "Oh that's good" I sighed in relief. Baliey and I walk into his hospital room. I walk slowly over to Alex and curl up next to Alex.

"Alex don't keep doing this. I can't handle all of this. It's been a very tough year. I need you to stay strong and wake up. Mer's fine. She's being released tomorrow. So do this for me and Mer. We need you, Okay" I begged as tears streamed down my cheeks and onto his hospital gown. "Alex you heard her. Don't give up. We need you" Baliey begged as tears broke through her eyes.

I let the room to check on Mer. She was still sleeping. I decided to check on Alex one more time to see if anything changed. He has to wake up. I don't know how I can tell Mer that he is gone? I kept my eyes on the walls as I walked. I reached his room. My eyes begin to well up with hot tears. Alex don't do that again"! I yelled from the door way as more tears fell. He slowly sits up in his bed. I practically almost tripped as I raced over to his side. His arms automatically wrapped around me.

"Cris, Shh, I'm okay" Alex soothing said as he rubbed my back. "How can I s—t—o—p crying" I cried the stuttering tears. He stays silent for a couple seconds before he opens his mouth. He cleared his throat. "Cris, you're the strongest person I know, well besides Mer. You won't let things bring you down. If you did, you wouldn't be the successful surgeon like you are" Alex replied. What he said made me laugh. All the pain just went away. "You're very funny evil spawn" I giggled uncontrollably. He rolls his eyes but starts laughing as well. "So are you, Twisted sister" he mocked. Which caused me to roll my eyes too. But I still didn't stop laughing.


	32. Abandonment Issues

Mer's pov

I woke up with a blinding light burning into my corneas. My arms ached, my head was throbbing. I opened my eyes and saw Alex curled up restlessly on the chair next to my bed. Baliey was thoroughly looking at my charts. I saw Alex looking at me. He moved closer to me and pulled off my mask. He smiled at me as tears welled behind his eyes. I shifted slightly as tears flowed down my pale cheeks. I was still panicking. I could tell he starting to worry. I begin to open my mouth slowly.

"A-l-e-x" I mumbled softly as He caress my cheeks with both his hands.

"It's okay I'm here. Shhh it's okay" He calmly put his finger to my lips.

I begin to relax in his arms. I could feel her pulse stop racing. "Alex I'm sorry I scared you. I didn't mean to. It was that it was just too much to take in at one time. I was scared and I caused myself to go into shock" I apologized as more tears poke through my tired eyes.

"It's okay, I'm not mad. I was terrified I was going to lose you, but not mad at all. Don't ever think I was mad at you, Okay" He reassures me as He kissed me softly on the lips. I kissed back softly and pulled back. I let out a breath before speaking again. "Okay" I smiled as a smirk crossed my face. Alex leaves the room. I slowly shifted in the uncomfortable hospital bed. I have always hated sleeping in theses bed. When I was in my intern year, we had not used theses for sleep. I guess you could of called me whore back then. Derek was my boss, who I met at a bar. Alex was just this jerk, who called me a nurse. Now Derek's gone and has been for 4 years. Alex is my person, and second soulmate. I don't know what I would do without him. He has always been my rock since day one.

Cris kept checking up on me. I kept asking Maggie and Cris where Alex was. But they wouldn't tell. Which I find a bit strange. Alex wouldn't not visit me. "Cris I'm serous where's Alex"? I asked in frustration. She turns away from me. I automatically knew something was wrong. I had this gut wrenching feeling. Once Cris opens her mouth. It will be out there. I would know. Cris slowly walks over to my bed. She grabs the chair and pushes it closer to me. She sits down and draws in a deep breath. I could hear my heart pounding. Did I really want to know? Is he okay? He has to Okay. She slowly breaths out. I could see her lips trembling.

"Cris what is it?" I stated as panicked look crossed her face. "Mer, Alex had heart attack"Cris states. I feel the air starting to be stucked from my lungs. Cris notices me. "Mer he's okay. He's talking" Cris reassures me as I let out a cry. He's okay. I need to stop getting so worked up. I love him more than anything. "Take me to see him" I begged her. She gives me a sorrowful look. "Okay, I will ask" she replied as she left the room to ask someone. Maggie was by the front door. She had a small smile crossing her brown cheeks.

"Mer, I'm so happy your okay" Maggie says as she hugs me. I hugged back. "I'm happy, I'm okay too. I was just really shocked and scared. I didn't mean to scare you guys or causing Alex to have a heart attack" I chocked out a sob. Maggie pulls me closer and kisses my temple. "Mer, it's okay. We are not blaming you. Alex's heart was working double time. It could of happened at anytime. It's not you're fault at all. It's actually good we caught when we did. Mer, you need to take it easy. Nothing that can hurt you. It's best you not have sex"Maggie explains to me. The last words about sex. Especially coming from my sister. It caused me to blush. "Maggie this is werid coming from you" I laughed. Her face turned bright red too. "Mer"! She exclaimed as she grabbed her face in embarassment. "I'm sorry mags" I chucked. "You can see Alex, Okay Mer" Cris states as she comes up to my bed with a wheelchair.

I slowly get out of the bed and hopped on my foot to the wheelchair. The laughs and giggles came from Amelia, Cris and Maggie as I got into the wheelchair. I turned my head in their direction and roll my eyes back. They stop laughing and decided to push my wheelchair instead. I slapped their hands away. I shot them glares. I put my hands on the wheels and pushed my way to Alex's room. My arms were getting tired. Maggie and Cris watched me in amusement waiting for an apology. I sighed and decided to give them apologetic look their ways. They all nodded in unison as they helped me to Alex's hospital room. I finally reach Alex's room. His eyes are closed. I felt the tears well up behind my eyes but I don't let them fall. I move my wheelchair closer to Alex. Alex starts to stir in his sleep. He's eyes fly open. He looks at me and a huge grin crossed his face. He sits ups in his bed. "Alex why did you have to have a heart attack. You scared me. I don't know what I would do without you" my voice cracks. His eyes widen with concern. "Mer, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I guess my heart just couldn't handle the stress" he answers back as he wiped the now falling tears from under my eyes. "Alex l love you so much. You can't be keep doing this" I sighed as I reached my eyes and wiped the left over tears from falling.


	33. The Struggles Of Recovery

Mer's pov

 _One month later..._

 _Have you ever felt like your world was being ripped from underneath you? Well I have. It seems like your fine one minute and the next you're hanging by a thread. They say one thing about recovering from a surgery. Or recovering in general. It's difficult, troubling, but it's not impossible. They say once you cut the cord between what's trying you down, you feel weightless. It's like your floating in the air. It's like you have all this freedom do whatever you want or please to do._ _It's been a very difficult process. Everyone says it's early. But they don't know what the fuck they are talking about._

 _I woke up sprawled across both sides of the bed. I open my eyes and the glimmer of light shines through the cracks of the curtains. I look over to other side of me. I notice that Alex is no longer in bed. He must of been paged in the middle of the night. It's a normal thing to happen. Your patient codes, your paged. No matter where you are. I felt my stomach churn. I threw the covers off of me. Once my feet touch the floor. I could feel myself practically racing to the bathroom. I almost hurled on the carpet. I make it to the bathroom just in time before seconds later I'm tossing the contents in my stomach from last night's dinner in the toilet. After 10 mins of constant puking. I flushed the toilet. I grabbed some toilet paper. I wiped the corners of my mouth. I leaned against the wall. I start to think back in my head. Then I realize. I'm a month late. I should have gotten my period last week. My eyes start well up with burning tears. If I'm pregnant, how will he react?_

I crawl my way to under the sink. There's a stash of pregnancy tests. I always keep them around. I mean there's me, maggie and Cris here. I ripped the plastic off. I take the test. 2 mins laters. I pick up the white pregnancy test in my hands. The test says positive. The thoughts rushed into my mind. The burning realization hits me. My breathing quickens. My heart races in my chest. I know I can be a great mother. It's just Alex and I just got together. Oh god how's he going react. The thought strikes me. I have to tell him. Mental flashbacks burn into my memory. Images of me being kicked, slapped, punched after I told Paul. The constant screams. He's horroring cold face. I could hear him screaming.

 ** _Flashback_**

"You stupid bitch"! Paul screamed.

"I'm sorry I haven't been feeling good lately" I said.

"Fuck, Are you pregnant"? He yelled.

"I don't know" I cried.

" I will be back don't move"! He shouted.

He comes back 20 mins later. He hands me the pregnancy test. He pushes me towards the bathroom. I peed on the little stick. I was so scared if it came out positive. Two mins later. I looked at the test and cried. It was positive. I have no idea how he would react. I opened the bathroom door.

"What does it say"? He asked.

"It's say I'm pregnant" I said shaky.

"Damn you bitch" He snapped.

He threw self at me. I tried to block his punches. But he punched me right in the face.

"That's what you get, you slut"! He yelled.

He stormed out. I bursted out crying. Tears soaked my face. I got pregnant by Paul. This guy is the father. I was kidnapped and now I'm having a baby. I just want to go home. I forced myself to go to sleep. I let keep thinking happy thoughts. That's what I have been doing to stay calm. I want Alex. I haven't seen my kids in so long. They probably think I'm dead. Alex has probably given up on me. "I will get out of here" I whispered to myself.

End of flashback

As the tears continued to stream down my pale cheeks. I'm still chocking on my tears as I text Cris and jo. Why does it take so long for people to get places? The first to show up is Cris of course. I hear the front door open and her calling my name. "Mer"? She yelled throughout the house. I clear my throat shakenly. "I'm upstairs"! I yelled from the bathroom. She runs up the creeky stairs over to me. She opened the door quickly. She looks down at the bathroom floor where she sees me. "Mer you okay"? She asked in a concern tone. I take a deep breath in. She notices how tense I am and her face starts to contort into concern. "I'm pregnant and I have no idea how he will react" I stammered as fresh new tears leak through my eyes. Her eyes flash with compassion. She moves closer to me and scoots up next to me. She placed her hand gently on my shoulder.

"Mer, Alex will never hurt you. He won't hurt you or the baby. He wouldn't even hurt a fly unless that fly was hurting you. He loves you. And he did nothing but worry about you the whole time you were gone" Cris explains as she rubs my shoulder soothingly. There was a knock on the door. I couldn't stand up. My legs were frozen in place. Cris opens the door and jo walks in. She had a smile on her face until she saw my face. Her face turned into instant concern. Her eyes traveled to the test on the sink. I could feel her eyes soften.

"Mer, it's going be okay. He won't be mad. He won't treat you the way Paul did. Alex wants kids and a family. The white picket fences, parks for his children to play at. He will be a great father" jo explains softly as she wipes my tears away.

"Thanks guys for helping me feel better. I'm just terrified. The last I had tell someone I was pregnant, he didn't take it well. As the jo came closer I began to flinch. She faces turns into worry. "Mer I'm not going to hurt you" She stated calmly as she wraps her arms around me. Cris's face was hard to interpret. I couldn't tell if she was mad or upset. "Mer, Alex it's not going to react the way Paul did" Cris whispers. Just hearing his name sent shivers down my back. My heart began to pound rapidly in my chest. Cris and Jo saw how panicked I was and hugged me. Our tears slid down our cheeks.

After a while on the bathroom floor. I stand up from where I was siting. "Cris, could you give me a ride to see Alex"? I asked hoping she had no way on saying no. Cris smirks up at me. "Of course, Mer" She states as she pulls out her keys from her pocket. Jo gives me a slightly smile. I knew she was hiding something. "Jo what is it"? I question with a hint of worry. Jo looks up from her feet and up at me. Her smile starts to disappear. My mind started racing. Why could see be not be happy? Did something happen? She clears her throat.

"Mer, can I speak to you for a minute"? She asked as she tried hiding a frown. I think she could sense the curiousness on my face. Because when I looked into her eyes. She wouldn't look me straight, she kept looking to the side or to the floor. Being the person who worries, this just caused me to be anxious. More chills were sent down my spine. "Has Paul tried to contact you"? Jo asked as her lips curled in fear. Hearing his name made me flinch. My lips were trembling. "N-no he hasn't" I stammered. Her voice was almost so soft you couldn't hear her mumbles about her terrifying threats. Cris's eyes widened in terror. The words that were exiting Jo's mouth were like being stabbed by sharp knifes repeatedly. I watched as Jo's eyes welled up with tears. The shivers and chills ran down my back. She pulls out a piece of paper with specks. The same specks that were red. The same exact one I got the first time, he sent me one after my accident.

The Painful flashbacks started to burn profusely into my memory. Images burned into my recognition. Bearing under the blankets hiding fearful for my life as he crept my room. The spine-chiling torture sex room. His hands on me, his disgusting taste in my mouth. I could still taste his venom. The way he talked or screamed at me were not distant nightmares. They were closer nightmares that would sneak up on you when you least expect it. Dragging you down the hole deeper,deeper and deeper until you see nothing but darkness of your soul sucking life. He caused me to remember every detail of what my mother said. How ordinary, disappointed she was of me. And how I will never live up to her exceedingly high expectations. I still have scars and mental burns from the horrendous trauma I have been through.

I shake off the painful nightmare. I look up to jo. She was shaking and crying. I felt my heart being twisted into with a knife. "Mer I'm scared. His letters haven't stopped. They say when he gets out he will get back at me and kill me" Jo chocks out as she starts to hyperventilate. Me and Cris wrap our arms around her as she lets out heartbreaking cries. I could feel her heart rate start to slow down. She began to calm down. I let go of jo and wiped her tears away from her bloodshot eyes. "It's going to be okay, Jo. He won't get you and I will make damn sure of it" I reassured her. She starts to let out giggles. Pretty soon we were all laughing our way to the car.


	34. Deal Breaker

_**Mer's pov**_

 _After we get to the car. Jo's laugher had died down. Cris was focused on the road. While I was trying to figure out how I was going to tell Alex. I could buy a onesie that says your going to be daddy. No, that's too cliche. Ugh, what am I going to do? It's not just that I can blurt it out. I have to tell him some how. But how am I going to tell him. I know Alex is the most supportive person I know. Through out my career, He was always being my rock. He would be my cheerleader when I didn't think I was good enough. When I got nominated for the Harper Avery Award, he was more elastic then I was. And when I actually won. I was amazed on got it and he wasn't jealous. Derek would of been jealous, but also supportive. There's times I miss him more than anything. He was my first one. You can't just forget about someone, who meant so much to you. It's just not that easy. And I will never forget him ever. He will always be there in my heart._

 _As we were driving, I felt the car swift. Of course my mind starts to think the worst possibilities. Cris grabs the steering wheel quickly and gets back on the road. She pulls up to the edge of the road. I think she saw how petrified I was, when we started swerving. The flashbacks of my car accident shot back at me. The screams, maggie, zozo on the ground, watching her die. It was all too much. Cris turns to me and Jo._

 _"Mer, Are you alright"? Cristina asks as she looks over at me. It takes me a couple moments to process if I was okay. I didn't realize I was holding my breath. I let out a puff of air. "Yes, I'm okay. It just made me think of my accident" I clairfy as I put my palm of my hand rest it on my chest. My heart was still pounding rapidly against my chest. Jo looks over at me and I could see that she saw how scared I was. She raised her hand and placed it on my hand. I grab her hand tightly. "Mer, it's okay to be scared, you went through something pretty traumatic. Even for a normal person, who hasn't been through all the tragedies you have been through" Jo states as she holds my hand and with her other hand, she brushes her fingers through my hair gingerly._

 _Cris puts the car back and drive. She refocuses on the road. The roads are covered with snow. The snow kept falling from the grey sky. Jo lets go of my hand and stops brushing through my hair. I was feeling really tired. After finding out, I'm pregnant. That's a lot to deal with. Is this going to be a deal breaker? I doubt that Alex would dump me. If he did then that's the old Alex and I didn't like that Alex one bit. We have worked so hard to change that Alex._

 _Cris finally pulls into the parking lot. I get out of the car feeling kind of nauseous. It was a bumpy ride. Every bump she hit, made me feel sick. The nausea took over and hurled right there in the parking lot. Jo gets out next and hands me a cup of water. After I was done, I took a gulp of water. The water caused me to gag and throw up once again. Jo gives me a sympathic smile. Cris rubs my back to help me from chocking again. "Mer, do you want me to do the ultrasound"? Cris asked with a small hint of hope I would say yes. I never see her so happy about me having a baby. Maybe it's because it's Alex's. "Really, you would do that for me"? I asked with a surprised look on my face. "Of course, Mer I would" she laughs and it causes me to spit out the water I was drinking on the ground. I start to laugh as we walk into Grey Sloan. Jo trails behind us as me and Cris hold hands as we are laughing._

 _A huge boom of a voice shouted at us."Guys, you're in a hospital, Now act like it"! Baliey scolded as she pointed at us angrily. Our faces turned into shock and we turned around. Then Baliey realizes it was us._

 _"Meredith, what are you doing here"? Baliey questioned, as she moved her hands. I felt my stomach churn. My face starts to turn pale._

 _"Are you okay, Grey"? Baliey asked again with concern shown on her complex face._

 _Before I could answer, I raced to the nearest trash can and puked my guts out again. Jo and Cristina speed walked to me. My stomach finally settled, but I started to feel light headed. Jo notices me swaying back and forth. "Mer, Meredith. Mer, are you okay? Mer answer me"! Jo cried panicked. I felt myself starting to fall but, before I could tell them. My knees buckled and I was sent flying back. My head hit the hard cold floor. My vision became blurry. "Mer"! Cris yelled with tears running down her cheeks. My eyes got very heavy and the last thing I heard was Jo yelling. " Crash cart"! Jo yelled trying to remain calm._

 _Jo's pov_

It was three in the afternoon. I just got home from a long shift. My patient was having multiple organ faliure, but sadly he didn't survive the surgery. The surgery was too much for his heart. My phone binged. I opened my phone and saw a text from Mer. Me and her have gotten closer over this year. After I watched her get shot right in front of me, three times. It was a lot and I was terrified of Paul finding me. So I hid in the scrub room with Alex. He was so distraught, heartbroken. I felt so devastated for him. It wasn't fair how they have to ruin everything, because they are stronger and more powerful.

I knocked on the bathroom door. I listened to Mer's cries. It was heartbreaking. Cris opens the door and I walk in. I had a smile on her face until I saw Mer's face. My face turned into instant concern. My eyes traveled to the test on the sink. Oh no. I started to feel so sorry. I know Alex wants kids and has wanted them since Izzie and him got married. But it was destroyed because Izzie left. And once again, she almost ruined his life again.

"Mer, it's going be okay. He won't be mad. He won't treat you the way Paul did. Alex wants kids and a family. The white picket fences, parks for his children to play at. He will be a great father" I explained softly as I wipes her tears away.

"Thanks guys for helping me feel better. I'm just terrified. The last I had tell someone I was pregnant, he didn't take it well. As I came closer to her began to flinch. My face turns into worry. "Mer I'm not going to hurt you" I stated calmly as I wrap my arms around her. "Mer, Alex it's not going to react the way Paul did" Cris whispers. I could tell when she heard his name it sent shivers down her back. Cris and I saw how panicked She was and we hugged her. Our tears slid down our cheeks.

"Cris, could you give me a ride to see Alex"? She asked hoping she had no way on saying no. Cris smirks up at mer. "Of course, Mer" She states as she pulls out her keys from her pocket. I give her a slightly smile. I knew she could tell I was hiding something. "Jo what is it"? She questioned with a hint of worry. I look up from my feet and up at her. My smile starts to disappear. I clear my throat softly. But still trying to sound strong.

"Mer, can I speak to you for a minute"? I asked as I tried hiding. "Has Paul tried to contact you"? I asked as my lips curled in fear. Hearing his name made her flinch. Her lips were trembling. "N-no he hasn't" She stammered. My voice was almost so soft you couldn't hear my mumbles about the terrifying threats. Cris's eyes widened in terror. "Mer I'm scared. His letters haven't stopped. They say when he gets out he will get back at me and kill me" I chock out as I started to hyperventilate. Mer and Cris wrap their arms around me as I let out heartbreaking cries. Mer let go of me and wiped my tears away from my bloodshot eyes. "It's going to be okay, Jo. He won't get you and I will make damn sure of it" She reassured me. I started to let out giggles. Pretty soon we were all laughing our way to the car.

When we get to the hospital. Mer gets out of the car first. I was still worried about her. I know it's tough to tell someone your pregnant. When I told Paul the first time. He swung at me. I ran down the hall and hid for hours. Then the next day, I was forced to have an abortion. I still live with the guilt, regret to this day. That was 5 years ago. After I was forced to give up my baby and after the last beating, I ran away.

I _get out the car next and hand her a cup of water. After She was done, She took a gulp of water. I guess the water caused Mer to gag and throw up once again. I give her a sympathic smile. Cris rubs mer's back to help her from chocking again. "Mer, do you want me to do the ultrasound"? Cris asked with a small hint of hope She would say yes. I saw a huge look of surprise on Mer's face show. "Really, you would do that for me"? Mer asked with a surprised look on her face. "Of course, Mer I would" she laughs and it causes Mer to spit out the water She was drinking on the ground. She starts to laugh as we walk into Grey Sloan. I trail behind them as Mer and Cris hold hands as they were laughing._


	35. A Winter Nightmare

Jo's Pov

 _A huge boom of a voice shouted at us."Guys, you're in a hospital, Now act like it"! Baliey scolded as she pointed at us angrily. Mer and Cristina's faces turned into shock and they turned around. Then Baliey realizes it was us._

 _"Meredith, what are you doing here"? Baliey questioned, as she moved her hands. I notice Mer's face starts to turn pale._

 _"Are you okay, Grey"? Baliey asked again with concern shown on her complex face._

 _Before She could answer, She raced to the nearest trash can and puked her guts out again. Me and Cristina speed walked over to Mer. I notice Mer swaying back and forth. "Mer, Meredith. Mer, are you okay? Mer answer me"! I cried panicked. I saw that, Mer's knees buckled and She was sent flying back. She hit her head on the hard cold floor._

 _"Mer"! Cris yelled with tears running down her cheeks. Her eyes began to shut. I started to get really panicked._

 _"Crash cart"! I yelled trying to remain calm. I was handed the defibrillator. I placed it on her chest._

 _"Wait, She is pregnant"! Yang yelled as she wiped her eyes and checked the monitor. Bailey's eyes widen. Webber, April, Jackson and Arizona stood completely stunned. "Guys"! I yelled to get their attention. They pull themselves out of shock and began working. "How's the baby"? I asked concernly as I looked at Mer's closed eyes. "The baby is fine" Arizona stated as she checked Mer's pulse. It was still the same. My eyes began to well up with tears. Jackson sees me and tells me to go tell Alex. I wasn't expected to tell Alex. He was supposed to learn from Mer. But Mer can't really tell him._

 _As I look for Alex, I saw him siting in the lounge eating his lunch. I look at the time, it was 6:30. Alex notices me enter the room. "Hey, jo" Alex said as he continued to eat his pasta. I felt uneasy when I was around him. A part of me is still hurt about him being with her but the other part loves them together. "Hey, Alex" I said quietly as I paced the room. Alex's eyes left his pasta and he look up at me with his piercing eyes. "Is everything, okay Jo"? Alex questioned suspiciously as his eyes looked straight into my eyes. I cleared my throat and tried my best to lie my way out._

 _" uh, yes everything is fine" i stuttered as I looked down at my feet. While I was silently cursing myself in my head. Now Alex started to notice my uneasiness. I tried my best to hide it, he saw right through the barrier. "Jo what is going on"? He asked more curiously. I took a deep breath in. I exhaled and sat right down next to Alex on the couch. Alex sits up more. "Alex, I don't know how to tell you this, Mer is in the hospital. And she's having your baby. The baby is okay. We haven't been able to see if Mer will get through his. We were on our way here to have her tell you. When we got here, she started puke. And it caused her to feel weak. I don't know if she had anything to drink" I explained to him trying my best not to break down. Alex sat there stunned. He couldn't believe what he just heard. Alex clears his throat and begins to speak._

 _"Mer's pregnant"? Alex stutters as his breathing quickened. I saw Alex began to panic. I wrapped my arms around him so he wouldn't start to panic. "It's going to be okay. She's going to be okay" I reassure him as his breathing softened. "Okay, Okay. It's going to be okay" Alex kept repeating to himself over and over again._

 _Alex's Pov_

 _They say shock is nomal. It's suppose to over take you a bit, but not control you. Sometimes the shock overthrows you and causes panic. If you don't let it. It won't take over and consume you in your guilt._

 _This morning , I woke up in a fetal position. I honestly have no idea how I got like that. Mer's recovery has gone by slower. I wish I could just take away the pain from her. She tells not to worry. By her telling me not worry, I end up worrying anyway. It's 4:30, when my alarm blares me to finally get ready for work. I walk over to my closet and throw on my scrubs. I head back over to my nightstand and grab my phone. I recheck the time. The time is now, 4:35. I should get going. I get into my car and put the key in the ignition. Just as I pull out of the drive away, my pager goes off. I groaned and checked the message. It said that Kevin Let is him again to see his girlfriend on the 4 floor. I get He wants to get some action. But his health is more important. If he blows his new kidney, he will have to be put on insulin again and back on the UNOS again for the 2 time. It took me so long to get him on that list._

 _When I get to his room. He is panting. His cheeks are red. He's breathing faster than last night. I rush over to him. "Kevin, You need to calm down" I ordered him. Kevin starts to calm down. I looked over to his mother, who looked super anxious. I was worried for her. She's a great mother. She had been to every one of his surgeries. She works two jobs to pay for his medical expenses._

 _"Dr Karev, is my son going to be okay"? Angela asked worriedly. "M.S marin, Kevin needs to slow down. Otherwise he will have to be put on insulin and have to get a new kidney" I explained as I read his chart. Her eyes seemed so hopeful. I wish I could be hopeful. My life has been so complex, that it is hard to be hopeful. I turned towards her and smiled. "Okay, he needs to slow down. I will make sure he is okay" Angela stated as she sat next to Kevin. " I will be back to check on Kevin in an hour, bye" I stated as I closed the door behind me._

 _I decided to change it another set of scrubs. Mine were covered in blood from last surgery. My stomach rumbled loudly. I walked over to the fridge and pull out my homemade pasta. As I was eating I saw jo walk in. "Hey, jo" I said as I continued to eat my pasta. "Hey, Alex" Jo said quietly as She paced the room. My eyes left my pasta and I looked up at her with my eyes. I noticed how tense and nervous she was being. I started to feel a little worried. "Is everything, okay Jo"? I questioned suspiciously as my eyes looked straight into her eyes. She cleared her throat and tried her best to lie her way out. I have known Jo for so long, that when she tried to lie. I automatically know she's lying._

 _" uh, yes everything is fine" she stuttered as She looked down at her feet. I started to notice her uneasiness._

 _"Jo what is going on"? I asked more curiously._

 _She took a deep breath in. She exhaled and sat right down next to me on the couch. I started to sit up more._

 _"Alex, I don't know how to tell you this, Mer is in the hospital. And she's having your baby. The baby is okay. We haven't been able to see if Mer will get through his. We were on our way here to have her tell you. When we got here, she started puke. And it caused her to feel weak. I don't know if she had anything to drink" She explained to me trying her best not to break down._

 _I sat there stunned. I couldn't believe what I just heard. Mer's pregnant. She's pregnant with my baby. I could feel myself start to panic. I cleared my throat and began to speak._

 _"Mer's pregnant"? I stuttered as my breathing quickened. Jo saw me start to panic. She wrapped her arms around me so I wouldn't start to panic. "It's going to be okay. She's going to be okay" She reassured me as my breathing softened. "Okay, Okay. It's going to be okay" I kept repeating to myself over and over again. Mer's going to make it. I won't cry, she's going be okay. And I'm going to be a father. I won't a father like my dad. I will be a way better father. I'm going to spin her or him around until they get dizzy._

 _It seemed like hours before Mer was back in her room. As I walked up to her bed, I saw how beautiful she was. Her eyes were shut, but I could still picture what the color of her eyes are. Her eyes are the color green, which sparkled in the moonlight. Her smile never dims, when it starts to rain. Seattle is known for rain, dark and gloomy. She never lets the rain bother her. The only time I have seen her look at the gloomy sky and feel down. That was when her mother had one lucid day and called her ordinary._

 _Arizona walked through the door. Her face was calm but she kept staring at me with worry. "Alex, Are you Okay" Zona asked in a worried tone as she looked at Mer's face. I honestly didn't know how I felt. A part of me was stuck in time and the other was just thinking about me being a father._

 _" I'm worried that I won't be a good father. I didn't think I can be the father that this baby deserves" I stated with a sad smile. Zona noticed I was about to break down and hugged me gently._

 _"Alex don't think our yourself like that. Of course your going to be a great father. You're so good with kids. You treat Mer's and Derek's kids like your own. Don't worry about screwing them up. You're way much better of a father than your father was to you" Zona expressed as she looked at me. I felt my smile widen and small happy tears went down my face. "Zona, thanks for thinking about me much better than I think of myself" I smiled back. "Your welcome, Alex" Zona said as she looked up at me._


	36. A Spark Of Hope

~ sorry this chapter is so late. I got a little writers block~

Alex's pov

Three hours later...

 _After Zona visited me to see if I was okay. I was laying on the chair next to her. She still not awake yet. Deep inside fear is gnawing in my core. I know something is not right. She should be awake by now. I start to feel more panicked. I call the one person who could keep me from breaking down. "Alex, I'm in the waiting area. Are you okay"? Cris asked from the other side of the line. I could tell the worry was eating her up too. "Not really, I'm worrying about Mer. She hasn't woken up yet" I stated as I stared at Mer's face. Cris is quiet after hearing my sad tone in my voice. I wasn't going to cry. Mer was going to make it and there's no other way. She not going to die on me. I need her more than I need air to breathe. I know it seems like an Exaggeration, she means the world to me._

 _"Alex, do you want me to come upstairs."? Cris asked trying not to pry. I took a shaky breath. "Could you?" I asked trying not fall apart. I could hear movements from the other side of the line. "Yes I'm on my way." Cris answers before hanging up. I decided to leave the room, otherwise I would just break down. Cris comes up to me and pulled me into hug. I embrace the hug even though I wasn't in a hugging mood._

 _Cris's Pov_

 _I was sitting in the waiting room, trying to hold myself together. I honestly didn't know if Mer was going to pull through this time. After all the chaos over the years. I have been slowly giving up my hope. Maybe there will be a spark of hope. You never know. My phone rang in the silent room. The only you could hear was the blaring ringtone being played on my_ _phone. "Alex, I'm in the waiting area. Are you okay"? I asked from the other side of the line. "Not really, I'm worrying about Mer. She hasn't woken up yet" Alex stated._ _"Alex, do you want me to come upstairs."? I asked trying not to pry. I could a shaky breath being taken. "Could you?" He asked trying not fall apart. "Yes I'm on my way." I answered before hanging up._

 _I walked up to the elevator desperately wanting the pain that was resurfacing to just go away. As I pressed the third floor button on the elevator pad, I began to feel tears slip from eyes. I blinked back the aching tears and walked through the elevator door. My eyes scan the room trying to find where Alex was. I couldn't stop worrying about him. It was like he was stuck in my brain and is refusing to leave. I reached the door and pulled it open, instantly feeling the power the empty hopelessness was burdening. Alex looked up from Mer's face and stared heartbreakingly at me. I felt an ache burning into my heart. I have seen Alex like this many times, but this time seemed more broken then the other times._

 _"Alex I'm here." I said walking up to the chair he is in. I could tell he was barely keeping it together. Alex let out a sighed and stared back at Mer's face._

 _"Okay." Alex mumbles as he continued to stare at Mer . It was heartbreaking. How Alex looked._

There was a knock at the door, causing me and Alex to turn our heads. Jackson and Amelia stood in the door way with Jo behind. The tension in the room rose drastically as they made their way into the room. The nervousness ate me up inside, while I was eagerly waiting for the news.

"She should be stable enough now." Jackson said as he checked the chart. April stood there next to Jackson nodding her head. I felt the nervousness starting to disappear.

"Okay thanks, Avery." I said as I grabbed the chart from his hands. My eyes scanned over the chart, checking every box and leaving check marks. Everything was good. Her bp was slightly elevated, but nothing to worry about. Jackson and April left the room and closed the door behind them. I turned to look at Alex. Mer slowy started opening her eyes. I could hear moans coming from her mouth.

"Mer, we are here. Shh, it's okay." Alex said as he watched Mer open her eyes. I was so happy. My person is back.

"A-lex." Mer says with a raspy voice. Alex got up from the bed and walked over to the sink, handing her a cup of water. She took the cup from his hands and took a gulp. "Where am I?" Mer asked as she rubbed her eyes. I took a deep breath.

"Mer, you collapsed after we got here." I said as I rubbed a soothing hand down her back. Mer starts to have a frantic look on her face. "Shh don't worry the baby is fine." I said with a hopeful smile. Mer starts to relax a little.

"Oh that's good." Mer softly yawned out.


	37. Future

**_~ This is the end of my book. I hope you like it. I'm sorry I have been slacking. I have been very busy with school and I didn't have much ambition to write. I really enjoyed writing this. I hope you like the ending. I tried my best to make a good ending. I'm not the best at endings. - love Aut~_**

 ** _Future - Mer's Pov_**

 _Five years later, Alex and I were now married. It seemed like a long and complicated journey. The baby was now five years old. We named her Jasmine. She is my joy and love. Zola is 10 years old. She is in 4th grade. I can't believe my Zozo is almost a teen. I honestly don't want her to grow up. I want her to stay my little girl forever. Baliey is 8 and Ellis 7 is now. My kids are growing up so fast._

 _Alex came bursting into our room with a cake. I opened my eyes, surprised to see the cake with icing writing spelling out "Congrats mom". I forgot to mention I won a Harper Avery award. My eyes widened as the girls and Baliey came along behind them._

 _"Alex, you didn't have to make me a cake." I said as I picked up Jasmine and placed her on the bed. Alex looked at me like I was delirious. "Mer, But you worked so hard. Why can't I spoil my wife and the mother of my child." Alex stated as he placed the cake on the nightstand. Zola, Baliey and Ellis started jumping on the bed. "Alex what about us? Don't you consider us as your kids too." Zola whined as she jumped higher on the bed. Alex got up and grabbed her. "Of course I think your mine kids too." Alex says as he spins her around. I watched as Zola was spun around. Watching her laugh and giggle really brought my emotions up. I still struggle with depression every once in a while. I still have the terrible nightmares about what has happened to me._

 _"Mer come get up. We have a little party at Grey Sloan for you." Alex encouraged as he pulled me up from the bed. I tried to dig my heel into the mattress, but he was too strong._

 _"Alex!" I whined as he threw over his shoulder and laughing as he brought me down the stairs. Zola, Baliey chuckled as they followed behind._

 _"Mer!" Alex mocked as he put me down. I stood on my feet and headed to the kichen. I rolled my eyes. Alex just kept laughing. I don't know why he thinks it's so funny. There was a knock at the door, I walked up to the door and pulled it open. Cris walked through the doorway carrying a bunch of roses._

 _"Morning, Evil Spawn." Cris mocked as she handed me the roses._

 _I turn my head to see Alex rolling his eyes. I looked at the card. From: Thatcher. I'm so proud of you, Meredith. I know you didn't really want me in your life after Lexie passed. And I understand, I was awful to you. I just wanted to congratulate you on winning a Harper Avery. You're mother would be so proud. Even though she didn't show it. She really did love you, Meredith. - Love Thatcher ( your father). I smiled at the card. I couldn't believe after all these years. He actually cared. I felt little tears poking at my eyes. Alex walked up to me and read the card._

 _"Awe Mer. It's okay don't cry." Alex said in a soothing tone as I curled into his arms. I wiped the tears from my eyes. I didn't exactly forgive him. I don't think I should be mad anymore. Maybe I will even give him a chance._

 _"I'm not crying. Okay, maybe but they were happy tears. My father actually congratulated me. That doesn't ever happen. Like ever." I explained as i smiled as I grabbed the coffee Alex made me. Cris looks at me and smiles._

 _"I'm happy that your the sun." She remarked as the sent a smirk over to Alex. And Alex rolled his eyes again. "Oh where is Evil spawnette?" Cris asked as she looked around the kichen._

 _"She is upstairs." Alex responds as he grabbed his bag off the dining room table. That table is usually used for all of our stuff, not much for eating._

 _"Guys we should get going. We are going to be late." Cris states as she turns on her heel and toward the door._

 _Alex, Zola, Baliey, Ellis and Jasmine head to the car. I get in the car. As we drive to Grey Sloan. I couldn't stop thinking about the ones who wouldn't be there. George I missed so much. Lexie my little sister. I didn't like her at first, but I grew to love her. It was a shame she was taking from us so early. She had so much potential, she could of been a wonderful Neurosurgeon. My mother who I wished would of spent more time with me. She wasn't the greatest mother, but she was still my mother no matter what. She's Ellis Grey. The world renowned General Surgeon and the winner of two Harper Avery's._

 _We arrived at the hospital. I opened the car door, I was in this elegant dress. I didn't really want to dress up but Jo insisted. Alex followed close behind me. The girls and Baliey climbed out of the car next. Cris was already waiting for us. When we walked through the doors of Grey Sloan, eyes turned. All the eyes were centered on me. I knew a lot of people appreciated my skills and work ethic. In the room where it was usually the E.R. It was now a party. I was surprised on how much effort was put into all this._

 _"Mer, Do you like?" Someone asked from behind me with a cheerful voice. I turned around to see April and Jo with huge smiles printed on their faces._

 _"Yes... wow this is amazing. How did you pull this off?" I asked as shock spread through my voice. April's smile just brightened even more. I have known April for a while now. I met her during the merger. It wasn't friendship at first sight. After Derek was shot by Gary Clark. Me and April started getting closer._

 _"It was no problem. Mer, I have known you for so many years. I just threw this party to celebrate and honor your great work ethic. I'm so impressed with all your techniques." April confessed as she pulled me in for a hug. I embrace the hug and Jo joins the hug._

 _The dance floor started booming loudly. Everyone raced to the dance floor. Alex tapped my shoulder. "Would you like a dance?" Alex asked in flirty tone. I took his hands and we danced in the center of the dance floor. As we swayed side to side. I felt like my life was finally was at its best. I had my family, the award I always wanted. The one thing that was missing was the people I lost. The people that made a huge impact on my life. I missed them so much. I wish they were here._

 _"Alex do you ever miss George?" I asked as we danced. Alex looks up at me. I wasn't sure what his reaction was going to be. He takes a breath and clears his throat._

 _" I do, Mer. Not cause I used to pick on him. Yes at one point was so really mad, he went after Izzie. But I always missed the guy. He is always going to be 007 in my eyes." Alex confessed as he pulls me closer to him. Hearing the words 007 to me back to being an intern. It felt like it was my first day. He was shamelessly flirting with me._

 _"I miss him a lot. And he wasn't a bad kisser." I stated as I watched Alex's face cringe. I started laughing. He actually thought I was serious._

 _"Mer,I still can't believe you slept with him. And I really don't need that image in my head." Alex complained as he closed his eyes. I just kept laughing. His face was so priceless to look at._

 _"Alex come down. I was joking." I stated as I laughed even harder. Alex started laughing along with me._

 _"Mer would you like to get some drinks at the bar?" He questioned as he linked my arm with his. I could really use some tequila._

 _"Ooh, Alex tequila." I exclaimed as my jam came through the speakers. Alex rolled his eyes back in his head._

 _"Oh Mer don't you ever get tired of tequila!" Alex sighs dramatically as he and I walk to the bar._

 _"No alex never! It's like my savior!" I giggled as we get to the bar. The bartender I instantly recognized. Oh my god it's Joe._

 _"Joe!" I exclaimed as I let go of Alex's arm and ran up to Joe._

 _"Mer, it's good to see you. It's been a long time." Joe said as he hugs me back. I was so happy to see him again. It had been years since him and his boyfriend moved away._

 _"Joe how have you been?" I asked as I swallowed the shot of tequila. The liquid burned down my throat._

 _"I have been good. Is the other twisted sister around?" Joe asked as he poured me another shot. I took the second shot and the burn got less and less. I could hear the loud cheers._

 _"Joe!!" Cris exclaimed as she drunkly stumbled her way over to the bar. Alex just stared at us like we were crazy._

 _After the party was over. I was now sober but my head was killing me. I shouldn't of had that many tequila shots. I passed my way down the O.R. I looked over at the observation of the O.R. My eyes laid on the five people who matter the most. Lexie was first standing next to Mark. Lexie has this proud smile. I still wished they were actually there. I knew I wasn't drunk or high. But it made me seem crazy. I blinked my eyes closed and then open again. I saw the same thing. Derek was in the middle smiling so cheesy. I always loved his smile and laugh. George was next. I never seen so happy in his life. And the one that most surprised me. My mother was standing there clapping her hands. I felt the tears streaming down face. I never felt so accomplished in my life. I finally felt satisfied in my life. I look down at the ground and then back up. This time there was no one up there._

 _"Mer ready to go?" Alex asked as he carried sleepy Jasmine in his arms._

 _I take his free hand and clasped our hands together. As we walked out of the doors of Grey Sloan. I thought about the days and weeks I spent at this hospital. I did my internship, Residency and attending all at this hospital. The hospital had had many names over the years. Seattle Grace Hospital, Seattle Mercy West and Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. But all those names are just names. I knew this hospital as my life. When we got into the car and drove away. "Some journeys are with the complications of falling." This is my story and I hope you love it ~ Meredith Marie Grey-Karev._


End file.
